WOTM May 2020 mid month

SteveB is having a great month, as is current WOTM Big O (must make sure he knows about the Wren Rule sometime), followed closely by Trevor Rudge and Myke, while the mighty Wren is nipping at all their heels.  This has the makings of an exciting competition (again)



A.Mantra 

‘Use cheap foreign labour to pick the fruit’ says furloughed Brexiteer

Adrian Bamforth

Most jobs to be filled by the one show’s Alex Jones by July

AdrianJ 

‘International Shirkers’ Day’ passes without incident

Surprise Whitty, Vallance & Johnson reunion delights fan

apepper 

Johnson pledges 200% shambles by end of the month

Benvoleo 

Care-home dead heartened that ICU care was available, should they have needed it

ChrisF 

Article about how I nearly died needs ‘litres and litres of oxygen’ admits PM

Boris Johnson to take over from Ted Rogers on 3-2-1 reboot

Vera Lynn sent on Microsoft Outlook calendar training

Chipchase

Covid-19 a letter to the editor

Donald Trump is a prototype android created in a Chinese laboratory

Deceangli 

Trump wins ‘Noble Prise for spelling’

Dick Everyman 

Channel 5 launches new series of coastal ramblings with Nigel Farage

Dominic_mcg 

Huge disappointment as Zoom meeting goes off without incident

Gerontius 

Sick note excused Govt from taking part in PPE lessons insists Boris

jimmydodger, SteveB, sydalg, oshaughnessy, Al OPecia, FlashArry, Landfill, Max Stars, Sinnick, Terry Bunn, Rowly, Gerontius, deskpilot3, Mick Turate



Max Stars 

Astrologer sacked after 2020 predictions

Dr. Michael Mosley tests positive for over exposure

PM press conference – Boris denies channeling Ronnie Corbett

Myke 

The Tremendous Sulk joins Marvel movie franchise

oshaughnessy


Premiership football clubs sign up for yob retention scheme

Priti Patel takes charge of the pollen count

Romanian politicians flown in to do the jobs British politicians can’t do

Trump to protect every American by surrounding them with a family of Mexicans

Oxbridge 

Man driven to brink by contemplating 76 shades of white paint

PaulD 

Following Prime Minister’s speech on Sunday, coronavirus unsure what to do next

Sarah Tipper 

Travel-size toiletries surprised by bathrooms at home

Sir Lupus 

UK has highest number of lockdown-cheating scientists in Europe

SteveB 

15 ways to get a meeting done in 15 minutes

Dashcams keep dogging industry alive and kicking online

Rees-Mogg too busy patriotically squirrelling away millions offshore to comment

Sam Beckett quantum leaps into Donald Trump

Throngsman 

Isle of Wight app testers complain about in-app purchases

Titus 

OAP goes back to being retired as many return to work

Trevor Rudge 

Competitive hand-clapping neighbour buys 14ft saucepan

Conservative government to return to unprotecting the NHS

Go to work > take your chances > protect the DWP

Without coffee shops, the UK rediscovers how to drink coffee quickly

Vertically Challenged Giant 

“New advice is unclear” complains man who ignored previous advice

Wrenfoe 

‘Contingency plans’ for Boris’ death, still the best plan on offer

Isle of Wight tracing app is just a man ringing bell shouting ‘unclean’

Michael Gove’s bookshelf contains the Necronomicon

Ventilator supply gap to be filled with kazoos

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