March 2021 WOTM competition mid month

Due to the Wren rule, Wren is technically in the lead!  Now we know why Wren likes that rule.



antharrison 

Tresemme covid-19 vaccine approved by FDA and 85% of 104 women

Bobski 

Labour plans a Schrodinger’s Brexit policy

Meghan Markle and Queen to settle their differences on Jeremy Kyle show

Brigg AF 

Facebook user racks up 100 “I’ve had covid jab” posts from friends

Hotel guest demolishes free tea and coffee to “break even” on quarantine stay

One Dictation: Trump forms boy band with Kim Jong-un

Chrisf 

Witchell bot to be used for all Philip health updates, BBC confirms

DavidH 

Adopt Nigel Farage for £3 a month

Remember your face is reversed in a mirror: a handy guide to DIY dentistry

‘When it’s kinder to say nothing’: cards by Priti Patel

Deceangli 

House prices in Barnsley ‘through the roof’ after budget

Dominic_mcg 

Family concerned after dad forgets to do that fortune cookie joke.

Furloughed worker can’t quite remember what his job is

Filthy Rich 

Opinion divided on timing of Sturgeon-Sunak job swap

Shunted Gove celebrates latest ‘negative promotion’

Gerontius 

Harry delighted at beating the Simpsons in ratings

Morgan to host new CBeebies news channel

Lockjaw54

Horsemen of the Apocalypse overstretched, states spokesman

Max Stars 

BBC launches Attenborough channel

Midfield Diamond 

‘Bring a toy to the last day of home-schooling’ greeted with apathy

Toaster designer makes washing machine with ‘no effect whatsoever’ setting

Myke 

Bez agrees to be Vice-Chancellor of University of Manchester

Boris enjoys ‘125,000 dead’ popularity bounce

Carrie Symonds decorates no. 10 toilet with unpublished government contracts

‘I wanted to play Hamlet but just couldn’t get the parts,’ says plumber

Restrictions on being rude to shop workers to be lifted

Sunak offers a free fish with every vaccine

UK set to leave Eurovision under WTO terms

nicharper 

Dr Seuss books to be made species-neutral

“No mention of viruses in the bible” – Texas governor

Wales to be sold to Russia to pay covid debt

oshaughnessy 

Nurse wins lottery and promises to blow the entire £3.50 at KFC

Oxbridge 

Couple who escaped to the country escape back to London

What was that noise outside last night? Top 15 answers from your Facebook community page

Paul L 

New evidence reveals victim of pigeon sh*t chased pigeons as a child

StanleyMizaru 

Inevitable second wave of Royal coverage could overwhelm UK, warns Prof Whitty

Suburban Dad 

“Our voice is not being heard”, says thing lobbying group across 140 media sites

Throngsman 

Dido Harding to manage NHS pay review

Titus 

Builders of the Earth condemned for failing to clear construction site properly

Wrenfoe 

Covid applauds Swiss ban on face coverings

Elijah Wood ‘has not aged since 1995′

Man wants extra credit for not killing anyone

Met police kettle Mothering Sunday picnic

Your boss wants you back so he can look down your blouse again

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