WOTM June 2021 final
Wren and SteveB have been slugging it out at the top, with Wren pipping Steve at the final hurdle. Banging has pipped myself to take third place. As usual all the links to FPs.NiBs etc below the leaderboard with tickers listed in the chat room.
Al OPecia
Harrison Ford to appear in new abseiling movie: ‘Clear and Present Dangler’. More new releases below
apepper
Johnson announces garden bridge to cross rift with EU
Musk steps up plans for Mars mission after global tax reform
Professional red herring regrets career choice
Team of priests on standby to receive PM’s confession
BangingOnAgain
Couple die of starvation while deciding what to have for dinner
Dad has ‘best holiday ever’ after beating satnav by 3 minutes
Hancock given ‘super special important job’ of announcing who can get jab next
‘Selfless generosity’ as vaccine leftovers to go to poor instead of the bin
Toilet voted ‘best place to hide from your children 2021′
UK holiday resorts ‘infested’ with middle class tw*ts
UK shocked to discover it has a Tsar
Chipchase
Big business pens open letter to Johnson over ‘Freedom Day’ postponement
Combined efforts of Repair Shop experts unable to restore one man’s reputation
Covid 19 – “I’m no match for Duncan Smith and his Tory backbenchers”
UK’s ‘freedom day’ decision passed to mixed infants reception class
Chrisf
Man with Euro 2020 wallchart behaving like he’s Churchill in his war room
Clickbait
Great Britain signs free trade deal with Northern Ireland
Deceangli
Call of Duty to become Call of Nature
Dominic_mcg
Wallace and Gromit statue to be removed due to slavery connections
Grand Moff Starkin
Did Prince Andrew falsify Pizza Express receipt to secure interview with BBC?
Ian Searle
Police arrest 7 on the way to G7 in St. Ives – all married to the same man
James_doc
Blood donation questions to include political leanings
GB news breaks world record for use of word “woke”
Hospitality crisis: BBC to show “Great British Wait Off”
Lucifer appointed as head of Ofcom
Jeremymh
Entire England cricket XI convicted of obscene public acts
Al OPecia
Harrison Ford to appear in new abseiling movie: ‘Clear and Present Dangler’. More new releases below
apepper
Johnson announces garden bridge to cross rift with EU
Musk steps up plans for Mars mission after global tax reform
Team of priests on standby to receive PM’s confession
BangingOnAgain
Couple die of starvation while deciding what to have for dinner
Dad has ‘best holiday ever’ after beating satnav by 3 minutes
Hancock given ‘super special important job’ of announcing who can get jab next
Hancock: ‘hands, face, space’ to be replaced with ‘snog, grope, apologise’
Law states people cannot be insulted if insult followed by smiley emoji
‘Selfless generosity’ as vaccine leftovers to go to poor instead of the bin
‘The history of the teaspoon’ and other thrilling Radio 4 documentaries
Toilet voted ‘best place to hide from your children 2021′
UK holiday resorts ‘infested’ with middle class tw*ts
UK shocked to discover it has a Tsar
Woman depressed after finding out friend successfully completed marathon
Chipchase
Big business pens open letter to Johnson over ‘Freedom Day’ postponement
Combined efforts of Repair Shop experts unable to restore one man’s reputation
Covid 19 – “I’m no match for Duncan Smith and his Tory backbenchers”
GB news only to cover British weather
‘Hancock genius’ remark signals Rees-Mogg’s return to frontline politics
UK’s ‘freedom day’ decision passed to mixed infants reception class
Chrisf
Man with Euro 2020 wallchart behaving like he’s Churchill in his war room
Clickbait
Great Britain signs free trade deal with Northern Ireland
Dan.F
Confused Biden repeatedly refers to queen as ‘Mom’
Deceangli
Call of Duty to become Call of Nature
Dominic_mcg
Sarah Green bye-election win inspires kids of other tv stars
Wallace and Gromit statue to be removed due to slavery connections
Grand Moff Starkin
Did Prince Andrew falsify Pizza Express receipt to secure interview with BBC?
Ian Searle
Police arrest 7 on the way to G7 in St. Ives – all married to the same man
James_doc
Blood donation questions to include political leanings
GB news breaks world record for use of word “woke”
GB News to introduce news in semaphore
Hospitality crisis: BBC to show “Great British Wait Off”
Lucifer appointed as head of Ofcom
Jeremymh
Entire England cricket XI convicted of obscene public acts
Lockjaw54
Lockjaw54
Chris Whitty loses his shit and puts two men in hospital
Midfield Diamond
Schoolchildren resolve to call all fat kids Freddy from now on
Milo Shame
Still no agreement on buffet breakfast arrangements for G7
MzWibble
Tory planning system change will lead to new homes in flood zones
NickB
Princess’s choice ‘not to have covid jab in her bottom’ prompts royal bum chat.
oshaughnessy
British holidaymakers jubilant as budget destination Mustique goes on green list
Government’s woke department demolishes Somerset house as it’s not in Somerset
Spain cancels annual balcony jumping championship
Robowurzel
War Office denies Crimea plans jeopardised by secrets leak
Sinnick
PM rallies nation and rescues culture with epic Cabaret reworking
Sir Lupus
Amazon workers wish Bezos an enjoyable space flight, one-way
StanleyMizaru
Government credibility found in a Kent bus shelter
President Biden accidentally has “constructive” talks with Wilfred Johnson
SteveB
Brits now stockpiling holidays in the UK
Hancock leaks photo to keep job
Man who went out to get take out was in, came out, and is now in again
Matt Hancock leaves to standing ovation from grateful nation for job well done
Omega variant will make everyone incredibly sexy and give some people superpowers
Prostitutes dismayed at missing out on honours list again
Smart money on ‘by Wednesday’ for how soon Boris will commitadultery
Woman ridden with guilt over looking for new laptops on her current laptop
stewartbarclay
Alan Bennett is new Israeli PM
China says ‘nothing to see here’ on Tiananmen anniversary
Jacob Rees-Mogg now fully weaned
Politics to be kept out of England v Germany tie
Queen Elizabeth the ever living
Thousand year Lib Dem Reich ‘inevitable’
Throngsman
Friends of Harry Dunn’s parents concerned the repair bill will come back to them
HSE to investigate Jack and Jill case’ once ‘Dumpy investigation’ concluded
Jeff Bezos hoping ‘not to be left with a neighbour’
Man thrown out of internet forum for ‘knowing stuff’
Probe into false Amazon reviews given six stars
UK welcomes ‘bonzer’ boomerang deal
Trevor Rudge
Southgate selects 26 goalkeepers
Wrenfoe
Bear shitting in wood reveals rich don’t pay tax
Bezos overtaken on rich list by roadside strawberry seller
Could £1.795m life-saving drug have used cheaper packaging?
Logan Paul set for rematch as world agrees to punch him in the face
London resolves lack of floating swimming pools before removing lethal cladding
‘They may take our lives, but they’ll never take our dress circle tickets to see Phantom’.
Wallet inspectors to be nationalized
WHO tells women to stop drinking, particularly Sandra from Gateshead
Williamson insists topless picture of Queen must remain
Midfield Diamond
Schoolchildren resolve to call all fat kids Freddy from now on
Milo Shame
Still no agreement on buffet breakfast arrangements for G7
NickB
Princess’s choice ‘not to have covid jab in her bottom’ prompts royal bum chat.
oshaughnessy
British holidaymakers jubilant as budget destination Mustique goes on green list
Sir Lupus
Amazon workers wish Bezos an enjoyable space flight, one-way
StanleyMizaru
President Biden accidentally has “constructive” talks with Wilfred Johnson
SteveB
Hancock leaks photo to keep job
In space, it turns out, everyone can hear you scream
Man who went out to get take out was in, came out, and is now in again
Omega variant will make everyone incredibly sexy and give some people superpowers
Smart money on ‘by Wednesday’ for how soon Boris will commitadultery
Woman ridden with guilt over looking for new laptops on her current laptop
stewartbarclay
Alan Bennett is new Israeli PM
China says ‘nothing to see here’ on Tiananmen anniversary
HMS Defender ‘played out of position’
Queen Elizabeth the ever living
Sydalg
Driving test to include “driving up motorway in wrong direction” part
Throngsman
Artificial Intelligence used to complete teenager’s Art GCSE
EU eye Trans-Pacific trade deal enviously
Friends of Harry Dunn’s parents concerned the repair bill will come back to them
Jeff Bezos hoping ‘not to be left with a neighbour’
Man thrown out of internet forum for ‘knowing stuff’
Mars Perseverance Rover decides ‘Mars is shit’
UK welcomes ‘bonzer’ boomerang deal
Trevor Rudge
Southgate selects 26 goalkeepers
Wrenfoe
Bear shitting in wood reveals rich don’t pay tax
Bezos overtaken on rich list by roadside strawberry seller
Could £1.795m life-saving drug have used cheaper packaging?
GB News becomes a credible alternative to NewsBiscuit
Government insists all children hum the tune of the Dambusters
Logan Paul set for rematch as world agrees to punch him in the face
London resolves lack of floating swimming pools before removing lethal cladding
Met police behind rigged Eurovision voting system
‘They may take our lives, but they’ll never take our dress circle tickets to see Phantom’.
Tories arrange spy swap – Bercow for Starmer
Wallet inspectors to be nationalized
Weighing school kids will tell us if they are carrying knives
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