August 18 WOTM final

Well it was a photo finish of sorts, with Chip romping in on 33 points, hounded by relative newbie Myke on 32.  Thanks to the Wren Rule, that no contributor can win the WOTM competition two month on the bounce it means that Myke is our new WOTM - congrats to Myke, a terrific start.

Titus, although a fair way behind in third place, has had one of his strongest months yet - well done Titus.  Congrats to everyone else who has contributed and placed.

The full list of FP, NiB and LA links is reproduced below and the full list of tickers will be listed on the thread in the chat room.



A. L. Shaw 

England to appeal ‘no deal’ World Cup loss

apepper 

Discovery of Welsh skeletons at Stonehenge “proves Wales was a dump even then”

Drought reveals ancient henge in Wales and glimpse of Johnson’s integrity

Man’s fury at incorrect number plate in Ant-Man and the Wasp

Benvoleo 

No-deal Brexit breaks EU laws, say MPs giving up UK’s right to take EU to court

Bravenewmalden 

Man briefly considers making observation about Anti-Semitism

Candide

‘No Healthy Level of Church Attendance’ Major Study Finds

Chipchase 

As Pope upgrades holy relic, priests release grime mix of My Lovely Horse

CBI issues best practice guidelines for awkward lift journeys

Daily Mail gets nod for Man Booker long list

‘Dr Who is a bit shit’ says survey

Elvis, JFK and John Wayne to be canonised following shock Vatican announcement

Grylls and Mears slammed as ‘completely irrelevant’ in new media study

ITV bosses pin hopes on ‘A Bucket of Shite’ for Autumn schedule dominance

ITV in disarray now Love Island has finished

NewsBiscuit’s handy guide on how to write an obituary for a famous person

Teacher brags that end-of-term gifts included a Mini Clubman Convertible

Trump to host, judge and receive new ‘Greatest American’ annual award

Chrisf

Dad in stable condition after asking for ‘boot cut’ fit jeans in River Island

Theresa May buys up all the gaps in Toblerones to shore up Brexit strategy

CulchaVulcha 

Tories launch investigation into exactly what kind of cnut Boris Johnson is.

DGreen 

Mary Poppins appointed new governor of HMP Birmingham

NetFlix blamed for ‘empty’ enclosures at troubled monkey attraction

Pope pledges to fight paedo priests on Papal view

Dominic_mcg

Lib Dems to introduce nationwide “opt out scheme” to choose new leader

fletcher 

Carragher signs lucrative sponsorship deal with Chewits

Government to carpet pavements so homeless can be swept under them

Realistic UK drinking guidelines say: ‘Go for it!’

Gerontius

‘We could still rip your throat out’ warn dogs

‘More misery for lettuce lovers’ warns CEBR

 Windsor man admits ‘brandished beheading sword’ but didn’t think he was involved

harrypalmer

‘Drug lord motivates gang to win turf war using slick PowerPoint presentation

Mum buys gang-member son Nike balaclava to stop him getting the sniffles

 ‘No I don’t want a flyer for your f**king improv show’ confirms Edinburgh man

Jonny Shlep

Jonny Shlep - BBC Sport in successful bid to screen Arsene Wenger having an afternoon nap

‘Being shaken by the lapels has damaged my health’ says Eastenders’ Ian Beale

Macattack1964 

Apple`s victory In first Trillion Dollar company race marred by doping scandal

Cost Of Adopting A Snow Leopard ‘Rising Faster Than Wages

Laughing Policeman sacked after testing positive for monkey dust

Richard III Levied With Astronomical Fine For Over Stay At Leicester Car Park

Mother

Liam Fox says ‘falling off a cliff is more likely when you step over the edge’.

Parliament may ban ‘people who look like hayricks or heaps of straw’

Myke 

Coughing badgers ‘stockpiling weapons’

Corporate manager runs idea up flagpole and accidentally hangs himself

Detectorist Unearths 5000 Year Old Satirical Joke

Middle Class Parents Buy Houses in Best Cocaine Catchment Areas

Poll shows 52% of Brits favour a Zombie Apocalypse

Teen massacre in deserted farmhouse. Evil spirit helps police with enquiries

Terror in Brighton as rival nudists and surfers fight on the beach

Workers must wear nappies to boost efficiency

MzWibble 

French wine importer refuses to leave the EU

Newsbiscuit Editorial Team 

Bono grants an audience to Pope Francis during upcoming Irish visit

Hodge says claims that she used bad language are ‘f$cking ridiculous’

Love Island beckons for Macron & May

NewsBiscuit’s guide to modern gastronomy and fine dining

nickb 

Detectives call for bigger noticeboards as crime gets more complicated

G4 hit squad sent in to deal with ‘out of control’ Conservative party

Isle of Wight tandem hi jacker ‘acted alone’.

Nojworth 

British burglars protest against Chilean gang

Paul L 

Photocopier engineers dying ‘quicker than usual’ due to UK’s high temperatures

StanleyMizaru  

Climate change deniers issue ‘wrap up warm’ advice

Sydalg 

Royal Family to be eaten to save money

Suspicions grow about man who found seven corpses while walking dog

Terry Bunn 

DIY operations could be answer to NHS staff shortages

Government to set limits on size of hen party inflatable penises

Met Office upgrades to Windows

Throngsman 

Amazon ‘concerned about scam email messages from HMRC’

Boris to direct next Bond movie; ‘Leave and Let Die’

Brexit: The Movie

Ryanair satisfaction ratings soar as strike action bites

Weeds take out a class action against Monsanto

Titus 

Fortnite update spam – reaches critical point of incoherency

Prisoners Demand Payment For Running Prison

Who put the Dum in the Referendum?

Vertically Challenged Giant 

Man who crashed stolen plane appointed head of Brexit strategy

Wrenfoe

Man Utd board back Liam Fox

No-deal Brexit plan ‘mainly involves rats’

Popes to be elected using Vape

Theresa May’s dancing sparks international protest

Tories confirm Aaron Banks ‘not dead enough’ to join party

Woman fined for wearing a niqab but double-denim goes unpunished

YaBasta 

A-level students baffled by use of alphabet to report record results

Boris Johnson posted resignation letter in Muslim woman’s face

Brexit could be settled on penalties 

 Court finds Ben Stokes to be rather good at cricket

Danny Boyle sacked after making Bond a Scottish junkie

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