October WOTM Competition week 3

Week 3 sees Wren well in the lead, but due to what amounts to practically the only rule this competition has, he can't win this month as he's already balancing a mug on his avatar. YB is following up strongly and is currently in the lead as far as the competition goes. Chrisf, Dom, Adriam Bamforth and Chipchase are all also in strong contention, so the final week should be a nail biter.

Adrian Bamforth

Crimewatch finale ‘to answer all fans’ questions’

Cough sweet now ‘Prime Minister in waiting’


May refuses to say if she would vote for herself – or Jedward – again

Adrian Bamforth & Milo Shame

May refuses to say if she would vote for herself – or Jedward – again

Chipchase

May’s open letter to EU citizens ‘Remaining in UK is possibly guaranteed’

New research suggests death is nation’s biggest killer

Police free 30 from illegal weather girl farm

Rees-Mogg to publish own pamphlets in praise of May

Samaritans in urgent appeal for less gritty psychological dramas



Chrisf

Britain never bought its round either, says JunckerMan bemoans yet another low trade-in car valuation


Investment in technology ‘vital’ to counter rising crime in TV shows

Middle class man ‘dangerously low’ on conversation starters with kitchen fitters

Daneade

Corbyn hospitalised after laughing fitEmbarrassing public malfunction by British-built robot

Geordie women win right to go clubbing naked

Monarch still better than Ryanair, say passengers

Dick Everyman

Trump claims he’s ‘smarter than Yogi Bear’

Trump extends travel ban to MoronviaGerontius

Homeless men ‘cruelly taunted Cambridge student’Monarchy goes into administration

Jamsieoconnor Trump to ban Americans from America Jonny Shlep  Harvey Weinstein to run for President Tesco removes all babies from store after scare Midfield Diamond Brexit negotiations to focus on political football-related metaphors England cough and splutter against Slovenia in tribute to PM Oxbridge to admit more students with ‘thick’ West Country accents Milo Shame Brexit to be sponsored by Imodium Duchess of Cambridge ‘pregnant by Paddington Bear’ Hitler to appear on the One Show Naff Laff Prankster from school still annoying little prick Newsbiscuit Editorial Team ‘Melting Pot’ mass murderers face life in jail nickb Depp, Pitt or Damon to play Weinstein in Weinstein biopic produced by Weinstein Scottish parents urged: 'bank up' child beatings before smacking banned by law Oxbridge Ideal Home ‘is the one with Phil f**ing Spencer’s body buried in the garden’ Man suffers horrific near-death experience as deceased relatives welcome him Ronseal Crystal Palace’s Goal of the Month prize to be rolled over Simple Samples  NRA study finds ‘thoughts and prayers’ infinitely more effective than gun control Stanley Mizaru Trump refuses to meet Queen because she took a knee to lay wreath Suki4343 America shocked as automatic rifle used to kill people The Peoples Poet Driverless washing machines causing chaos on M11 Throngsman Integer shortage hits classrooms North Korea regretting alliance with Ryanair Ugi Exam Board to set new GCSE in cramming for exams May cries ‘Prank’, claiming Brexit a massive practical joke Weematt May accuses Johnson of Brexual harrassment Wrenfoe Catalonia demands £350m for NHS Harvey Weinstein apologises for James Corden ‘One-way ticket for homeless’ – just Southern Rail’s usual service Puerto Rico says Trump ‘not a real catastrophe’ Raymond Briggs apologises for ‘Snowman’ remake ‘Rural Doctors’, technically Vets Ted Heath to be next Tory leader Women banned from menstruating with blue liquid YaBasta Baron Greenback guilty of molesting Dangermouse Calls for background checks before states can buy nuclear weapons Indiana Jones 5: The Search for… what was it again? Men rejoice as women abandon Twitter Nobody expected the Spanish overreaction Spanish baffled as to why Catalans don’t like them Trigger warnings should have trigger warnings, say millenials