WOTM Feb 2023
Technically Myke wins again, and by a goodly margin, but the Wren rule states the same writer cannot win WOTM two months in a row, so the honour goes to SteveB who has also fielded a great run of subs.
It's been a good month again and the links to the subs can be found below the leaderboard, as can the full list of tickers.
apepper
1922 Committee behind Cuban Revolution
Grand Jury report suggests Trump may have said something truthful
Proud alien parents want "Stonehenge back to pin on fridge door"
Radioactive capsule found after unusual concentration of superheroes detected
Reality distances itself from Liz Truss
Thérèse Coffey links to "big turnip" revealed
Tory right torn between destroying economy and making people miserable
Chrisf
Dominic Raab secures lead role in new sitcom - Fawlty Powers
Petrol pumps to be recalibrated to show contribution to oil company profits
Scott's Antarctic failure 'caused by Fitbit obsession'
Stevie Wonder’s part-time lover wins equal rights
Deskpilot3
Full list of sensitively edited books by Roald Legume-Stew
Dominic_mcg
Teenage boy really does have a girlfriend at another school
eppursimuove
Corbsky found murdered with ice-axe in head
“Happy Country” season finale grips nation
FlashArry
Isle of Wight offers Ukraine 'unlimited moist towelettes'
Hokeyloki
Liz Truss to put the 'disco' back into 'disconnection'
Ian Searle
Emerson, Lake & Palmer lament the lack of Brain Salad Surgery available in the shops
Jack the Quipper
That Liz Truss Telegraph “essay” summarised
Lockjaw
Rishi changes his leadership style
mcdabble
Builder Bob ordered to demolish home by Lord of the Rings lawyers
NATO denies fighter jets 'too high-performance to be useful in Ukraine'
Scotland Reels as Sturgeon Makes A Splash
Midfield Diamond
Man whose dog ate Cup Final tickets lives cliché-filled life
Myke
2nd century Roman sex toy may have belonged to Silvio Berlusconi
Brian Blessed to play Gareth Southgate
British Gas and Kim Jong-un bid for Manchester United
Casualties mount as Russia launches breakaway Eurovision
China calls for peace talks between Rebel Scum and Darth Vader
Johnson plots to fat-shame Sunak
Kate Forbes condemns same sex clergy
Luxury flat owner on toilet wins Turner Prize
'Oot Nanny!' A roundup of this morning's papers
Panicking shoppers restricted to three mince pies and a turkey
Prince Andrew Lloyd Fibber music to feature at Coronation
Rees-Mogg breaks into oligarch mansion to fit prepayment meter
We stand with you! Zelensky promises more salad for UK
Raggers
More money saving tips, from financial guru Martin Clueless
Your February Horoscope, by Toxic Meg
Robowurzel
Following the Fawlty Towers revival, Netflix announces an On The Buses reboot
Isle of Wight condemns ‘provocative’ balloon airspace violation
Sarah Tipper
Shoppers questioning if fizzy grapefruit is nice or not?
stewartbarclay
Sunak to focus military spending on Culture Wars
Totally Tropical Waste of Column Inches
SteveB
Biggest heist in history: Police steal 200,000 Cadbury's Creme Egg jokes from each other
British Gas still hopeful at the Utility of the Year awards
Chinese balloon blown out of proportion
Government urges public to eat rats to beat cost of living crisis
Owls not as wise as they make out, claims wild goose
Pubic lice accuse head lice of spying
Rival A.I. systems in love after discovery of Carol Vorderman
W*nk bank interest rates increased
Sully
Escaped teaspoons brief detective
Hot air balloon rides across the USA: free missile with every flight
MPs to be required to ‘sign in’ once a fortnight like dole claimants
Sunak’s new policy: Levelling Down
Sydalg
Church of England to replace Communion with human sacrifice
Throngsman
97% of Russian army in Ukraine - hmm, what's NATO got on this weekend?
Asylum seekers relieved to be spared Pontins
Conservatives identify the last safe seat
Consumers 'relieved' that Shell has weathered the financial storm
El Salvador mega prison slammed on TripAdvisor
Hospital beds will be self assembly, says government
MPs hoping to get big, gold medals for lying
Now MPs want public sector to mirror pay rise
Research concludes Russian elite 'prone to falls from really high buildings'
Zelensky welcomes minute's silence, but really wants claps
Titus
The NewsBiscuit guide to guides
Wales 'never really been particularly interested in rugby'
Urbanhermit
Turnips to form political party
Walter Eagle
British middle-classes realising food shortages are no longer a 'working class' thing
HS2: ministers to cut services and speeds to drive down cost
MPs' hypocrisy achieves levels even jets can't reach
Shakespeare writes to explain the delay in Boris Johnson's book about him
Wrenfoe
Apocalypse Horsemen send 'Save the Date' cards
Are you a liberal? Your guide to black-face Hitler cosplay
China to float giant spy-cake over US
Fury as Nicola Sturgeon retires to England
Marriage saved by turning mobile brightness to max
Number of children sad about strikes, officially at zero
Offensive content removed from Roald Dahl, leaving 400 blank pages
Sherlock fails to solve riddle of what TV wire goes where
Zelensky demands own spin-off series
Headlines AKA tickers
apepper
Children lobby
supermarkets to ration sprouts
Church of England
agree to bless sneezes
Thérèse Coffey
confirms "you are what you eat" theory
Deskpilot3
Airships to replace
the Birmingham-Leeds leg of HS2
British Gas
prepayment meter found on Chinese spy balloon
Bunged up man
annoyed at having to pay congestion charge
DUP says protocol
deal must pass its ninety seven tests
Ekland wins Britt
award
Fashionable folk
don't want to be called glitterati any more..
Final Die Hard film
will be a documentary
Man pulled from the
rubble after being trapped for 9 months in the Tory party
Matt Hancock's
security doubled after spate of tool thefts
Plasterer issues
invoice for surfaces rendered
Price of fusilli
'spiralling'
Prince Andrew
evicted from Big Brother's house
Rees-Mogg shows off
his green credentials on his electric penny farthing
Rishi sends
Zelenski several pallets of Red Bull
Ukraine and Biden
both surprised by visit
Dick Everyman
Sunak re-examines
his green card status
dominic_mcg
Harry: Christ, no,
it definitely wasn’t her!
Junior doctors to
strike for 72 hours but will complete the rest of their shift
Hokeyloki
Western region
flood analysis: Exe and Wye are unknowns
ian searle
Police Dogs only
able to catch criminals with one arm fatter than the other
Jack the Quipper
Hit the floor.
We're British Gas engineers. Point at your meter cupboard, now!
jim Skinz
British Transport
Police advice during strikes: “See It, Say It, Sort It Yourself”
Defibrillator - The
Musical wins “best revival” at theatrical awards
Mystery sphere on
Japanese beach is ball from Harry Kane's World Cup penalty
Roald Dahl TV
series renamed Tales of the Expected
Lockjaw
Cowboy plumber gets
poor rating on DripAdvisor
MADJEZ
New EU deal:
Britain swaps Northern Ireland for Italy's tomatoes
Struggling with
bills? Do more consulting work for tobacco industry says Thérèse Coffey
mcdabble
Biden Tries Out
Free Pensioner's Euro Train Pass
Sturgeon off the
hook
Modelmaker
Cockney fruit
farmers warn of imminent stairs shortages
Man who got a
rejection letter from the university of origami, not sure what to make of it
Myke
Call centres and
hotel lifts observe minute silence for Burt Bacharach
Netanyahu to host
Homes Under the Hammer
Raab will not
‘totally f**king lose it’ if found guilty of bullying
Padmire
Brexiteers point
out sale of "Going Out of Business" signs have shot up since Brexit
peterg
Sleeping Beauty
woke, fumes Daily Mail
Raggers
2 workers rescued
after fall into chocolate vat. Their condition is described as ‘delicious’
robindbourgeoisie
King Andrew
'distraught' at mysterious death of entire royal family
robowurzel
Black Sabbath The
Ballet to premiere in Birmingham in September
rogerg
Struggling with
procrastination? Read our helpful article tomorrow
ron cawleyoni
British Gastards
sinnick
Raquel Welch goes
T!ts Up
Sketchly
China's world
bubble-gum champion murdered by US Airforce
Sunak confirms that
short trousers make him feel like a giant
steveb
'Actually, I prefer
non-believers - they're less needy' confirms God
Chinese balloon
blown out of proportion
If you see Sid,
tell 'im British Gas have broken into his home
Latin at 9am, Drama
at 10am, Double Maths at 11am: lessons have been learned
Nude photos sale:
100% off
Thieves who stormed
rough pub to steal all the beer 'got both barrels'
Vegetable shortages
just the tip of the iceberg, says NFU
WeBuyAnyTomato.com
attacks public with most annoying killer TV ad yet
stewartbarclay
30p Lee against
death penalty for breaking Ministerial Code
Tomato shortage
caused by people hoarding them to throw at Tories
Throngsman
US worried about
safety of old man and house suspended below balloon
Titus
Britain not
teetering on brink of bankruptcy, merely enjoying a 'special financial
situation'
Cardiologist
declines to advise on repair of buttoned woollen garment
Diminutive PM fears
being de-platformed
DUP says 'No!
Never! Now, what's the question?'
New pill will stop
men getting mice pregnant
New streaming
service 'Netfix' shows trawlermen repairing their equipment
New website
'Tipadvisor' advises restaurants of good & bad customers
She sells Shell
shares sheltered off-shore
Tories hope party
chairmanship is now in safe hands
Underconstruction
Mississippi
self-identities as Misterssippi
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