March 2019 WOTM final
A cracking month, with relative newcomer A.Mantra storming up the charts to become this month's WOTM - well done. YB has kept closely on A.Mantra's tail, followed not far behind by Tonymc81. In other news - Titus came in fourth!
Full list of subs below with tickers to be found in the chat room.
acidcirus
Bob the Builder Accused of Making Builders Appear Competent
Adrian Bamforth
Lenny Henry accused of acting as ‘patronising saviour’ in Premier Inn ads
A.Mantra
Barristers to conclude cross-examination with a mic drop
Becoming a government ‘trade dealer’ – A brief guide
Coffee shop tense after man produces Windows laptop instead of a MacBook
Delayed trains now to be described as ‘fashionably late’
Elderly man on park bench actually an MI6 agent
Family holiday in peril after Facebook posts receive lukewarm response
How to run your family business like a mafia boss – A handy guide
Hungover man barely holding it together in Ikea
Inquiry launched into ‘prolonged toweling’ by men in changing rooms
Man believes yellow fuel warning light is ‘just a suggestion’
Man buys fishing waders instead of milk from Aldi
Man on first date inexplicably asks for wine list
Man pushing double-buggy on parkrun ‘racking up serious body-count’
Man who hogged middle-lane given jail term
May to replace meaningful vote with trial by combat
May: ‘UK could still have to take part in Eurovision’
Woman held captive by WhatsApp Group
Benvoleo
‘I’ve been booted out of my job’, says man who’d handed in and served his notice
Bonjonelson
Government allowed to change their mind on Brexit bill, but not British people
Bravenewmalden
Devizes man looking forward to not voting again
Chipchase
4-hour A&E target replaced with ‘survival of the fittest’
Britbox talks collapse over Ant and Dec involvement
DUP expecting ‘May’s deal’ to include the ‘mother of all magic trees’
Escape to the Country in social media storm
May: ‘I had personality bypass surgery’
National Lottery and Waitrose announce new joint initiative
Sitcom star to star in sitcom
Super saleswoman ‘Surly Shirley’ receives top retail award
UK music shops introduce ban on popular guitar audition pieces
Chris Grayling to abstain from cock ups for Lent
Man described as legend actually doing fairly mundane things
Mate insisting on referring to basic cookery tips as ‘food hacking’
PM seeks Nickelback’s advice on making same old shite appear different
Deceangli
Man who randomly called ‘heads’ now willing to defend his decision to the death
Dick Everyman
Shock as customer leaves banana bunch intact
Dominic_mcg
Office worker still unsure whether to talk about rugby or football today
Gerontius
Getting a new Earl – just like ‘winning the lottery’, says humble peasant-folk of Forfar
May rejects link between dead greenhouse plants and lack of water
GrahamB
EU Leaders agree extension until “just after May leaves”
Hindari Banga
May seeks to resolve problems with “megavote”
Mick Turate
Grayling in second sensational space deal with Seaborne
Milo Shame
Daniel Day Lewis to take lead in Karen Bradley Biopic
Meaningful vote three to be renamed Jennifer
MzWibble
Teenager refuses to go out without a nice umbrella
Newsbiscuit Editorial Team
April Fools’ Day to coincide with Brexit
New study claims Gandalf and Dumbledore are one and the same person
PM to get MPs to vote on each individual word in her deal
Sajid Javid to strip UK brides of EU citizenship
nickb
Arlene Foster ‘window shopping for expensive new handbag.’
Backstop provision to merge with offside rule
Grayling and Bradley: The Podcast
Shit Creek paddle company ‘liquidated’
Oxbridge
Billy Brittain’s three-year mid-life crisis still dragging on
Soap fans divided over plans to kill off ‘Theresa May’ character
SaraTtipper
Man unwittingly ushers in spring by eating the last of the Christmas Twiglets
Scribbler
MPs reject the absence of denial of a deal-less Brexit
Sir Lupus
Barista applies for tax exemption for ‘performing a persona’ at work
Titus
20 days later and hopes are fading fast of finding The Independent Group alive
Brexit is an anagram of Brexit
Brexit – was all a dream
Last General Election ‘Did Not Really Count’
Remainers favour a Grayling Brexit
Tonymc81
Brexit ‘turd’ set for Trafalgar Square’s fourth plinth
Christmas may be delayed or never happen warns Theresa May
Electoral Commission to investigate bloke down the pub.
Enough is enough, say Brexiteers
Gordon Ramsay’s to be awarded first Domestos star
‘I’m a Belieber’ says Vicar
Jobs for the Boys
Leavers plan Sunderland street party for March 29th
No nooky for Rees-Mogg during Lent
One of our MPs is missing
Police Chiefs take Chancellor’s advice
Wrenfoe
May can’t even resign properly
Mueller concludes no Russian collusion, voters are ‘just dumb’
Momo video was just Chris Grayling explaining Brexit
Pentagon border wall to have ‘frickin lasers!’
Shock as anti-depressant use ONLY doubles
s/
Success, as 3 million of the 16 million original remainers still support remain
Tom Watson asks for your kitten pics
Woman breaks and finally joins Amazon Prime
YaBasta
Amber Rudd apologises for not using correct term ‘person of darkness’
BBC accidentally shows Good Morning Britain pilot instead of new Alan Partridge show
Celeb ruins branded product by actually having something to do with making it
Film classification now to include pretentiousness rating
Having voted to ban umbrellas, MPs vote for it not to rain
Heroin now legal if sold with slogan “When the fun stops, stop”
Karen Bradley: ‘I didn’t realise Northern Ireland was in the north of Ireland’
New John Le Carre thriller to be called ‘Tinker, Tailor, Unemployed, Deliveroo’
Number of black senior police officers now as high as in 70’s TV shows
People who are actually ill preventing the elderly from seeing doctors
People’s vote only for people who can pronounce “quinoa”
Rugby player realises bizarre sideways run-up to kick ball is a stupid idea
Starving African boy complains of ‘white saviour narrative’
Full list of subs below with tickers to be found in the chat room.
acidcirus
Bob the Builder Accused of Making Builders Appear Competent
Adrian Bamforth
Lenny Henry accused of acting as ‘patronising saviour’ in Premier Inn ads
A.Mantra
Barristers to conclude cross-examination with a mic drop
Becoming a government ‘trade dealer’ – A brief guide
Coffee shop tense after man produces Windows laptop instead of a MacBook
Delayed trains now to be described as ‘fashionably late’
Elderly man on park bench actually an MI6 agent
Family holiday in peril after Facebook posts receive lukewarm response
How to run your family business like a mafia boss – A handy guide
Hungover man barely holding it together in Ikea
Inquiry launched into ‘prolonged toweling’ by men in changing rooms
Man believes yellow fuel warning light is ‘just a suggestion’
Man buys fishing waders instead of milk from Aldi
Man on first date inexplicably asks for wine list
Man pushing double-buggy on parkrun ‘racking up serious body-count’
Man who hogged middle-lane given jail term
May to replace meaningful vote with trial by combat
May: ‘UK could still have to take part in Eurovision’
Woman held captive by WhatsApp Group
Benvoleo
‘I’ve been booted out of my job’, says man who’d handed in and served his notice
Bonjonelson
Government allowed to change their mind on Brexit bill, but not British people
Bravenewmalden
Devizes man looking forward to not voting again
Chipchase
4-hour A&E target replaced with ‘survival of the fittest’
Britbox talks collapse over Ant and Dec involvement
DUP expecting ‘May’s deal’ to include the ‘mother of all magic trees’
Escape to the Country in social media storm
May: ‘I had personality bypass surgery’
National Lottery and Waitrose announce new joint initiative
Sitcom star to star in sitcom
Super saleswoman ‘Surly Shirley’ receives top retail award
UK music shops introduce ban on popular guitar audition pieces
Chris Grayling to abstain from cock ups for Lent
Man described as legend actually doing fairly mundane things
Mate insisting on referring to basic cookery tips as ‘food hacking’
PM seeks Nickelback’s advice on making same old shite appear different
Deceangli
Man who randomly called ‘heads’ now willing to defend his decision to the death
Dick Everyman
Shock as customer leaves banana bunch intact
Dominic_mcg
Office worker still unsure whether to talk about rugby or football today
Gerontius
Getting a new Earl – just like ‘winning the lottery’, says humble peasant-folk of Forfar
May rejects link between dead greenhouse plants and lack of water
GrahamB
EU Leaders agree extension until “just after May leaves”
Hindari Banga
May seeks to resolve problems with “megavote”
Mick Turate
Grayling in second sensational space deal with Seaborne
Milo Shame
Daniel Day Lewis to take lead in Karen Bradley Biopic
Meaningful vote three to be renamed Jennifer
MzWibble
Teenager refuses to go out without a nice umbrella
Newsbiscuit Editorial Team
April Fools’ Day to coincide with Brexit
New study claims Gandalf and Dumbledore are one and the same person
PM to get MPs to vote on each individual word in her deal
Sajid Javid to strip UK brides of EU citizenship
nickb
Arlene Foster ‘window shopping for expensive new handbag.’
Backstop provision to merge with offside rule
Grayling and Bradley: The Podcast
Shit Creek paddle company ‘liquidated’
Oxbridge
Billy Brittain’s three-year mid-life crisis still dragging on
Soap fans divided over plans to kill off ‘Theresa May’ character
SaraTtipper
Man unwittingly ushers in spring by eating the last of the Christmas Twiglets
Scribbler
MPs reject the absence of denial of a deal-less Brexit
Sir Lupus
Barista applies for tax exemption for ‘performing a persona’ at work
Titus
20 days later and hopes are fading fast of finding The Independent Group alive
Brexit is an anagram of Brexit
Brexit – was all a dream
Last General Election ‘Did Not Really Count’
Remainers favour a Grayling Brexit
Tonymc81
Brexit ‘turd’ set for Trafalgar Square’s fourth plinth
Christmas may be delayed or never happen warns Theresa May
Electoral Commission to investigate bloke down the pub.
Enough is enough, say Brexiteers
Gordon Ramsay’s to be awarded first Domestos star
‘I’m a Belieber’ says Vicar
Jobs for the Boys
Leavers plan Sunderland street party for March 29th
No nooky for Rees-Mogg during Lent
One of our MPs is missing
Police Chiefs take Chancellor’s advice
Wrenfoe
May can’t even resign properly
Mueller concludes no Russian collusion, voters are ‘just dumb’
Momo video was just Chris Grayling explaining Brexit
Pentagon border wall to have ‘frickin lasers!’
Shock as anti-depressant use ONLY doubles
s/
Success, as 3 million of the 16 million original remainers still support remain
Tom Watson asks for your kitten pics
Woman breaks and finally joins Amazon Prime
YaBasta
Amber Rudd apologises for not using correct term ‘person of darkness’
BBC accidentally shows Good Morning Britain pilot instead of new Alan Partridge show
Celeb ruins branded product by actually having something to do with making it
Film classification now to include pretentiousness rating
Having voted to ban umbrellas, MPs vote for it not to rain
Heroin now legal if sold with slogan “When the fun stops, stop”
Karen Bradley: ‘I didn’t realise Northern Ireland was in the north of Ireland’
New John Le Carre thriller to be called ‘Tinker, Tailor, Unemployed, Deliveroo’
Number of black senior police officers now as high as in 70’s TV shows
People who are actually ill preventing the elderly from seeing doctors
People’s vote only for people who can pronounce “quinoa”
Rugby player realises bizarre sideways run-up to kick ball is a stupid idea
Starving African boy complains of ‘white saviour narrative’
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