Unofficial Newsbiscuit Writer of the Month Competition

Defo Myke's month this time, trouncing the opposition.  Titus and Gero had a good month too, just not good enough to challenge Myke at full throttle Adrian Bamforth Watergate hotel franchise unable to keep up with gate-themed scandals apepper  Brexit delays import of turd polish Johnson sets out timetable for U-turns Trump replaces lawyer with cat Bonjonelson  Covid vaccine withdrawn after manufacturers forget to put the autism in Chipchase  Boris: ‘reports of snow chaos greatly exaggerated’ Fake covid vaccine ‘not lovely jubbly’ rule magistrates Chrisf  All government covid decisions to be based on Matt Damon films, says Hancock Misuse of the word ‘staycation’ becomes criminal offence DavidH  EU vaccine retreat forced by Michael Gove’s hippos Focus on data, not dates, unless the data clashes with Matt Hancock’s holiday Footballer ordered to go shopping for following covid restrictions Government commission statue of Matt Hancock to topple I’ll wait for the...

 Myke is leading the pack this month and is looking pretty unassailable  - or is he? apepper  Brexit delays import of turd polish Johnson sets out timetable for U-turns Trump replaces lawyer with cat Bonjonelson  Covid vaccine withdrawn after manufacturers forget to put the autism in Chipchase  Boris: ‘reports of snow chaos greatly exaggerated’ Fake covid vaccine ‘not lovely jubbly’ rule magistrates Chrisf  All government covid decisions to be based on Matt Damon films, says Hancock Misuse of the word ‘staycation’ becomes criminal offence DavidH  EU vaccine retreat forced by Michael Gove’s hippos Footballer ordered to go shopping for following covid restrictions I’ll wait for the vaccine made from Matt Hancock’s tears’, say Brexiteers Deceangli  All working-class housing to be made of paraffin wax by 2030 Boris’s vaccine shame: none of his chums profited Twitter user stayed silent because he had ‘nothing useful to contribute’ Dominic_mcg  Fan...

 New year and a new WOTM.  Old hand but recent returner ID has pushed hard this month and has hit every category on the way.  Dece has given ID a good run for his money though, with 6 front pages and 9 NiBs.  Wren, as usual, had a strong go too and Max Stars hasn't had too shabby a month. Links to the FPs, NiBs and LAs below the leader board and ticker, as usual, in the chat room A.Mantra   ‘Not now Joe,’ pleads weary nation AlkaXS  Homeschooling dad is quids-in after becoming a multi-academy schools trust antharrison  Biden announces big plans for new White House curtains apepper  Biden announces huge cutback in prostitute budget Benvoleo  Rapturous fishermen sell up and move into lucrative nativity trails business Chipchase  Pressure on NHS intensifies as tests show new ‘Boris jab’ 100% effective Rees-Mogg announces he will compete in 2021 Tour de France Dan.F  Act like you’ve got the virus and drive to Durham, suggests government...

ID has made a fantastic comeback after a couple of years in the wilderness, heading up the first half of this  month's competition.  Max and Wren, however, are looking like they might try to take IDs lead off him, given half a chance. A.Mantra   ‘Not now Joe,’ pleads weary nation antharrison  Biden announces big plans for new White House curtains Chipchase  Pressure on NHS intensifies as tests show new ‘Boris jab’ 100% effective Rees-Mogg announces he will compete in 2021 Tour de France Dan.F  Act like you’ve got the virus and drive to Durham, suggests government Trump plans to pardon himself for all the crimes he didn’t comm it US politicians pleased to see populace taking such an interest in legislative process DavidH  Donald Trump’s Avengers assemble to fight Democrobots Football club cafe loses Michelin star Middle-age men reminisce about non-essential car journeys of yesteryear Deceangli  £30 food packs awarded Nobel Prize for economics BBC t...

 Hat tips Tickers Left Alerts NiB FP WOTY