Unofficial Newsbiscuit Writer of the Month Competition

Deskpilot has won this month by a country mile, with 4 Front Pages, a News in Brief and a totally awesome 19 headlines.  Simonjjames and Wren have to share second place and new contributor arborio mulling is just a couple of points behind. well done to all od the above, everyone who came after them and also those who pitched but didn't get picked this month - keep submitting those subs. As usual the list of URLs to the FPs, NiBs and Features are below the leader board followed by the cartoon of the month and the full list of headlines. apepper Cleverly: "I meant it as a compliment" Government clarify not giving a sh*t means that they'll start charging for it Government urged to issue list of acceptable insults for ministers Jeremy Hunt to make smoking compulsory Sunak accidentally re-instates Braverman before sacking her arborio mulling Braverman goes on PR camping trip to demonstrate appropriate tent usage David Cameron desperately looks for nearest toilet, becomes F...

Simonjjames has had a storming month, followed by sully and Modelmaker apepper Sunak will make a decision on HS2 "after it's finished" Wave of fury as country will miss Jeremy Hunt losing his seat benjani 'I've already got Christmas sorted', claims smarmy git Benvoleo Overcrowded prisons great news for shady Tories Billclay After recent losses, Tories consider not using awful people Cara Smiffys to Release Existential Halloween Costumes for Those Suffering Quarter-Life Crises Chipchase Anger as French waste contractors announce plans to introduce annual collection schedule Builder, Colin, has hopes of quick Tesco transaction dashed Mark King's thumb to sue for mistreatment and loss of earnings Danny Soz Israeli and Hamas Leaders Anxiously Await Advice From Halfwits on Facebook Darkdorf Welcome....to Thoracic Park Deskpilot3 Armchair experts ‘just as good as opinion polls’ Dirty diesel drivers aim to sabotage London ULEZ Tories hail epic media strategy succ...

Stewart Barclay has stormed ahead this month, beating MM who had a creditable second place score.  Well done everyone who pitched this month.  As usual the cartoon of the month follows the links to the subs and is followed by the tickers for the month apepper 'Cutting down from 7 bins? Where to throw the unused one add profanity to core curriculum Keir Starmer attempts Brescuing a Brawful Brituation Restraining order to keep Government away from country Sunak trying to find worst time to have an election BillClay Journalists struggling to find metaphors for RAAC crisis Man thinks Coeliac disease is just a fad to slow down his food order Cara Sam Levinson to produce new show featuring sad, naked teenagers Woman in emotionally abusive relationship with neighbour's cat CharlieH Bank Specialising In Bad Debt And High Risk Surprises Market By Collapsing Chipchase Exclusive: Johnson tells the truth Showbiz world stunned as Ant & Dec hand back their latest NTA award Sunak: 'I...

Deskpilot has romped home this month, taking points in all categories including an impressive 19 headlines.  SteveB made a gallant attempt and Wren and eppusimuove vied for third place.  As usual all the links and the tickers are below the leaderboard, along with the cartoon of the month. AlexCrisp Woke to Bloke - Parents divorce their 'woke' children and adopt Dave apepper Government stockpiling sewage against future shortages Nasa loses contact with Jacob Rees-Mogg Protests as God introduces 5G only prayer service Sunak photographed on Thatcher's toilet Tory manifesto balance between destroying business, NHS and planet Woke cancel culture means "Dying god coming into Human flesh" missed from CBeebies singalong Yevgeny Prigozhin died after plane crashes and he lands on some bullets Billiclay Sunak describes celebration he had planned if Lionesses had won Unnecessary Sports Utility Vehicle Zone (USUVZ) to be extended to the whole of the U K cara Woman on verge of ...