WOTM June 2021 mid month

 Wren is taking no chances this month, but Banging and SteveB are in tight contention





Al OPecia 

Harrison Ford to appear in new abseiling movie: ‘Clear and Present Dangler’. More new releases below

apepper 

Johnson announces garden bridge to cross rift with EU

Musk steps up plans for Mars mission after global tax reform

Team of priests on standby to receive PM’s confession

BangingOnAgain 

Couple die of starvation while deciding what to have for dinner

Dad has ‘best holiday ever’ after beating satnav by 3 minutes

Hancock given ‘super special important job’ of announcing who can get jab next

‘Selfless generosity’ as vaccine leftovers to go to poor instead of the bin

Toilet voted ‘best place to hide from your children 2021′

UK holiday resorts ‘infested’ with middle class tw*ts

UK shocked to discover it has a Tsar

Chipchase 

Big business pens open letter to Johnson over ‘Freedom Day’ postponement

Combined efforts of Repair Shop experts unable to restore one man’s reputation

Covid 19 – “I’m no match for Duncan Smith and his Tory backbenchers”

UK’s ‘freedom day’ decision passed to mixed infants reception class

Chrisf 

Man with Euro 2020 wallchart behaving like he’s Churchill in his war room

Clickbait 

Great Britain signs free trade deal with Northern Ireland

Deceangli 

Call of Duty to become Call of Nature

Dominic_mcg 

Wallace and Gromit statue to be removed due to slavery connections

Grand Moff Starkin 

Did Prince Andrew falsify Pizza Express receipt to secure interview with BBC?

Ian Searle 

Police arrest 7 on the way to G7 in St. Ives – all married to the same man

James_doc 

Blood donation questions to include political leanings

GB news breaks world record for use of word “woke”

Hospitality crisis: BBC to show “Great British Wait Off”

Lucifer appointed as head of Ofcom

Jeremymh 

Entire England cricket XI convicted of obscene public acts

Midfield Diamond 

Schoolchildren resolve to call all fat kids Freddy from now on

Milo Shame 

Still no agreement on buffet breakfast arrangements for G7

NickB 

Princess’s choice ‘not to have covid jab in her bottom’ prompts royal bum chat.

oshaughnessy 

British holidaymakers jubilant as budget destination Mustique goes on green list

Sir Lupus 

Amazon workers wish Bezos an enjoyable space flight, one-way

StanleyMizaru 

President Biden accidentally has “constructive” talks with Wilfred Johnson

SteveB

Man who went out to get take out was in, came out, and is now in again

Omega variant will make everyone incredibly sexy and give some people superpowers

Smart money on ‘by Wednesday’ for how soon Boris will commitadultery

Woman ridden with guilt over looking for new laptops on her current laptop

stewartbarclay 

Alan Bennett is new Israeli PM

China says ‘nothing to see here’ on Tiananmen anniversary

Queen Elizabeth the ever living

Throngsman 

Friends of Harry Dunn’s parents concerned the repair bill will come back to them

Jeff Bezos hoping ‘not to be left with a neighbour’

Man thrown out of internet forum for ‘knowing stuff’

UK welcomes ‘bonzer’ boomerang deal

Trevor Rudge 

Southgate selects 26 goalkeepers

Wrenfoe 

Bear shitting in wood reveals rich don’t pay tax

Bezos overtaken on rich list by roadside strawberry seller

Could £1.795m life-saving drug have used cheaper packaging?

Logan Paul set for rematch as world agrees to punch him in the face

London resolves lack of floating swimming pools before removing lethal cladding

‘They may take our lives, but they’ll never take our dress circle tickets to see Phantom’.

Wallet inspectors to be nationalized

Williamson insists topless picture of Queen must remain

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