WOTM September 2021

 SteveB is storming into the lead this month with stewartbarclay tying in second place with Wren.  Should be an interesting second half





apepper 

£2 billion drop in exports and other head scratchers – Daily Express

Cost of Knighthood ‘way beyond means of average crook on the make’

Ron Jenkins resigns as viewer of GB News

ArthurPyke 

Johnson defends Isle of Skye withdrawal

BangingOnAgain 

Speeding up as someone is over taking you and other ways to be a driving god

Chipchase 

Owner wins plaudits for blaming own dog over unprovoked attack

Chrisf 

Don’t trigger article 50 on my account, says Trigger

Man completing daft Facebook games shocked to be hacked

TV first as pathologist gives precise time of death

FlashArry 

Craft brewer comes full circle with beer-flavoured beer

Ironduke 

Afghans call in us airlift for colicky labrador as Taliban mortar rounds land

ItsMeJack 

Parents threaten to go on strike unless school uniforms are nationalised

Joanne Starkie 

Proof of not being Michael Gove now required for entry to Scottish nightclubs

Newsbiscuit Editorial Team

ITV 2 in highbrow archaeology show shock

Told you so, say Aztec priests

oshaughnessy 

Entire UK placed on suicide watch after Abba release new album

rogerg 

City of London promises to re-wild itself

ron cawleyoni 

Now that’s what I call dancing… Gov, vol 1.

Sir Lupus 

Indian team admits: ‘we just didn’t fancy a week in Manchester’

StanleyMizaru 

Raab says Afghan refugee talks in Ibiza are ‘not another holiday’

SteveB 

Chanel gives up number 5 for Cristiano Ronaldo

Channel 4 smashes world record for getting interviewees to blub

‘Covid passports would be unfair’ says smug b*’tard who already has covid pass

Gross incompetence saves UK from catastrophic implosion

HGV test will scrap reversing, braking and steering

Things Prince Andrew is sweatier than

Urgent recall announced due to electrical fault in 8.2 million deadly Cheerios

stewartbarclay 

All work and no pension makes Therese a dull girl

Convicted terrorist takes precaution of being white

Emma Raducanu’s success ‘all down to Piers Morgan’

Priti Patel – the face that sank a thousand ships

Rashford not sure which white cabinet minister he spoke to

Tories: ‘burn down country, claim National Insurance money’

What to do in a ‘bag for life or death’ situation

Thatwasbeast 

Man downs three-course lunch by 10:30am

Throngsman 

Covid over as nearly 800 people die in a week

Titus 

Britain withdraws from Isle of Wight

Wrenfoe 

Afghans can stay says Home Office. Check the small print say Windrush generation

Covid welcomes relaxation of restrictions on covid

Jab for 12-15’s will protect against pinch punch first of the month

Joe Rogan to fight covid MMA style

Neil & GB News split. Neil to get custody of Brexit

Smoke alarms on space station triggered by alien bacon

Split in fabric of time causes Abba to reappear


Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Welcome to the Unofficial Newsbiscuit Writer of the Month Competition

If you've strayed onto this blog please note it is being used to keep the monthly results of the Writer's competition run unofficially by myself on behalf of the contributors to the UK's foremost satire news site, Newsbiscuit .  Newsbiscuit was created and is supported by comic genius John O'Farrell to provide a place for aspiring and proven comic writers alike to work in.  This blog is not an official organ of Newsbiscuit and any errors or omissions are mine alone, If you want to get to Newsbiscuit itself (and who wouldn't) then click here . If you fancy having a stab at writing satire (or any form of humour) then the Writer's Room is here .  Please note you have to register with the website before you can contribute.  If you want to read the guidelines for writers, please click here . Most writers write under a pseudonym, partly to be mysterious, mainly to keep their reputations intact.  Top tip - choose a name that is short and, critically, easy for me
Read more

WOTM May 2023

Image
Sully has stormed ahead this month, followed cautiously by SteveB and modelmaker.  New writer cara has come in at a credible fifth place.  As usual, links to all the FPs, NiBs and Features (AKA Left Alerts) below the leaderboard, followed by the cartoon of the month, then the ticker list, which contains Deskpilot's awesome 20 tickers amongst many others apepper Government celebrate as travel delays not caused by Brexit Public consider letting Penny Mordaunt continue as sole Conservative MP Benvoleo YouTuber accused of intentionally crashing plane headhunted for senior Government role billiclay Government creates new fear: Nano Boats Monopoly introduces Get out of Speeding Penalty Card TransPennine Express defend fluid timetables and non-binary concepts about arrival Cara Area man unveils covert method of ogling female co-workers Boys' Exposure to Romance Movies Starts at an Alarming Young Age, Reveals Study JK Rowling axes Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw from new adaptation; claims &q
Read more

WOTM April 2023

Image
Well, Myke has only gone and done it again, and well deserved too as his Tucker Carlson sub is probably an all time high read sub on this version of NB!SteveB and Wren also gave a good go at the WOTM title. apepper Conservatives want people to stop talking about last 13 years billiclay Brexit saves Britain from Europe murder train Government Completely Changes the Meaning of the Word Exciting Mongers of the world after another thing to monger Putin looking at moving to a Bungalow Chipchase Camelot and Waitrose unveil new ‘prize partnership’ Fears grow for 80s something couple Ada and Stanley "missing" in Hollister Government named as sponsor for Ant & Dec's new show: "I'm a UK Diplomat... Get Me Out Of Here" Leicester man makes 7000 mile round-trip to collect Friday night curry Rev Green set to be freed as new evidence points to shocking miscarriage of justic e Stormzy moves to distance himself from Trump Chrisf Man inexplicably carrying round absolutely
Read more