September WOTM competition week 1

One week in and we have three writers, Daneade, Dick Everyman and Wrenfoe vying for the lead position, with YB close on their heels.  Just a little further behind we have Jonny Shlep and Chrisf, with Titus bringing in a creditable four points.  Truly anybody's game so far this month.

Adrian Bamforth

Duke and Duchess of Cambridge threaten to launch new offensive monarch


Who or What exactly is Jacob Rees-Mogg?


Don’t Sweat the Big Stuff’ – and its all big stuff. By David Davis MP


Elderly German ‘Queen’ faces deportation from UK

Wayne Rooney Building £2 Million Pound ‘Doghouse’ Extension

Wayne Rooney to retire from drinking

Dick Everyman

Alan Titchmarsh chosen to build Mexican border wall prototype

USA abandons the tired and the poor huddled masses for wealthy old white men

Jonny Shlep

America’s Vagrant Population Cheered by Latest Economic Growth Figures

McGregor challenges Dalai Lama to megabucks ‘pray-off’


Back teeth fed up with being fed up to.


Schr√∂dinger’s cat simultaneously dead and alive because fuck you, that’s why


Particle physicists believe airline luggage provides evidence of Superposition

World to be saved by repainting all cars green


Vowels to be reintroduced in Eastern Europe


Penicillin clears up Fox News

Rees-Mogg opposed to contraception but ‘will cum on your tits’

Theresa May reboots with ‘training montage’


Duchess of Cambridge asks ‘Can I stop now?’

McDonald’s workers complain about their jobs, told ‘Well, duh’

Noch Verschraubt, Pet


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