Unofficial Newsbiscuit Writer of the Month Competition

Deskpilot has won this month by a country mile, with 4 Front Pages, a News in Brief and a totally awesome 19 headlines.  Simonjjames and Wren have to share second place and new contributor arborio mulling is just a couple of points behind. well done to all od the above, everyone who came after them and also those who pitched but didn't get picked this month - keep submitting those subs. As usual the list of URLs to the FPs, NiBs and Features are below the leader board followed by the cartoon of the month and the full list of headlines. apepper Cleverly: "I meant it as a compliment" Government clarify not giving a sh*t means that they'll start charging for it Government urged to issue list of acceptable insults for ministers Jeremy Hunt to make smoking compulsory Sunak accidentally re-instates Braverman before sacking her arborio mulling Braverman goes on PR camping trip to demonstrate appropriate tent usage David Cameron desperately looks for nearest toilet, becomes F

Simonjjames has had a storming month, followed by sully and Modelmaker apepper Sunak will make a decision on HS2 "after it's finished" Wave of fury as country will miss Jeremy Hunt losing his seat benjani 'I've already got Christmas sorted', claims smarmy git Benvoleo Overcrowded prisons great news for shady Tories Billclay After recent losses, Tories consider not using awful people Cara Smiffys to Release Existential Halloween Costumes for Those Suffering Quarter-Life Crises Chipchase Anger as French waste contractors announce plans to introduce annual collection schedule Builder, Colin, has hopes of quick Tesco transaction dashed Mark King's thumb to sue for mistreatment and loss of earnings Danny Soz Israeli and Hamas Leaders Anxiously Await Advice From Halfwits on Facebook Darkdorf Welcome....to Thoracic Park Deskpilot3 Armchair experts ‘just as good as opinion polls’ Dirty diesel drivers aim to sabotage London ULEZ Tories hail epic media strategy succ