WOTM July 2023
SteveB has had a storming month, closely followed by stewartbarclay. Deskpilot3 has come a close third. Cartoon of the month below the links and the ticker list for the month below that.
apepper
GBNews presenter "is secret Tory MP" shame
Government to stockpile headless chickens for next crisis
Tory MP who plans to stand at next election asked "What are you thinking?"
billiclay
Brand styles that all supermarkets must copy or face chaos and bankruptcy
cara
Mattel to release new Piers Morgan Barbie
Rich boy makes sure to emphasise how hard his dad works
Chipchase
Amazon's Alexa named as 'other woman' in groundbreaking love triangle
BBC cooking show slammed 'pretentious and dangerous' by Fire Chief
Grimsby man tells of harrowing ten-hour ordeal with Bear Grylls
Grovelling to Royals to be rationed following recent high demand
'I was King in another world' claims Man with a van
Unconfirmed reports of clue spotted in Downing Street
Danny Soz
Internet To Be Shut Down For Removal of Giant Pubic Hairball
Deskpilot3
'I’m not lazy, I’m just re-wilding my garden'
'Just Stop Fun plans summer of protest
eppursimouve
AI-based app for when famous people die
Call centre "not experiencing unusually high call volumes"
Man who occasionally gives to charity wondering why things haven’t been sorted out yet
Newspaper mocked on Twitter for reporting what’s happening on Twitter as journalism
FlashArry
Bibby Stockholm : the welcoming speech in full
TfL introduce new draconian advertising policy
Hokeyloki
Rishi: we've negotiated a better deal with the Atmosphere
Jack the Quipper
Tourists flocking to Death Valley complain about lack of signage advising of the danger to health
James Pluside
Johnson worried about "Happy Birthday, from Dad" WhatsApp messages being counted
jeremynh
England cricket selectors ditch humans for pack of cross-breed dogs
Lords cricket ground prepares for a second night of riots
Widget-maker's reputation "will never recover from this," the nation is told
JimSkinz
Liz Truss writes surprise musical tribute to Sinead O'Connor
Lockjaw
Keith Stammer flummoxed by beverage question
McDabble
Entire pod of 55 Conservative MPs dies after mass stranding on beach
'I don't believe in climate modelling, says Lord Chill, and nobody can explain it
Midfield Diamond
More Brits inconvenienced by Greeks having homes destroyed
Modelmaker
Doctor apprenticeships to begin with use of file, marking out and drilling machine
Future Ashes matches at Old Trafford to be held between groundsmen
Ofsted joins teachers in being unhappy with Starmer speech
SledgehammersЯus announce largest ever government order
Tory plan to help with winter fuel costs by bottling continental hot air
Newsbiscuit
Child Fagans Run Riot in Grantham
Raggers
All BBC presenters to be replaced by A.I.
Your August Horoscope, by Toxic Meg.
Your July Horoscope, by Toxic Meg.
Robowurzel
Police called in after BBC accusations
Sir Lupus
UK to be towed to Pacific under terms of new trade deal
Sketchly
OED R&D jobs safe for another year
SteveB
All future government policies to be revealed with a flourish from under a silver cloche
Arse cheeks of the Virgin Mary appear in Peach Melba dessert
Artificial Intelligences currently going through 'really into Take That' phase
BBC acted swiftly and decisively to suspend presenter within month
Next door's cat telling everyone all those sh*ts in their gardens were done by you personally
Planet just cleansing itself like a 500 degree self-cleaning oven
Plot of Inception hailed 'visionary' as Uxbridge folds over on itself
Prigozhin advised to try using the A303 next time
Take Back Control regulation sees return to supermarket aisles full of musty old people food
'You don't need a degree to be a Prime Minister as incompetent as me'
stewartbarclay
Cartoon of the Month: Shaun the sheep denies being the BBC star in the "cash for photos" scandal by Raggers
A.L.Shaw
Charity begins at home, confirms family of Captain Tom
Adrian Bamforth
Martin Lewis expressed disgust at deep fake video - or did
he?
Tony Bennett's heart flown to San Francisco
apepper
Abraham Lincoln endorses BBC deep fake detector
bigbadbob
Oxo shares crumble on stock market
Prince makes front pages again in quest for privacy
Sunak and Biden arrive at NATO summit separately, so people
don’t think they’re shagging
Deskpilot3
Airport drop off fees now exceed the average flight cost
Apple farmer charged with insider trading
Aspartame manufacturer accused of offering sweeteners
BBC launches 'The Masked Presenter'
Biscuit tester makes snap judgement
Break-in at ironmongers pays off in spades
Doctor says man who thinks he's a rifle can be discharged
Greece & Italy likely to miss CO2 emissions targets
Inexperienced fisherman 'floundering'
Mortgage rates go through the roof
NATO-lite: Ukraine only protected at off peak times
Paris river swimming 'in Seine'
Putin goes against the grain
Rhodes melting in the heat
Sheep farm targeted by ram raiders
Strippers strike: no end in sight
Temperamental jelly artiste throws a wobbly
Thor claims other superheroes have stolen his thunder
Tour de France introduces cycling through fire stage
Trans teacher complains about straight A student
Warring beauticians make up
Warring beauticians make up
Dick Everyman
Female BBC presenter ‘secret crack-whore’ claims Sun
Suella Braverman: The face that launched a thousand barges
docholiday
Cabinet Maker gets hammered but still nails it
Farmer forced to retire after calf injury
Michael Gove to create more homes in city centre doorways
Hokeyloki
Champion organ trafficker says it's the taking parts that
counts
More Nominative Determinism as Phoenix about to burst into
flames
New Twitter logo is an unknown quantity
Thorpe Park Ghost Train strike - Skeleton service only
Whisky, vinegar and wholemeal bread lorries in malty vehicle
collision
irrelevant
Women's World Cup kicks off with a bang!
Jack the Quipper
Doubts about climate change finally dispelled as even Wales
catches fire
England lose 3 wickets overnight as "No one was
standing next to them"
US finally defeats Vietnam
jeremynh
Nation commemorates 75 years of "NHS in crisis"
headlines
jim Skinz
Archaeologists discover lost Ancient Greek clothes shop of
Matalantis
Astrophysicist retires so he can bend more time with his
family
Bank refuses to give Garibaldi a currant account
Foot fetishist caught in flagrante de lick toe
Inflation a boost to bouncy castle industry
McDonald's tells managers NOT to show trainees the gropes
Tourist who carved his name on Colosseum 'will have
vengeance in this life or the next'
mcdabble
Ashes fizzle out in rain
Conservative party prepares mass resignation letter as Boris
phone code nearly cracked
Driverless car stolen by joy-passenger
Horror as Tony Blair now infecting half of all news stories
Jaded bricklayer decides to throw in the trowel
Lord Frost says failure of Thames Barrier 'Likely to be
beneficial for UK'
NHS patients told to show more gratitude
Mick Turate
Chris Pincher convicted of nominative determinism
Day two of the Wimbledon Rain Festival
EU criticised for referring to the Isle of Wight as la Isla
de Blanca
Evri to introduce "Can't find the body" funerals
Modelmaker
Anaesthetist cancels dinner party as he has people coming
round
Cabinet Office demand exorcist at the unlocking of Johnson
phone
Health Secretary says NHS whistleblowers are preventing
patients from getting any sleep
Labour would pension Larry the cat off if they won power,
claim desperate Tories
Moron spoils ballot paper by putting cross in Conservative
box
New North Sea oil rigs are needed to house asylum seekers
oshaughnessy
Djokovic unable to escape from Alcaraz
Raggers
Sunak will burn midnight oil to ensure UK meets net zero
target
Technical glitch causes BBC weather app to give accurate
weather forecast
ron cawleyoni
Banks to become a closed shop
Kylie Minogue to take up residency in La La La La La Las
Vegas
Nigel Farage calls for return of the Tufty Savings Club
Sir Lupus
Bastille Day reenactment rehearsals going well this year
Crowdfunder to help Farage keep Coutts account raises 63p
SteveB
A.I. deepfake video of Jacob Rees-Mogg more believable than
the real thing
Sailor unable to carry out duties due to anchor on forearm
Sea is now unclosed, confirms Dominic Raab
stewartbarclay
Stonehenge tunnel 'could only be used at peak solstice'
Usual Suspect found not guilty
Sully
BBC to meet Conservative Party in ‘Celebrity Nonce’ Final
Throngsman
BBC presenters start #notmetoo campaign
Titus
Hopeful teens shower BBC presenters with explicit photos,
hoping to collect £35,000
Innocent prisoner has bill for board & lodging increased
because of rise in energy prices
Julie London song 'Crimea River' replaces 'Bridge Over
Troubled Water' in Russian hit parade
Lion seen in Germany may just have been on Pride march
Screenwriters demand payment for setting out their demands
Zelenskyy invites Just-Stop-Oil protesters to come &
block traffic on Kerch bridge
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