July 2019 WOTM competition mid-month

Chip and Wren are slugging it out this month, with Deceangli making a strong challenge.





Acidcirus 

Frank Lampard’s Derby County to change name to Derby County

KFC employee refuses to work to force transfer to McDonald’s

apepper 

Gay activist defends ‘idiot reversion therapy’

Chipchase 

Attenborough’s Glastonbury set slammed

Furious Francois to call for second vote

Johnson – ‘I’ll reintroduce compulsory fagging in all public schools’

Man who wiped his arse with Daily Mail claims he ‘caught’ xenophobia

Trump tweets congratulations to America’s victorious Soccer Moms

Chrisf 

Question Time answer runs into second day as panellist awaits audience applause

Daneade 

TV Leadership Debate Format to be Booze-up at Boris’s Flat

Deceangli 

Budget airlines to trial ‘Dismemberment Class’ flights

Hollywood in search of fresh ‘Evil Accent’

Johnson, Hunt to pull Excalibur from stone

Trump recalls fateful day when USA defeated the aliens from space

Trump thrown out of Guild of Trolls for using his own name

Des Custard 

Middle aged woman self-identifies as Premier League footballer

Dick Everyman 

Biggest knob in history of the USA to head Independence Day Parade on July 4th

Editor 

Sudden interest in tennis expected to last until Wednesday

Gerontius 

Police criticise handlers for leaving Boris on back seat of hot car

Midfield Diamond 

Glastonbury 2019 ‘toughest one yet’ for right-wing press

NickB 

Cheating in eye tests ‘widespread’, say opticians

ron cawleyoni 

Dodgy American Historian Emerges As Shock Godparent choice for Royal Baby Archie

Sir Lupus

Tour de France annual festival of rural driving underway

Sugar Ray 

Government through the medium of popular dance

Sir James cleans up in Palace

Sydalg 

Global warming “could wipe out tanning salon industry”

Terry Bunn 

Boris welcomes new EU car regulations

Leaked email from US ambassador predicts Boris’s victory

The Islander 


Throngsman 

Daily Mirror to expose ‘day follows night’

Tonymc81

Boris makes another vote winning promise

Rugby needs to try harder says Chairman

Theresa May ‘in line for Sainthood’

Ugi 

Trump threatens trade-war with Moon

Wrenfoe 

Brexit is a Magical Mystery Tour, going nowhere claims Boris

Brexit now easy because ‘we’re good at sport’

Footage shows Brexit MEPs spin around and do jazz hands

Having two votes in an election is the most Tory thing you can do

Native Americans back Trump’s ‘go back to where you came from’ speech

Tom Watson is Judge Dredd

UK seizes tanker because ‘big boys made us’

YaBasta 

Fears Djokovic robot may become self-aware

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