August WOTM week 1 & 2

Apologies for the lateness of the first report for the month of August, but I've had a bit of a break away.  Now back in the driving seat of the unofficial writer of the month competition it looks like we have three writers at the top - Daneade, Jonny Shlep and Wrenfoe, but of course the house rule is that as Wren currently carries the virtual mug around he can't win August.  It might ound rough, but it was suggested by the mighty Wren himself.

Just on their tails are Dominic_mcg and Oxy, both a point behind the leaders. As usual, without taking anything away from Oxy, I'm immensely impressed when pure ticker writers like Mr MCG battle their way up the leader board.

There's a couple of us, Al Opecia and myself, only two points be3hind the leaders, so it's clear there's everything to write for in this month's competition.




Adrian Bamforth

All service station food to be edible by 2040

Apepper

Rioters to phase out petrol bombs by 2040

Bravenewmalden

‘Overcrowded prisons’ shortlisted for Annual News Story of the Year award

Painting bought for £1.50 at car boot sale turns out to be ‘worthless’

Chrisf

Achilles’ weaknesses actually trashy TV and Lloyd-Webber musicals, files reveal

Daneade

Conor McGregor to negotiate Brexit

Disaster for British pervs as sex robots become self-aware

Daneade and Apepper

Prince Philip to become professional troll

Dick Everyone

Out now! ‘The Expert’s Guide to Whitewashing’ by Sarah Huckabee Sanders

Jeffrey

New series of CSI Isle of Wight starts tonight

Jonny Shlep

Outcry at Arsenal plans to stage dog fights during half-time interval

Neymar: Finally, I feel secure enough financially to sign up to Amazon Prime

Portuguese TV company shelve plans for A Place In The Pissing Rain series

Lloydie

Vomiting bug hits a number of armchair athletes at the World Championships

Marie Maurer

Office worker’s weekend was “quite quiet, actually”

Milo Shame

Careers Officer to be awarded the Victoria Cross

NaffLaff

Panini stickers looking to strike UK trading deal

Nice Admin Lady & Milk Marketing Board

Mum accidentally exposes a massive tit working at the V&A Museum

Oxbridge

Man accepts own mortality after standing next to his son at urinal

Smart Alex

US chlorine-washed chicken least of our worries, admit Brits

Throngsman

Emotions run high as duct tape repair enters seventh year

Mary Berry held on counter terrorism charge

Prince of Wales revealed as ‘Banksy’

Titus

Football Club Considers Breeding Genetically Modified Players Instead Of Buying Them

Underconstruction

Hopes fade for caravanning family down to last board game

Wrenfoe

National Trust celebrates ‘Heterosexual Shame Weekend’

North Korea asks – Do you feel lucky? Well? Do ya, punk?

Student describes Pesto as ‘transformative’

YaBasta

Scientists discover new particle, the Scaramuccion

Trump explains he is “hipster president” with “pop-up senior staff”

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