WOTM December 2021 mid month

 a lot of runners and riders at the top of the chart, but SteveB has the edge with the Big O close on his heels

apepper 

Covid restrictions cause queue of chickens waiting to come home to roost outside No 10

Government announces December 9th as "Panic Day"

How to tell if dozens of people are having a party in your house

Chipchase 

Downing Street tells Ministers to use 'Baldrick Defence' in new media guidelines

Govt: 'Clifftop rambles in force ten banned but tightrope walks on pylons still perfectly fine'

Palace appoints Mary Berry as Honorary Queen Mum

Danny Soz 

Subbuteo table soccer's latest edition to feature drunken England fan

Wife caught man having an affair using ship-to-ship Aldis Lamp

Doctor Chutney

Female Swedish PM returns in Scandinavian noir twist

Ghislaine Maxwell trial regularly interrupted by struggling courtroom artist

Number 10 Downing Street says, “Nothing to do with me."

Putin turned on by Truss in a tank

Tories drop the word Party from their name

Dominic_mcg 

Johnson denies government held illegal raves during first lockdown

Peter Jackson's Cheeky Girls documentary gets green light.

Frank Optional 

Child gives vicar grief over naivety story

Government denies that it's one rule for them and another rule for everyone else

Large chimney demolished without being made into cheap joke at the end of the news

Man standing outside station with a sign snags job as NHS chief executive

Garibaldi 

British fish to take lessons in conversational French

Care Home Resident admits to solo xmas party whilst in lockdown

Gerontius 

Newly elected Tory MP 'too busy to attend surgeries' says party chair

modelmaker 

Espionage novelists shred two years of work

Schools get opportunity to help with new covid variants

oshaughnessy 

Conservatives deny name change to 'The Ed Sheeran' Party is a diversionary tactic

Terrified Putin withdraws from Ukraine after Liz Truss threatens to move to Moscow

The Queen burns her entire collection of Rihanna albums in anti-Barbados protest

SteveB

'Merry Christmas' to be replaced with 'Yippee-ki-yay, motherf*cker'

Porcelain figurine industry in turmoil as wholesale price of tat skyrockets

UEFA win through to meet FIA in the grand fiasco final

Zombies refusing to eat the brains of anyone without proof of a negative lateral flow test

stewartbarclay 

Downing Street Christmas party this year to be ‘absolute rager’

Man sweeping up leaves not wasting his time

Particularly slow news day for right-wing press

Throngsman 

Brian Dobbins denies having a party in his shed last Christmas

Ministers hoping for more snow, investigation concludes

Nobody gives a f*ck about the Google daily artwork anymore

Viagra link to holding back dementia claim challenged, apparently again say old people

Wrenfoe 

Developer warns new ski resort is 'the start of a slippery slope'

Facebook defends Myanmar hate speech - as it got lots of 'likes'

UK's spirit animal is a dead badger

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