Unofficial Newsbiscuit Writer of the Month Competition

 Chip has made a dash for the mid month line, followed closely by the Big O.  Jack Yates is coming in a strong third. Al OPecia  Rare unsigned copy of draft Brexit Deal to be auctioned off BangingOnAgain  Man shocked to learn he is tall after stranger points it out Chipchase  Britain has prepaid gas & electricity meters fitted to combat energy cost chaos E Viva España as Boris takes a well-earned post-party conference break in the sunshine Picard slams Kirk's latest "mission" as "little more than a publicity stunt" Three held on charges of historic crimes against music X Factor winners' reunion bash cancelled due to clerical cock-up chrisf  Kid on bike definitely going to pull a wheelie ‘Look, petrol is still 0.1p cheaper than next penny up’, notes optimist Dan.F  “Covid? Oh, yeah, whatever happened with that?” asks mainstream media Ironically early Christmas adverts just as annoying as the real thing Wave down aeroplanes if you feel unsafe, Met te...

SteveB has had a cracking month and ends up on top - again.  StewartB, however, has given Steve a run for his money and pipped Wren to the post in the bargain.  Well done to everyone who made the leaderboard and helped make NB what it is. As usual links to all the subs below the leader board and tickers are in the chat room. A. L. Shaw  #takebackcontrol means ‘please come back at double the price’, government confirms apepper  £2 billion drop in exports and other head scratchers – Daily Express Cost of Knighthood ‘way beyond means of average crook on the make’ Priti Patel welcomes opportunity to deport people on Christmas Day Ron Jenkins resigns as viewer of GB News ArthurPyke  Johnson defends Isle of Skye withdrawal BangingOnAgain  Speeding up as someone is over taking you and other ways to be a driving god Chipchase  Owner wins plaudits for blaming own dog over unprovoked attack Chrisf  Don’t trigger article 50 on my account, says Trigger Man co...

 SteveB is storming into the lead this month with stewartbarclay tying in second place with Wren.  Should be an interesting second half apepper  £2 billion drop in exports and other head scratchers – Daily Express Cost of Knighthood ‘way beyond means of average crook on the make’ Ron Jenkins resigns as viewer of GB News ArthurPyke  Johnson defends Isle of Skye withdrawal BangingOnAgain  Speeding up as someone is over taking you and other ways to be a driving god Chipchase  Owner wins plaudits for blaming own dog over unprovoked attack Chrisf  Don’t trigger article 50 on my account, says Trigger Man completing daft Facebook games shocked to be hacked TV first as pathologist gives precise time of death FlashArry  Craft brewer comes full circle with beer-flavoured bee r Ironduke  Afghans call in us airlift for colicky labrador as Taliban mortar rounds land ItsMeJack  Parents threaten to go on strike unless school uniforms are nationalised J...

 Wren has done it again, pursued by SteveB and Stew Barclay.  Some good solid efforts across the board - well done everyone.  Links to FPs, NiBs and LAs below, tickers, as usual, in the chat room. Adrian Bamforth  Locals celebrate after picture of c*ck and balls on church attributed to Banksy apepper   Ear wax “endlessly fascinating” confirms Lancashire man BangingOnAgain   £6m mound of dirt ‘absolute bargain’ confirm London’s 10k homeless UK’s most popular holiday destination 2021 revealed: the M5 southbound Thatcher posthumously awarded ‘inadvertent eco-warrior ’85’ Wedding guests bullied into giving cash not gifts with angry poem in invitation ‘We won’t let our kids have I-Pads’ and other hilarious plans of parents-to-be Chipchase  Cowell bombshell as X Factor ‘binned for good’ by ITV over sick scam claims DUP: ‘Away an catch yerselves on! We’re not irrelevantcrackpots, so we’re not!’ Shire police called as hobbit and orc violence erupts at Gre...

Wren's in the lead, with Bangin and Danny Soz slugging it out just behind him.  This month is far from over yet. Adrian Bamforth  Locals celebrate after picture of c*ck and balls on church attributed to Banksy BangingOnAgain   £6m mound of dirt ‘absolute bargain’ confirm London’s 10k homeless UK’s most popular holiday destination 2021 revealed: the M5 southbound Thatcher posthumously awarded ‘inadvertent eco-warrior ’85’ ‘We won’t let our kids have I-Pads’ and other hilarious plans of parents-to-be Chipchase  Cowell bombshell as X Factor ‘binned for good’ by ITV over sick scam claims Shire police called as hobbit and orc violence erupts at Green Dragon pub Chrisf  Post-event interviews with Olympians to include general knowledge round Quirky gesture to camera to be compulsory for 2024 Olympians, organisers confirm Danny Soz  ‘Desperate’ world health boffins seek guidance from Facebook headbanger Local dog-walker ‘gutted’ after failure to stumble upon grisly...