November WOTM final week

After a week of chasing each other's tails, Chipchase has finally reached escape velocity and wiped the floor with everyone else - well done Chip. Wren has kept up the pressure and the likes of Dom, Chris, David and even Titus have had a great month.

It's also been good to see newcomers such as Webbo enter the league table, and fantastic to see old timers such as Squudge make a very welcome return.  Well done to everyone who made the league table, commiserations to all who tried but didn't make the cut - keep trying.

Adrian Bamforth  Robert Mugabe has gone phishing Millions flock to Jersey after island officially declared ‘paradise’

A.L.Shaw Office ‘character’ not missed antharrison Orthopedic surgeon resigns after touching woman’s knee Benvoleo  Brexit vote meant whatever’s in secret papers, says Brexiter

Chipchase 1970s comedians hail relaxation of Viagra sales as lifeline to flaccid careers Branagh and Poirot mustache announce ‘amicable split’ Daily Mail to go ‘100% made-up’ Honey Monster sues John Lewis for theft of image rights Internet divided after Twitter increases tweets to 280 characters Is space the final frontier for Katie Hopkins? May replaces First Sea Lord with ‘Admiral lady’ Minister calls for a total ban on Morris dancing in public places Post Office queues now measured in eras Trump snubs The Batley Bugle – again! Trump: Putin never interfered with me – it was all consensual Universal Credit anomaly ‘allows nation to live a Dickensian Christmas’, says Gauke

Chrisf Craig David ‘not actively seeking work’ in last 7 days say Jobcentre Plus Man banned from local gym after failing to urinate in shower Man limbers up for 2 months bullshitting about Ashes Pyrotechnics industry asks if clocks can go back just a little bit Tax-avoiding entrepreneurs boasted that ‘next year we’ll be millionaires’ Cinquecento, dominic_mcg, Sydalg, beau-jolly, Mrs Sinnick, FlashArry, Oxbridge, Ealing Studios, Sinnick, Economist, NotNowCato, riesler, Iroquois Pliskin, Titus, Penguin Books & Benvoleo Top Twenty Movie Sequels for 2018 DavidH Energy giants SSE, Npower and Jedward agree merger Hammond’s ‘non-unemployed’ to build 300,000 homes out of Weetabix

Deceangli Architects just hate people Fernandomando  Theresa May ‘just a Brexit tease’ Westminster warns Netflix to watch its back Gerontius Mercedes driver branded ‘selfish and arrogant’ by angry shoppers ‘Shark tried to grope me’ claims Brit surfer ‘Thought for the Day’ axed until ‘thinking’ resumed harrypalmer It was easier than getting through to HMRC, Apple explains Mysterious void discovered between Boris Johnson’s ears Prue Leith ruins Halloween for kids by shouting out punchlines

idriver Noddy to be prosecuted for tax evasion Itsmejack Dad dismisses sell-by dates as ‘superstitious nonsense’ Jamsieoconnor Brexit And Northern Ireland – a handy guide to who’s who and what’s what Midfield Diamond Automated checkouts to cheer up the elderly by being more chatty Driverless vehicles ‘could cause accidents by obeying Highway Code’ Snapchat outage causes world to stop turning Survey finally establishes who actually fills in surveys Milo Shame Global warming to solve everything

Naff Laff & Nickb   Queen tells country to do one

Newsbiscuit Editorial Team Large car driven by twat has oversized poppy on it

Newscat  Gregg's Carol Explorer rescued from shopping centre after 5 day ordeal Nelson’s Column converted into flats nickb  Mrs May ‘safe and sound’ under house arrest by Zimbabwean Generals nickb, Chipchase & Dominic_mcg Trump Royal Engagement tweets revealed Oxbridge Britain’s fish pun stocks ‘critically endangered’ SatNav character latest to make sex pest allegations

Skylarking Fans divided as Penny Mordaunt regenerates as 8th ‘Secretary’ Prince Harry and Meghan Markle ‘still engaged’ reveals Daily Mail Spawn of Sydalg Musician who stopped for 4’33” tea break sued for copyright infringement Squudge Eastenders loan-shark plot ‘a metaphor for BREXIT’, BBC admits.

Royal engagement marred by media focus on ‘colour’ StanleyMizaru Ofcom fines all channels over realistic ringtones

We’re just helping Mugabe find his keys, says army Suburban Dad Russia strongly criticises Corbyn’s future acceptance speech Sydalg  Reader’s Digest finally enters porn market thatwasbeast iPhone X to come pre-shattered, like your self-respect Schools to mark 25 years since last Mr T. reference Throngsman BBC confirms Tony Hart ‘still dead’ Couple rescued from Rhyl mud flats complain ‘holiday ruined’ by firefighters Flat Earth Society now ‘a truly Global organisation’ Kevin Spacey offered lead in Carl Sargeant Biopic Musicians condemned for not doing enough about political instability

Scientists warn of danger as moon sized rock passes within 240,000 miles of Earth Titus Daesh claim responsibility for Iran/Iraq earthquake Soldiers surrounding Buckingham Palace ‘are not a coup’ Tonymc81 Arms deals to be postponed for a week or so Disclosure means its okay Lidl unveil new 100% British Range Webbo Boris Johnson’s hair bids to be taken more seriously Plans for Northern Powerhouse rocked by discovery of Midlands

Theresa May edges towards first disaster free week Wrenfoe 126M Facebook users check out Russia’s Facebook status Brexit included in Black Friday offer Manchester City success based on rush goalie Mount Agung erupts in anger over Prince Harry engagement h Mrs Brown’s Boys in ‘laughter avoidance’ scheme Newsbiscuit’s Guide to Zimbabwe Profumo shagged Nazis and Communists – what a legend! Saying Espresso with an ‘X’ won’t damage your health Surgeons remove Young Person’s Railcard from Chancellor UK used jobseeker’s allowance to fund Israeli army YaBasta Priti Patel named as new James Bond