WOTM Oct 2021 final

Chip has had a resounding win this month, pushing SteveB into second place.  The Big O and Wren tie for joint third  place while Danny Soz comes in a credible fourth

Al OPecia 

Rare unsigned copy of draft Brexit Deal to be auctioned off

A.L.Shaw 

Meta transcends everything but definitely isn’t watching you, Big Brother insists

BangingOnAgain 

Man campaigning for 'green leave' because he got a new house plant

Man shocked to learn he is tall after stranger points it out

Beau -Jolly 

Active pensioner told to take it easy

Chipchase 

Britain has prepaid gas & electricity meters fitted to combat energy cost chaos

Doormen shortage Latest: 'Your name's on the list, we're begging you to come in'

E Viva España as Boris takes a well-earned post-party conference break in the sunshine

'Fu*k me, I was totally wrong about the Tories' admits a gobsmacked nation

John Lewis announces new Rees-Mogg Edwardian Collection

Kevin's seeing stars as his next model project is out of this world

Man devastated as 50-year-old Grateful Dead t-shirt finally disintegrates in wash

Picard slams Kirk's latest "mission" as "little more than a publicity stunt"

Select Committee asks Johnson to step down after obscure 18th-century parliamentary rule emerges

Shavings from Banksy's pencil sharpener sell for a record £2 billion pounds at auction

Thomas the Tank Engine: 'Scrap HS2 white elephant madness now'

Three held on charges of historic crimes against music

X Factor winners' reunion bash cancelled due to clerical cock-up

chrisf 

Kid on bike definitely going to pull a wheelie

‘Look, petrol is still 0.1p cheaper than next penny up’, notes optimist

Seven kids' gameshow formats that should be used in Squid Game 2

Dan.F 

“Covid? Oh, yeah, whatever happened with that?” asks mainstream media

Ironically early Christmas adverts just as annoying as the real thing

Wave down aeroplanes if you feel unsafe, Met tells women

Danny Soz 

Brexiteers slowly returning to the primordial soup claims leading anthropologist

Comic Book Shocker: Batman's Grandad To Be Unveiled as Trans Lesbian

I'll quell N. Korea threat with my big trousers: Simon Cowell's defiant vow

Local man feels brief interest in girlfriend’s relationship discussion

Man's hatred of 'dithering tw@t' at coffee bar rivalled that of Achilles for Hector, court told

Train driver dreams of one day becoming a 10-year-old boy

Doctor Chutney 

French trawler impounded outside Bridlington fish shop

Miserly London merchant welcomes Christmas shortages if they foretell of a shorter Christmas

Pessimistic forecast as Mum-of-two announces Household Budget

Dominic_mcg 

Cast of It Ain’t Half Hot, Mum to take charge of petrol crisis.

Channel 4 apologizes as Grand Designs couple don’t overspend or get pregnant

FlashArry 

Last of the "Downing Street Image Touslers" retires

Gary Stanton

Dominic Raab admits feeding a potential acid attacker to his pigs

Gerontius 

'Ditch the private jet journeys' Prince tells climate activists

‘Full investigation would only prove if accused was guilty or not’ say MET

Jack Yates 

Fuel crisis petrol station etiquette: government issues advice

Jim Skinz 

Parklife gutlord gets revenge on fat-shaming Blur

Landfill 

Budget: Rishi Sunak to pledge £30bn for suffering bankers say sources

Random story generator deployed at the sun

Lockjaw54 

Pepys’ diary: famine by Christmas

Medparry 

“Celebrity HGV driver” programme may solve government crisis

Modelmaker 

Motor mechanics move to reduce the number of face to face repairs

Tesco to launch three for the price of two refuse collections

TV stations announce new approach to cookery programmes

Nice Admin Lady 

Africa disguises itself as South America, to avoid Matt Hancock

NickB 

Police offer advice to women on what to do while being murdered by police

Ringo Starr disowns Yellow Submarine

oshaughnessy 

Johnson & Hancock awarded Nobel prize for work on ‘not following the science'

Minister of Humbug suggests it's now the perfect time to tell the kids Santa doesn't exist

Outrage as Taliban newspaper publishes cartoons ridiculing dead Swedish cartoonist

Queen to replace Windsor Castle with a Pyramid in preparation for imminent demise

Scrapping traffic light system will cause carnage, warns AA

Tesla drivers overtake Audi drivers as the biggest pricks on UK roads

Sarah Tipper 

Basic Clocks Startled At Being Forced To Lose An Hour

Sir Lupus 

Hancock falls foul of UN's new "no bellends" rule

Leaked papers land mayor of Cowes in freebie donkey ride scandal

Squudge 

Government to re-train prisoners as politicians to raise standards in public office.

SteveB 

Cabinet Squid Squabble set to get gory

Fan who collapsed during Newcastle Utd match couldn't believe how much Saudis paid for the club

Fears for life expectancy in Scotland triggered by Scottish Widows getting so much younger

Planet Earth to be recycled

Suspicious package at Manchester Airport was not Matt Hancock in Speedos

Terrorist organisation not claiming responsibility for any of its attacks on the UK

UK government finally delivers on Covid Delta PLUS

UK seeking international recognition for how many fingers it can stick up its own bottom

stewartbarclay 

Criticality of Daily Mails unleashes inferno of intolerance

Devil to claim souls of leading Tories at Halloween

Zahawi tells Cabinet ‘It’s your time you’re wasting’

Stu Horgan 

Study finds half of UK adults believe crumbs that fall into toaster ‘just disappear'

Suburban Dad 

Dinosaurs: asteroid “was good for them in the long-run”

Levelling up: Boris moves entire North offshore

Throngsman 

Government planning to delay covid enquiry ‘because we’re still screwing up’

Roman opposition to HS2 found in Stoke Mandeville

Wrenfoe 

 Capitalising on Sir David Amess' death to be privatised

Conservative Conference ends up being as sexy as always

‘I’m definitely honest – trust me on that,’ says Starmer with a cheeky wink.

Leaves on line to be removed by dry ice and Legs & Co

List of ‘Well-being’ scams doesn’t include Well-Being

NASA can see Brexit f$ckup from space

UK to turn Covid into petrol