WOTM Nov 2021 mid month

 Blurb

Doctor Chutney has had a storming month so far, scoring in all categories.  He's starting to look unassailable and the real battle now is for second place.


BangingOnAgain 

Criminals propose 'just scrapping' criminal justice system

Chipchase 

As accusations of Johnson's utter incompetence grow it appears the PM's not for turning

Cluedo’s Rev Green released after 2016 conviction deemed to be 'unsafe'

Mystery businessman offers £1,000,000 prize for someone to kick Boris Johnson up the arse on live TV

Super-rich unhappy at being told they can no longer burn mountains of bank notes

Your new house share inmate not fitting in how you hoped she might

Chrisf 

5 Modern Pentathlon events for the 21st century

JobsForTheBoys.com - the number 1 platform for MPs looking for a second job

Doctor Chutney 

COP26: A Delegate's Guide

COP26 delegates shocked as Planet Earth says “I don’t need saving."

COP creators confirm number 27 in the franchise

GB News ‘devastated’ by the death of their only viewer

Kimjongunism: An ideology so new Gwyneth Paltrow hasn’t adopted it yet

Man converting shed to beach hut in readiness for rising sea levels

Premier League footballer openly admits “I’m overpaid"

Dominic_mcg 

Labour leader calls for resignation of 1980s amorous TV milkman

Woman in her 20s 'doesn't like Drag Race'

eppursimuove 

Hollywood greenlights new film - The Conte of Ouste Nuno

Frank Optional 

BlahBlahBlah26 angry at Greta Thunberg for claiming that COP26 attendees just go 'blah blah blah'

Boris Johnson publishes price list for describing what the UK is not

nicharper 

Guardian launches "What the BBC Says the Papers are Saying" column

NickB 

‘Invading Iraq was Lionel’s idea’ reveals younger brother Tony

oshaughnessy 

Australia solves rising sea level crisis by giving everyone a surfboard

Ebahgumshire Cricket Club banned from hosting Black History Month events

Geoffrey Cox traced to Caribbean tax haven after his voice registered 7.1 on the Richter scale

Rescuers attempt to save Westminster man trapped by his own lies

Sir Lupus 

Bezos commits to saving world once he owns it all

Govt replaces Standards Committee with Pay-As-You-Go system

Luton man loses house after accepting "Legitimate Interest" of fraudsters to steal it

StanleyMizaru 

Climate change beaten after Tory MP takes it on as second job

SteveB

Birds flying south for the winter have no intention of coming back to Britain

Conservatives mistakenly vote to 'review' the body which might find them guilty of their misdeeds

Fears grow for health of Gary Lineker as Walkers announce deadly crisps shortage

Great! Xmas' TV channel just stuffing the word Christmas into regular film titles

Steve Blair 

The NewsBiscuit guide to Rugby

stewartbarclay 

Big Bird admits role in vaccine conspiracy

Tories to form breakaway Super League of Lobbying

Throngsman 

Government introduce check-a-mate covid checks for travellers

Poorest 50% of planet 'likely to achieve COP26 targets'

Research shows all anti-vaxxers voted Brexit

'UK not a corrupt country', says man in charge of corrupt MPs

underconstruction 

Levelling up will ensure entire nation is underwater

Wrenfoe 

Johnson impregnates medical staff using elbow

MPs fail to declare MP’s salary – ‘as they haven’t earnt it’

Politicians complain that mobs are starting to look unruly

Wrap up warm to avoid having to diet

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Welcome to the Unofficial Newsbiscuit Writer of the Month Competition

If you've strayed onto this blog please note it is being used to keep the monthly results of the Writer's competition run unofficially by myself on behalf of the contributors to the UK's foremost satire news site, Newsbiscuit .  Newsbiscuit was created and is supported by comic genius John O'Farrell to provide a place for aspiring and proven comic writers alike to work in.  This blog is not an official organ of Newsbiscuit and any errors or omissions are mine alone, If you want to get to Newsbiscuit itself (and who wouldn't) then click here . If you fancy having a stab at writing satire (or any form of humour) then the Writer's Room is here .  Please note you have to register with the website before you can contribute.  If you want to read the guidelines for writers, please click here . Most writers write under a pseudonym, partly to be mysterious, mainly to keep their reputations intact.  Top tip - choose a name that is short and, critically, easy f...
Read more

Writer of the Month January 2024

Image
 Deskpilot is on form this month, taking 30 points followed by yours truly on 29 and eppursimouve on 28, so pretty close all round.  As usual there are links to all the Fronty Pages, News in Brief and Features below.  The cartoon  of the month follows the leaderboard and the full list of headlines below that. apepper "Stop the boats" policy expanded to include flag ship policies Beau-Jolly Vet successfully operates on three-headed dog billclay Illegal Immigration Minister arrested after complaints from Legal Migration Ministe r Vape company mascot “Mr Cuddles” denies claims of targeting children Chipchase Govt ministers doing TV round will ditch facts in favour of barefaced lies Great British Menu slammed 'pretentious, dangerous and out of control' Chrisf Man insists on calling moderately unusual events ‘absolute scenes' Deskpilot3 Labour hopes to secure landslide general election victory with celebrity MPs Public demands more honours returned Unthinkable! Policy ...
Read more

Writer of the Month March 2024

Image
Deskpilot has topped the leaderboard (again) with a brilliant set of headlines plus a not too shabby run of FPs and NiBs.  SteveB has kept the pressure on and eppursimuouve brings up a creditable third place. There's a full list of the published subs below the leaderboard with links, the cartoon of the month and a full list of headlines. apepper Galloway: "We'll take seats from labour, providing they don't stand, obviously" Garrick Club doubles down and bans men as well as women Jeremy Hunt diverts entire GDP into his own constituenc y Tory donor slams year-long waiting list for knighthood Unnamed Tory MP not under investigation by Standards Committee Ashbery Boat Race Betting (and Pooping) Guide Chipchase Irish Eyes smiling as Bono grants Pope an audience Shock: National Treasure, Tiddler, was double agent Trump: My 4-goal haul in 1966 World Cup Final will never be beaten david2468 Foreign Secretary visits Thailand to pursue stronger economic and defence ties… he...
Read more