WOTM Oct 2021 mid month

 Chip has made a dash for the mid month line, followed closely by the Big O.  Jack Yates is coming in a strong third.




Al OPecia 

Rare unsigned copy of draft Brexit Deal to be auctioned off

BangingOnAgain 

Man shocked to learn he is tall after stranger points it out

Chipchase 

Britain has prepaid gas & electricity meters fitted to combat energy cost chaos

E Viva España as Boris takes a well-earned post-party conference break in the sunshine

Picard slams Kirk's latest "mission" as "little more than a publicity stunt"

Three held on charges of historic crimes against music

X Factor winners' reunion bash cancelled due to clerical cock-up

chrisf 

Kid on bike definitely going to pull a wheelie

‘Look, petrol is still 0.1p cheaper than next penny up’, notes optimist

Dan.F 

“Covid? Oh, yeah, whatever happened with that?” asks mainstream media

Ironically early Christmas adverts just as annoying as the real thing

Wave down aeroplanes if you feel unsafe, Met tells women

Danny Soz 

Brexiteers slowly returning to the primordial soup claims leading anthropologist

Comic Book Shocker: Batman's Grandad To Be Unveiled as Trans Lesbian

Dominic_mcg 

Cast of It Ain’t Half Hot, Mum to take charge of petrol crisis.

Channel 4 apologizes as Grand Designs couple don’t overspend or get pregnant

Gerontius 

'Ditch the private jet journeys' Prince tells climate activists

‘Full investigation would only prove if accused was guilty or not’ say MET

Jack Yates 

Fuel crisis petrol station etiquette: government issues advice

Jim Skinz 

Parklife gutlord gets revenge on fat-shaming Blur

Landfill 

Random story generator deployed at the sun

Lockjaw54 

Pepys’ diary: famine by Christmas

Medparry 

“Celebrity HGV driver” programme may solve government crisis

NickB 

Police offer advice to women on what to do while being murdered by police

Ringo Starr disowns Yellow Submarine

oshaughnessy 

Johnson & Hancock awarded Nobel prize for work on ‘not following the science'

Outrage as Taliban newspaper publishes cartoons ridiculing dead Swedish cartoonist

Scrapping traffic light system will cause carnage, warns AA

Tesla drivers overtake Audi drivers as the biggest pricks on UK roads

Sir Lupus 

Leaked papers land mayor of Cowes in freebie donkey ride scandal

SteveB 

Fears for life expectancy in Scotland triggered by Scottish Widows getting so much younger

stewartbarclay 

Zahawi tells Cabinet ‘It’s your time you’re wasting’

Stu Horgan 

Study finds half of UK adults believe crumbs that fall into toaster ‘just disappear'

Suburban Dad 

Dinosaurs: asteroid “was good for them in the long-run”

Levelling up: Boris moves entire North offshore

Throngsman 

Government planning to delay covid enquiry ‘because we’re still screwing up’

Wrenfoe 

 Conservative Conference ends up being as sexy as always

‘I’m definitely honest – trust me on that,’ says Starmer with a cheeky wink.

Leaves on line to be removed by dry ice and Legs & Co

UK to turn Covid into petrol

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Welcome to the Unofficial Newsbiscuit Writer of the Month Competition

If you've strayed onto this blog please note it is being used to keep the monthly results of the Writer's competition run unofficially by myself on behalf of the contributors to the UK's foremost satire news site, Newsbiscuit .  Newsbiscuit was created and is supported by comic genius John O'Farrell to provide a place for aspiring and proven comic writers alike to work in.  This blog is not an official organ of Newsbiscuit and any errors or omissions are mine alone, If you want to get to Newsbiscuit itself (and who wouldn't) then click here . If you fancy having a stab at writing satire (or any form of humour) then the Writer's Room is here .  Please note you have to register with the website before you can contribute.  If you want to read the guidelines for writers, please click here . Most writers write under a pseudonym, partly to be mysterious, mainly to keep their reputations intact.  Top tip - choose a name that is short and, critically, easy f...
Read more

Writer of the Month January 2024

Image
 Deskpilot is on form this month, taking 30 points followed by yours truly on 29 and eppursimouve on 28, so pretty close all round.  As usual there are links to all the Fronty Pages, News in Brief and Features below.  The cartoon  of the month follows the leaderboard and the full list of headlines below that. apepper "Stop the boats" policy expanded to include flag ship policies Beau-Jolly Vet successfully operates on three-headed dog billclay Illegal Immigration Minister arrested after complaints from Legal Migration Ministe r Vape company mascot “Mr Cuddles” denies claims of targeting children Chipchase Govt ministers doing TV round will ditch facts in favour of barefaced lies Great British Menu slammed 'pretentious, dangerous and out of control' Chrisf Man insists on calling moderately unusual events ‘absolute scenes' Deskpilot3 Labour hopes to secure landslide general election victory with celebrity MPs Public demands more honours returned Unthinkable! Policy ...
Read more

Writer of the Month March 2024

Image
Deskpilot has topped the leaderboard (again) with a brilliant set of headlines plus a not too shabby run of FPs and NiBs.  SteveB has kept the pressure on and eppursimuouve brings up a creditable third place. There's a full list of the published subs below the leaderboard with links, the cartoon of the month and a full list of headlines. apepper Galloway: "We'll take seats from labour, providing they don't stand, obviously" Garrick Club doubles down and bans men as well as women Jeremy Hunt diverts entire GDP into his own constituenc y Tory donor slams year-long waiting list for knighthood Unnamed Tory MP not under investigation by Standards Committee Ashbery Boat Race Betting (and Pooping) Guide Chipchase Irish Eyes smiling as Bono grants Pope an audience Shock: National Treasure, Tiddler, was double agent Trump: My 4-goal haul in 1966 World Cup Final will never be beaten david2468 Foreign Secretary visits Thailand to pursue stronger economic and defence ties… he...
Read more