July WOTM final

Well, it couldn't be much closer, with Chip and DavidH slugging it out right to the end.  Chip managed to take the lead decisively on the last day, but David didn't let it go without a struggle. David shares an honour with Chrisf - both scored in every category of the month.  Well done Chip, commiserations to DavidH, congrats to everyone who scored any points at all.



apepper 

Cave rescue latest: divers now searching for last of Boris’s integrity

Bookiesfriend 

Fears grow that Ross Kemp may explode if England reach World Cup Final

Chipchase 

Agenda for Cabinet Crunch Brexit Meeting at Chequers

 Jacob Rees-Mogg demands the Penny-farthing be part of the PE curriculum.

Metallica to play at Prince Louis christening

 Met Office issues amber warning for normal weather







Trump demands Russia give fancy cathedral back to Disney


Chrisf 

Ban on references to standpipes and 1976 drought imminent, says government

Burger King twice as satisfying when bought at service station, confirms study

Leaked! Full Donald Trump itinerary for U.K. visit

Man sentences pan to yet another cycle in the dishwasher

DavidH 

Birmingham lamp-post conquerer ‘high’ from Magic Beans


England football team seemingly relaxed under pressure of rescuing economy


Grayling hands national train services over to nerd in attic

 Jodrell Bank loses cockney rhyming status to TSB



Editor 

Ministers’ leaving party was ‘model of unity and competent organisation’ says PM


fletcher


harrypalmer 

Isn’t Wimbledon interesting this year, says Scotland


Johnny Schlep




Macattack1964 

Treasure Hoard Of Anglo-Saxon Language Unearthed On Live TelevisionMandy Lifeboat 

Public Health England’s latest hot weather advice as Britain swelters…

Midfield Diamond  

 Big Sam called in to rescue stricken football team

Trump ‘still not out of the wouldn’ts’

Milo Shame 

Advertising feature: Gluten-free Brexit Cake now available

Mother

 Football denied entry to UK by Home Office Officials

Newsbiscuit Editorial Team 

West Midlands grandmother wows Masterchef with ‘cabbage three ways’

nickb 

 Cabinet close to consensus on biscuits as Chequers crunch talks loom

Oblongscone 

 Home Office admin error means England Flag wont be racist again until Wednesday

Oxbridge 

 Brexit Trousers – by Madness

 CO2 shortage proves there’s no global warming, say morons

Paul L 

Southeastern rail longlisted for Man Booker prize

Sir Lupus 

 Public Notice: Everything happening in England this evening cancelled

Skylarking 

‘I’ve just resigned, you know’ Boris Johnson reminds disinterested nation

Squudge 

 Huge inflatable baby seen flapping above London actually Boris Johnson


Sydalg 

 Elon Musk claims exclusive rights to all future disaster victims

God admits to creating Universe ‘except that bit in south Norfolk’

 Royal Mail introduces password access to your letterbox

Time running out for people boasting they know nothing about football


Throngsman 



Titus

Amazement as ‘Magic Meters’ fail to create electricity out of thin air

Bored Britons Wake Up To Yet Another Tedious Day Of Relentless Bright Sunshine

New Giant Space Microscope Will Bring New Insights

Wrenfoe 

 Boys trapped in Thai cave say it’s still ‘better’ than Centre Parcs

Couple in critical condition after being exposed to ‘pure Brexit

Elon Musk to rescue May from Brexit hole

Heat overtakes Brexit as the conversation you don’t want to have

Johnson resignation triggers World Cup victory celebrations

Lib Dems in favour of proportional not voting



Sir Cliff to spend his winnings on a living doll

Tempur tantrums in SW19 as Storm Serena sweeps through

Tory ‘pairing’ system fails to match socks


YaBasta 

‘Cheryl relationship’ to be adopted as new unit of timekeeping

Embarrassment as England team’s flight home already booked

Jeremy Hunt leaves Mongolian ambassador waiting on trolley in corridor


New Brexit secretary resigns before getting to his office

New dating app for the elderly, Greyndr, released in Isle of Wight

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