May 2018 WOTM final result

Congratulations to DavidH for topping the leaderboard this month.  A really strong suite of subs for David against strong opposition from Wren, Syd, Daneade, Chip, Dom and Mac.  Well done all.  As usual all the posts that have made front page, nes in brief and left alert this month are listed below as hyperlinks, and the full list of 105 tickers is listed on the Chat Room thread.



Benvoleo
May leaves polling booth without voting, saying she’ll decide in a few days time

 Bravenewmalden

 Skateboarder in bid to find man who witnessed successful trick

 Chipchase

Bloke you meet in office kitchen every day is sapping your will to live

 Heston Blumenthal announces ‘Ultimate Deconstruction Dining’


 ‘It’s brand new… it’s Brexitroo’ – delivered daily directly to your door

 ‘It’s too warm!’ Heatwave sees OAPs stretch A&E Departments to breaking-point

 Man to sue after encountering ‘ghastly and common people’ on Caribbean cruise

 Ministers move to ban ludicrous restaurant dishes

 ‘Trump and close aides are escaped Westworld hosts’ claims FBI source

Virulent outbreak of Sycophantois has nation’s broadcasters in its grip




East Coast Main Line to be run by O’Jays

Heston Blumenthal creates ‘toxic caterpillar curry’

 Home Office issues L.A.V.A. guidelines for volcanic eruptions

 London sex workers remain cash-based to avoid innuendo

 May and Hammond car-boot RBS shares

 Morrissey announces Smiths to reform for Harry and Meghan’s evening do

 North Korea and Tesco merge to create Teskorea


UKIP bounce back with ‘Experience Days’ for the public

 UK to distribute, ‘In case of employment’ leaflets

 Deceangli 

 Painting squares around potholes ‘almost as good as filling them in’ say experts

 Dominic_mcg

 Arsenal set to appoint Dick Emery as manager.

 Gerontius 

 Footballer defends ‘penis’ tattoo

 Kabirgaryali

Archbishop admits Dr Dre song quelled celibacy concerns

 James Pluside 

 Trains so delayed, they will become tomorrow’s on time service

 Macattack1964

Chinese TV Channel Bans School Choir Rendition Of ‘I Can Sing A Rainbow’

 Evangelical Christian Bakery refuses order for Fairy Cakes

 If Isaac Newton Was Such a Genius, Then Why Didn`t He Invent The Internet?

 North Korean Nuclear Test Site Too Unstable for KerPlunk, Say Geologists

Questions British Workers Dread Every Tuesday Following A Bank Holiday


 Vowels to strike in protest at txt spk

 You Owe Us! Zebras Demand Crossing Over Crocodile Infested Waters

 Midfield Diamond

Wembley Royal Box tickets for FA Cup Final available from Prince Andrew

 Mowens

Boris Johnson resigns over ‘unintentional transparency’

Newsbiscuit Editorial Team

Theresa May blames everything on ‘the boogie’

Paul L


Sydalg

Driverless cars to take instructions from back seat


Health and Safety regulations driving vampires ‘batty’

Rees-Mogg posed as 84-year-old on Facebook to chat to ‘unsuspecting’ pensioner


Titus




Tonymc81


Wrenfoe 



 UKIP to advise Greens on picking new leader


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