Writer of the Month Dec 2021 final

The results are in - and the big O has won the December WOTM competition, with a credible second place by Stew Barclay.

The big question now is - who is the writer of the year?



apepper 

Covid restrictions cause queue of chickens waiting to come home to roost outside No 10

Government announces December 9th as "Panic Day"

How to tell if dozens of people are having a party in your house

Johnson: "Lying about illegal parties is what Jesus would do"

Tories shocked to discover that Boris Johnson behaved like Boris Johnson again

Chipchase 

Downing St declares black is white and always has been

Downing Street tells Ministers to use 'Baldrick Defence' in new media guidelines

Govt: 'Clifftop rambles in force ten banned but tightrope walks on pylons still perfectly fine'

Palace appoints Mary Berry as Honorary Queen Mum

Chrisf 

Actual bloody nose would be more satisfying, say voters

Man 'switching things up' only actually making very minor changes

Telecoms industry in crisis after retirement of Bill Payer

Danny Soz 

Subbuteo table soccer's latest edition to feature drunken England fan

Toddler savaged by government watchdog

 West London Brexiter shoots wife following bent banana confusion

Wife caught man having an affair using ship-to-ship Aldis Lamp

Doctor Chutney

Female Swedish PM returns in Scandinavian noir twist

Ghislaine Maxwell trial regularly interrupted by struggling courtroom artist

Government running out of melodramatic analogies for future variants

Last Place On Earth discovered in a garden in Redditch

Number 10 Downing Street says, “Nothing to do with me."

Putin turned on by Truss in a tank

Secret film emerges of Prince Charles rehearsing Coronation ceremony

Tories drop the word Party from their name

Woman finds exact nanosecond local Barclays Bank is open

Dominic_mcg 

Johnson denies government held illegal raves during first lockdown

Man breaks world record for owning the most Lynx gift sets

Peter Jackson's Cheeky Girls documentary gets green light.

Frank Optional 

Blanket confusion over blanket ban on blankets

British Hedgehog Preservation Society declares victory over hedgehog change

Child gives vicar grief over naivety story

Father thoroughly disappointed after 4 year old fails to reproduce modern art

Government denies that it's one rule for them and another rule for everyone else

Large chimney demolished without being made into cheap joke at the end of the news

Man standing outside station with a sign snags job as NHS chief executive

Palace announces that Prince Andrew has started sweating again

Garibaldi 

British fish to take lessons in conversational French

Care Home Resident admits to solo xmas party whilst in lockdown

Gerontius 

Newly elected Tory MP 'too busy to attend surgeries' says party chair

Ian Searle 

Intruder captured at Windsor Castle on Christmas Day has sack of toys confiscated 

modelmaker 

Espionage novelists shred two years of work

Schools get opportunity to help with new covid variants

Newsbiscuit Editorial Team 

Happy Humbug Day & a seasons contrafibulations to all our readers

Shock as world completely runs out of news

oshaughnessy 

Boris examines the NHS data and demands to know how 40 hospitals have gone missing

Conservatives deny name change to 'The Ed Sheeran' Party is a diversionary tactic

Double glazing salesmen & Jehovah's Witnesses to give door-to-door vaccine jabs

Panic buying returns up north as high streets run out of Frankincense and Myrhh

Queen to rap with Stormzy for this years Xmas speech

Terrified Putin withdraws from Ukraine after Liz Truss threatens to move to Moscow

The Queen burns her entire collection of Rihanna albums in anti-Barbados protest

Tories annual piss-up in brewery cancelled after Boris forgot to send out the invitations

Paul L 

Wild goose chase ends in success

Robowurzel2 

BBC rocked by Shaun the Sheep storm

Sir Lupus 

Cleaner becomes PM because she's the only gov't member not to have to resign over Xmas party

SteveB

Bilingual' Englishman admits all he can do is translate between English and Northern English

Cricket tour Down Under goes into 15th year

Government measures force all people to be alive and dead at the same time

'Merry Christmas' to be replaced with 'Yippee-ki-yay, motherf*cker'

Porcelain figurine industry in turmoil as wholesale price of tat skyrockets

UEFA win through to meet FIA in the grand fiasco final

Zombies refusing to eat the brains of anyone without proof of a negative lateral flow test

stewartbarclay 

Cabinet Sauvignon as COBRA declares BYOB

Could lockdown ruin moment in the sun for reserve crockery?

Downing Street Christmas party this year to be ‘absolute rager’

Man sweeping up leaves not wasting his time

No. 10 celebrates new Covid high score with meeting that isn’t a party

North Shropshire to collectivise farms and declare a socialist republic

Obscure actor's obituary dominating coverage as no other news at Christmas

Particularly slow news day for right-wing press

Throngsman 

Boris and Carrie Round Robin letter 2021

Breaking news - Santa tests positive!

Brian Dobbins denies having a party in his shed last Christmas

Government urge wild parties to be carried out cautiously

Ministers hoping for more snow, investigation concludes

Nobody gives a f*ck about the Google daily artwork anymore

Tories accused of dithering over Boris

Viagra link to holding back dementia claim challenged, apparently again say old people

Wrenfoe 

Blair: Everyone will catch Covid in 45mins

CIA promise to look after Assange like they looked after JFK

Developer warns new ski resort is 'the start of a slippery slope'

Facebook defends Myanmar hate speech - as it got lots of 'likes'

'I've been silenced' complains man in podcast, stage show and own documentary

Liz Truss as PM? It's a bit early for April Fools isn't it?

Prince Redacted has a redacted

UK's spirit animal is a dead badger

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