June 2019 WOTM Competition mid month

Chips well in the lead but, and this is a code red alert, Titus is in a strong second place.  Looking like an interesting second half of the month as we ride to the final.


A.Mantra 

Bear Grylls awarded OBE for services to voluntarily doing rank sh*t

apepper 

65 year old man confesses; ‘I wasn’t Kung Foo fighting’

Benvoleo 

MP’s to stop voting as the people already voted in the referendum

Bravenewmalden 

D-Day ‘best day ever’, veteran recalls

Chipchase 

Boris: ‘I once did something selfless but I’m not proud of it’

Britain’s Moron Threat changed to ‘moderate’ following Trump’s departure

Documents discovered on train ‘not ours’ insists Farage

Good vet gets lamb back up on its feet

 Jo Brand is the one we are scared of? Really?

Johnson in last gasp attempt to acquire a shred of integrity

Man shatters record after being on hold to DWP call centre for five years

Row over un-pre-ripped jeans sees woman ostracised

Trump storms out after Queen refuses to turn Buckingham Palace into a golf resort

Chrisf 

Middle class man has unconvincing dialogue with tradesman

The Range looking for a catchy slogan after signing deal with Bruce Hornsby

DavidH 

Shaun Ryder enters Tory leadership race

Eddie_Modern 

Teetotal men ‘boring bastards’, research confirms

Gary Stanton 

‘Tank man’ now using Ocado

John Roughty 

Jeremy Hunt admits to having been Health Secretary

Midfield Diamond 

Women footballers to receive cliché training

Newsbiscuit Editorial Team 

Chuka deciding which party to betray next

Cocaine denies using Michael Gove

Pompeo: Corbyn is Elvis

nickb 

Business planning to fuck Boris Johnson right back

Chris Grayling: Why I’m supporting Boris for Leader.

Donald Trump: Parting thoughts from the UK

UK masturbators welcome roll out of 5G

Oxbridge 

I only invited Trump for shits and giggles, admits May

Superstition vindicated as ‘Curse of row 13′ strikes again

Your guide to the 385 Million Guineas a Week Stakes

ron cawleyoni 

13-0? I could have done better, boasts Trump

Sarah Tipper 

Couple buying Ottoman bed plan to put half the contents of their house in it

Shock as Blues Rock Covers-Band fails to play Cream’s ‘Crossroads’

Soliwaxbern

Godzilla criticises lack of roles for irradiated prehistoric sea monsters

Man rues 21yrs of targeted ads for ‘adult toys’ after one-off online purchase in 1998

Spoofle 

Corbyn: I took caviar but it was a mistake

Sugar Ray 

Raab promises return to ‘good old fashioned’ rape and pillage

Sydalg 

Government to crack down on podcast pollution

Government to issue health warnings about health warnings

Throngsman 

Germany demands reparations for towels lost on D Day

The Sun ‘unlikely’ to rise without further mandate, says Government

Titus 

Brexiteer with rotten tooth denies wanting ‘no-anesthetic’ extraction

Tonymc81 

McVey followers on the run

National Trust to lease air from Scottish duke

Wrenfoe

Change UK split to pursue solo incompetence

YaBasta 

Ann Widdecombe the main cause of homosexuality

Boris denies ever coming off cocaine

Early version of poem Kubla Khan in ‘tweet’ form discovered

‘Trainspotting 3: The Young Conservatives’ announced

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