WOTM May 2022
Well, time to cast clouts, apparently. Wren has led the pack most of the month, b ut SteveB has given him a good run for his money. Cartoonist of the month is below the sub links and the ticker list for May is at the bottom of the post
Adrian Bamforth
Nearly all of John Peel's record collection turns out to be crap
apepper
Boris whistled in admiration at "I watched porn by accident" claim
Climate scientists all resign after listening to a bloke in the pub
Johnson to change deadly sins system to five
Lee Anderson's guide to solving the cost of living crisis
Tories under pressure to "keep scandals fresh"
Transport for London turn down heating on buses to reduce crowding
Chipchase
BBC will outsource future drama projects to Acton am-dram group
Bill and Ben reboot in jeopardy as one half of iconic duo goes missing
Exclusive: Micro submarine expedition team embarks on search for Boris Johnson's integrity
Extraordinary scenes in Sheffield as Trump refuses to accept defeat in World Snooker Final
Two pound coin dropped down the side of your driver's seat continues to goad you
Chrisf
#ColUmbro and #CherLochHomes - the next celebrity whodunnit trials revealed
8 annoying comments to make on a Facebook community post
Boris: My Freedom Bus Pass will solve housing crisis too
New Lloyd Webber musical to examine work in the gig economy
Rebekah Vardy lands job producing tabloid epigrams
Sue Gray report to focus on occasions where there no parties at Number 10
Tory MPs to all do ‘Tim Nice but Dim’ impression
dogular
Kim Jong-un in great victory over zooplankton
Dominic_mcg
“No mow May” activist “just a lazy git”, says wife.
Eppursimuove
Boy priest travelling to India thought to be in danger from monkeypox
FlashArry
PM's integrity level "now a negative number"
Gerontius
Monkeypox a Brexit dividend’ insists Rees-Mogg
Pinewood Studios in talks with Neil Parish over new 'Carry On…' script
Vandals criticised over time it took to deface Thatcher memorial
Granger
Ian Searle
Owner of Mr Benn's fancy dress shop forced to rent out empty premises by government
James_doc
Piers Morgan going door to door trying to offend people
Lockjaw
Evil White Witch to annex England
Horse riders to carry poo-bags when on public roads
"I was groomed by Prince Charles", claims Yucca plant
Weird sisters caught producing unlicensed HRT potion
Midfield Diamond
Brave footballer comes out as intelligent (newsbiscuit.com)
Modelmaker
Cost of living crisis - PM and Chancellor are both on the same page
Crash test dummies to become non-gender specific
Exclusive - Sue Gray forced to complete her report in Coventry monastery cloister
Fukushima fish deal a boost for HAZMAT kitchenwear industry
Government to rely on party donors to help with Jubilee bunting shortage
Jack Monroe to get BBC cooking series
PM dumbs down ministerial code to make it more comprehensible to himself
Radio Hams of Spike Island in Widnes broadcast "Russian warship to go F@ck
Sir Graham Brady seeks internet advice about his phone
Newsbiscuit Editorial Team
Sue Gray to produce report into Sue Gray report
Sarah Tipper
Turmeric under unreasonable pressure to fix all ailments
Woman Says She May Have Opened Crisps By Mistake In Public
SimonJMr
Dominic Raab 100% claymation claim Aardman
Russian advance hindered by faulty Sat Nav
Sir Lupus
Britain to cripple Russia using management consultancy services
SteveB
£1,000 Gucci umbrella doesn't even assassinate Bulgarian dissidents
Boris Johnson ambushed by cake, wine, fizz, spirits, party-goers, strippers and a donkey. Six times.
Boris Johnson's plan to solve cost of living crisis is bold new initiative called 'Herd Immunity'
Computer hacker 'spoofs' Conservative Party 1922 Committee inbox
'Fatberg in central London clogging up the system found to be Boris Johnson
Government passes emergency law to prevent poor people inhaling calories off the top of cake
Long, cold, silent, breezy fart on toilet this morning still a mystery
Primary source of fog still Bonnie Tyler pop video from the 1980s' confirms Met Office
Steve Blair
Liz Truss causes diplomatic incident by trying to scrap northern Iceland Protocol
New Doctor Who 'too thin, or something' complain racists
Prince Charles slays Parliament with “Zhuzhed-up” edit of Queen’s speech
stewartbarclay
Boris ‘playing 4-D Eurovision chess’
Coleen Rooney cast as new 'Sherlock'
Dogs at Polling Stations mortified by Tory owners
LinkedIn just wants to be LovedIn
Moominpappa tools up as Finland joins NATO
Shelves shelved as man's DIY project no match for snooker
Starmer had a curry, a pint and a car park straightener
Sydalg
Great works of literature nipped in the bud
Throngsman
Government want to send Doctor Who back to Gallifrey
Her Royal Highness, Sue Gray, admits to meeting with Boris Johnson on a number of occasions
House of Lords to relocate to Wetherspoons
Lord Lebedev identified as third man in flowerpot ring
Polling staff request dogs tied to railings outside of polling stations are removed
Soldiers agree to 20% pay cut to work from home
Tractor porn is NOT going to be legalised, says government
Zelensky delighted about UK local election results
Titus
Audience Flocks To Concert By Singing Quartet Who Didn't Actually Bother To Turn Up Themselves
Kurt Zouma's cat 'taking it one game at a time'
urbanhermit
Singing can raise spirits says MP
Walter Eagle
Johnson Creates Two New Regulators -OffHead and OffT*ts - In Whitehall Shake-up
Wrenfoe
Amber Heard: Acting Tips for beginners and litigators
Boris fined in guineas but his bribes still in metric
Boris Johnson to renounce ‘human form’
Child gives bad book review to adult who refuses to do all the voices
Cost of living crisis solved with one quick trip to Las Vegas
George RR Martin to finish Sue Gray report
Next Pirelli Calendar to be based on Mayan Calendar
One Tory MP can feed a family of five for a year
Russia forced to adopt the Pink Pound
Starmer & Johnson forced to resign over ‘sh$t parties’
'Sue Gray concludes: It's not a party without a conga line
TV detective to tackle teen graffiti threat
Ukraine crisis is ‘Peace Avoidance’ not 'Peace Evasion'
World’s largest gunrunner oddly concerned that we might not buy their guns
Cartoons
The Cartoons editor Lockjaw, who again has posted a huge amount of cartoons this last month, has recused himself from being chosen as cartoonist of the month (COTM), but has agreed to cast the vote for the winning cartoon.
The nominations are:
Modelmaker
A much maligned man
speaks out in his defence
Bookmaker donates
his Lester Piggott voodoo doll to Jockey Club
Charles prepares
for part in Eastenders jubilee street party
Collecting the
rosettes
Cost of living
crisis becomes reflected in Facebook posts
Dentist shortage: a
gap that needs filling
Eurovision results
preview
Find the cheese in
Johnson's fridge, when the fat bastard works from home competition
Flaw found in
advice to live off essentials
Jamming as much as
Bob Marley
Nation cuts back on
colour as cost of living crisis bites
North Korea just
like the west
Outside the polling
station
Public reaction to
result of Operation Hillman investigation
Rees Mogg
inadvertently damns Johnson with faint praise
René Magritte's
view of Partygate
Resignation over
Kabul withdrawal?
Russia finds itself
with big shoes to fill
Spain braces for
extraordinary heatwave amid cost of living crisis
Starmer considers
position
Starmer has it all
under control
Supermarkets to
introduce new stickers
Tory MP gives
cooking lesson
Tory venue to
discuss Boris Johnson's future as leader
Venus and Jupiter
conjunction
Young Conservatives
tell party what to do with PM
SteveB
Bank of England
changes interest rates
Critics not sure if
Jackson Pollock artwork has been 'caked'
Dry humour
'Pro-life' US
Supreme Court considers rights of fetus to bear arms
Sausage party
See the asset strip
at the new Vegas
Vintage wine or
vintage vine fridge?
Titus
Scandals yet to come
And the winner is...
Modelmaker with 'Supermarkets to introduce new stickers'
Tickers
ChrisF
Charles forced to say 'My mum says...' at start of every Queens' Speech sentence
Deskpilot3
Number 10 rejects
calls to install a defib machine
Old folk congregating
in Iceland to keep warm
Queen says yes to
Charles and Camilla in Eastenders and no to Andrew doing Love Island
UK signs
prestigious trade agreement with Alderney
William Hartnell
unlikely to return for Dr Who special show
Dominic_mcg
As monkeypox cases
increase, the government awards £1 billion banana contracts to Tory donors
Invasion of Ukraine
blamed on "massive ticket fraud"
Pensioner climbs
Mount Everest but can't remember why he went up there
Rail workers vote
to strike. "How will we tell?" say commuters
Remains of scary
prehistoric creature discovered on a plinth in Grantham
Royal Eastenders:
Charles pays the Mitchell brothers to sort out Andrew
FlashArry
Queen in new "one will turn up if one can be arsed" row
Gerontius
Households to get £400 to pay for £800 price increases says Tory chancellor
Ian Searle
Brazilian Beauticians Unhappy about No Mow May
Jack the Quipper
France smirks as UK announces only 71 cases of sexually-transmittable Monkeypox
Jim Skinz
Jailed conman
challenges Boris Becker to game of fixed doubles
Monkeypox vaccine
to cost £500
Lockjaw
Priti Patel calls
upon immigrants to 'stay out, to help out'
WAG trial will be
settled in extra time and then penalties
Mick Turate
Boris Johnson claims he was ambushed by several bottles of wine as well a cake
Midfield Diamond
PM vows Rwanda plan will not be spoiled by humanitarians
Modelmaker
Age UK announces details of 2022 Glastonbury festival lineup
oshaughnessy
Depp claims Heard
immunity
Government promises
bank holiday cancellation if Queen snuffs it next Wednesday
Government solves
cost of living crisis - take a shower in the rain
Nazanin forced to
sign confession that Boris did a great job as foreign secretary
Paul L
Main takeaways for Government from Partygate are kebabs and Chinese
Robowurzel
Queen 'pulls out' - an object lesson for Boris
ron cawleyoni
Chelsea Pensioners to be taken over by LA Coffin Dodgers
SimonJMr
Music shop thief loots low hanging flutes
Sir Lupus
Queen snubs parliament for horse show "because quality of horseshit is better"
SteveB
'Burning 91,000
civil servants would save the Exchequer a fortune on energy bills' claims
Rees-Mogg
First Crossrail
train arrives bang on time - only 4 years late
Queen to miss state
opening of parliament because Brian May is on badger watch
Wedding reception
dance-off final chaos as judge declares 'May the best man win'
stewartbarclay
Queen to be
projected on Commons 'like Gail Porter'
Truss to scrap NI
as 'It's more Troubles than it's worth'
Sydalg
Guns go silent
across Ukraine as Wagatha Christie verdict is announced
Home Office paints
"Welcome to Rwanda" across Cliffs of Dover
Old couple charged
with indecency say bus only place warm enough to have sex
Vandals rush to
deface Thatcher statue while they can still afford eggs
Throngsman
Potters Bar bus fires: bus replacement service deemed 'unlikely'
Titus
Fruit Farmers
Fearful Of Windfall Tax
Labour Suffering
From 'Long Corbyn'
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