WOTM December 2021 mid month

 a lot of runners and riders at the top of the chart, but SteveB has the edge with the Big O close on his heels

apepper 

Covid restrictions cause queue of chickens waiting to come home to roost outside No 10

Government announces December 9th as "Panic Day"

How to tell if dozens of people are having a party in your house

Chipchase 

Downing Street tells Ministers to use 'Baldrick Defence' in new media guidelines

Govt: 'Clifftop rambles in force ten banned but tightrope walks on pylons still perfectly fine'

Palace appoints Mary Berry as Honorary Queen Mum

Danny Soz 

Subbuteo table soccer's latest edition to feature drunken England fan

Wife caught man having an affair using ship-to-ship Aldis Lamp

Doctor Chutney

Female Swedish PM returns in Scandinavian noir twist

Ghislaine Maxwell trial regularly interrupted by struggling courtroom artist

Number 10 Downing Street says, “Nothing to do with me."

Putin turned on by Truss in a tank

Tories drop the word Party from their name

Dominic_mcg 

Johnson denies government held illegal raves during first lockdown

Peter Jackson's Cheeky Girls documentary gets green light.

Frank Optional 

Child gives vicar grief over naivety story

Government denies that it's one rule for them and another rule for everyone else

Large chimney demolished without being made into cheap joke at the end of the news

Man standing outside station with a sign snags job as NHS chief executive

Garibaldi 

British fish to take lessons in conversational French

Care Home Resident admits to solo xmas party whilst in lockdown

Gerontius 

Newly elected Tory MP 'too busy to attend surgeries' says party chair

modelmaker 

Espionage novelists shred two years of work

Schools get opportunity to help with new covid variants

oshaughnessy 

Conservatives deny name change to 'The Ed Sheeran' Party is a diversionary tactic

Terrified Putin withdraws from Ukraine after Liz Truss threatens to move to Moscow

The Queen burns her entire collection of Rihanna albums in anti-Barbados protest

SteveB

'Merry Christmas' to be replaced with 'Yippee-ki-yay, motherf*cker'

Porcelain figurine industry in turmoil as wholesale price of tat skyrockets

UEFA win through to meet FIA in the grand fiasco final

Zombies refusing to eat the brains of anyone without proof of a negative lateral flow test

stewartbarclay 

Downing Street Christmas party this year to be ‘absolute rager’

Man sweeping up leaves not wasting his time

Particularly slow news day for right-wing press

Throngsman 

Brian Dobbins denies having a party in his shed last Christmas

Ministers hoping for more snow, investigation concludes

Nobody gives a f*ck about the Google daily artwork anymore

Viagra link to holding back dementia claim challenged, apparently again say old people

Wrenfoe 

Developer warns new ski resort is 'the start of a slippery slope'

Facebook defends Myanmar hate speech - as it got lots of 'likes'

UK's spirit animal is a dead badger

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Welcome to the Unofficial Newsbiscuit Writer of the Month Competition

If you've strayed onto this blog please note it is being used to keep the monthly results of the Writer's competition run unofficially by myself on behalf of the contributors to the UK's foremost satire news site, Newsbiscuit .  Newsbiscuit was created and is supported by comic genius John O'Farrell to provide a place for aspiring and proven comic writers alike to work in.  This blog is not an official organ of Newsbiscuit and any errors or omissions are mine alone, If you want to get to Newsbiscuit itself (and who wouldn't) then click here . If you fancy having a stab at writing satire (or any form of humour) then the Writer's Room is here .  Please note you have to register with the website before you can contribute.  If you want to read the guidelines for writers, please click here . Most writers write under a pseudonym, partly to be mysterious, mainly to keep their reputations intact.  Top tip - choose a name that is short and, critically, easy for me
Read more

WOTM May 2023

Image
Sully has stormed ahead this month, followed cautiously by SteveB and modelmaker.  New writer cara has come in at a credible fifth place.  As usual, links to all the FPs, NiBs and Features (AKA Left Alerts) below the leaderboard, followed by the cartoon of the month, then the ticker list, which contains Deskpilot's awesome 20 tickers amongst many others apepper Government celebrate as travel delays not caused by Brexit Public consider letting Penny Mordaunt continue as sole Conservative MP Benvoleo YouTuber accused of intentionally crashing plane headhunted for senior Government role billiclay Government creates new fear: Nano Boats Monopoly introduces Get out of Speeding Penalty Card TransPennine Express defend fluid timetables and non-binary concepts about arrival Cara Area man unveils covert method of ogling female co-workers Boys' Exposure to Romance Movies Starts at an Alarming Young Age, Reveals Study JK Rowling axes Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw from new adaptation; claims &q
Read more

WOTM April 2023

Image
Well, Myke has only gone and done it again, and well deserved too as his Tucker Carlson sub is probably an all time high read sub on this version of NB!SteveB and Wren also gave a good go at the WOTM title. apepper Conservatives want people to stop talking about last 13 years billiclay Brexit saves Britain from Europe murder train Government Completely Changes the Meaning of the Word Exciting Mongers of the world after another thing to monger Putin looking at moving to a Bungalow Chipchase Camelot and Waitrose unveil new ‘prize partnership’ Fears grow for 80s something couple Ada and Stanley "missing" in Hollister Government named as sponsor for Ant & Dec's new show: "I'm a UK Diplomat... Get Me Out Of Here" Leicester man makes 7000 mile round-trip to collect Friday night curry Rev Green set to be freed as new evidence points to shocking miscarriage of justic e Stormzy moves to distance himself from Trump Chrisf Man inexplicably carrying round absolutely
Read more