WOTM Nov 2019 final

Well, Tonymc81 kept up the pressure and scored an impressive 46 points.  Hot on his tail after being deselected as Labour candidate is Wrenfoe, who shrugged off the rejection from his favoured party and strove to ensure he was second in at least one competition.  Personally I think coming second in WOTM trumps some so-so General Election anyway.

Not to be forgotten is Chip, who as usual has handed in some superb subs and lands in a creditable third place.  He can hand his virtual mug back to tech guy with pride.

As usual, links to all the published subs are below, in case you missed any, and the ticker list is on the chat room



acidcirus 

Boris begging daddy to write a note excusing him from Andrew Neil interview

Adrian Bamforth 

Labour to create new day of the week

Ronald McDonald faces sack after admitting to tryst with Hamburgular

Terrorist group UKIP announces new leader and vows revenge

apepper

Monster raving loony party “won’t stand in UKIP or Brexit seats”

Trump’s pants will ‘fuel fireside chat’

Chipchase

Hancock tells voters: ‘Blame Britain’s current woes on Clement Attlee’

Piers Morgan hired by The Queen to defend against media intrusion

Shock as sitcom star stuns fans by shooting new series of their sitcom

Thousands of kids traumatised after launch of 2019 John Lewis Christmas ad

Tory android suffers major technical malfunction

Tory manifesto claims slammed by under 5s mixed infants

UKIP moves swiftly to fill top job

Water companies warn of possible rationing

Chrisf

Conservatives to provide free full fibre breakfast cereal by 2020

Man treating best before dates as if they’re tablets of stone

Journalist genuinely interested in politicians’ answers to shout-out questions

DavidH 

Trump offers Greta the presidential pedalo

Dominic_mcg 

Jacob Rees Mogg discovered in ventriloquist’s suitcase

Gerontius 

BANG !! ‘…and the smirk is gone’

‘Fire Brigade to reduce number of future home visits’ say NFCC

It was ‘common sense’ to spend £7.6m of public money on my wife’s ancestral home insists Rees-Mogg

Royals set to make ‘Remembrance Day’ all about them again

Ian Searle 

Frozen 2 pulled by cinemas after snowball fights break out in car park

James Pluside 

Council criticised for using potholes as flood plains

Prince Andrew’s Book, “An Excuse For Anything”, Released In Time For Christmas

Tories promise to slash hospital budgets to ‘help fund our NHS’

Midfield Diamond 

Plane boarding times cut by 10% by banning idiots who take too long

nafflaff 

Guardian reader admits to experimenting with Top Gear whilst at University

Man given Fitbit for birthday still obese

Man who has never voted livid at the prospect of 16-year-olds getting a vote

Premier league football star down injured in shopping aisle

Newsbiscuit Editorial Team 

Man who says he didn’t like Peaky Blinders shunned by mates

nickb 

Andrew Neill to cover his face in mayonnaise to make it look ‘less meaty’

Grand Old Duke of York ‘cannot remember 10,000 men, or hill’

Sarah Tipper 

Excitable Edgar Back On The Tills This Week

Sydalg 

God to switch off gravity to save energy

Throngsman

Boris agrees to be interviewed – on the One Show

Cock and balls to be an official option on election ballot

Conservatives to target Friends Reunited with ads

North of England ‘to be expanded if we win’, says Labour

Rotund man in Uxbridge sectioned for shouting ‘just get Xmas done’

Tonymc81 

Boris calls for radical education reform

Tories come unstuck spreading the word

David Attenborough enters election debate

Government poised to name names

Great Ormond Street Drive-through hospital and Bowling Alley plans untrue says Boris

Harry and Meghan to hand their notice in

‘Look, don’t give the game away’ warns anxious Cleverly

My time has come insists Farage

Rees-Mogg says farewell to his nanny

Royal subjects take strain, as Kate takes their train

Su Pollard to be new spiritual leader of IS

Tory party offers mixed bags of policies for 99p

Were Marx and Engels in Little House on the Prairie asks Brexiteer

Woman on benefits welcomes Boris cash giveaway

Walter Eagle 

Shortage of short pencils looming

‘Would you mind awfully not leaving the EU?’ asks new Sergeant Wilson party

Wrenfoe 

Andrew Neil interrupts coitus interruptus

Brexit Party’s manifesto fails to mention Brexit

Boris wanting to unlock women’s “potential’ definitely not creepy

Corbyn offers CBI free rhubarb from his allotment

Government fails to build any houses due to missing Allen Key

Lib Dem graph 110% accurate

 Lloyd Webber defeats touts by writing shows no one wants to see

Man who hates austerity ready to vote for more

Nail clippers hunt enters tenth minute

 Swinson fails in legal bid to join ‘I’m a Celebrity…’

Tories to replace austerity with ‘skullduggery’

YaBasta 

Arthur Miller’s ‘Death of an Audience’ comes to the West End

Boris biopic to be renamed “No Bridges”

Boris thought ‘everything north of Watford was Lake District’

Fire Brigade to rethink ‘Stay in burning buildings’ advice

New Scottish crime thriller: 21 Midges

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