Unofficial Newsbiscuit Writer of the Month Competition

Chippy did it again, pulling well clear of Titus.  Some great subs this month, keep it up. A.Mantra  Bear Grylls awarded OBE for services to voluntarily doing rank sh*t apeppe r  65 year old man confesses; ‘I wasn’t Kung Foo fighting’ Mud shortage hits summer festivals Benvoleo  MP’s to stop voting as the people already voted in the referendum Bravenewmalden  D-Day ‘best day ever’, veteran recalls Bunbury  Johnson promises garden bridge for every city Chipchase  Boris: ‘I once did something selfless but I’m not proud of it’ Britain’s Moron Threat changed to ‘moderate’ following Trump’s departure Documents discovered on train ‘not ours’ insists Farage Exclusive: Trump’s letter to Kim Good vet gets lamb back up on its feet  Jo Brand is the one we are scared of? Really? Johnson in last gasp attempt to acquire a shred of integrity Man shatters record after being on hold to DWP call centre for five years Row ...

Chips well in the lead but, and this is a code red alert, Titus is in a strong second place.  Looking like an interesting second half of the month as we ride to the final. A.Mantra  Bear Grylls awarded OBE for services to voluntarily doing rank sh*t apepper  65 year old man confesses; ‘I wasn’t Kung Foo fighting’ Benvoleo  MP’s to stop voting as the people already voted in the referendum Bravenewmalden  D-Day ‘best day ever’, veteran recalls Chipchase  Boris: ‘I once did something selfless but I’m not proud of it’ Britain’s Moron Threat changed to ‘moderate’ following Trump’s departure Documents discovered on train ‘not ours’ insists Farage Good vet gets lamb back up on its feet  Jo Brand is the one we are scared of? Really? Johnson in last gasp attempt to acquire a shred of integrity Man shatters record after being on hold to DWP call centre for five years Row over un-pre-ripped jeans sees woman ostracised Trump st...

Congrats to Wren for taking the virtual crown this month, commiserations to Chippy for a gallant flank attack on Wren's position .  Links to all the subs below the leaderboard and tickers, as always, in the chat room. A.Mantra  Government’s Withdrawal Agreement shortlisted for Turner prize Man alone at the cinema, now wishing he’d not worn a trench-coat Acidcirus  Brexit writers blamed for poor end to Theresa May arc Adrian Bamforth  Biscuit heiress’ comments ‘not Nice’ ISIS release latest Game of Prophets episode apepper  Doctors run out of body parts to describe Tory leadership candidates ‘End of coal linked to blindness’ claim snowmen ‘Gove accuses Gove of treachery for trying to overturn 2016 leadership election Bravenewmalden  ‘arst’ or it could be ‘ersb’ tagger strikes again Dulux marketing team ‘still giggling’ over One Coat product name Local elections signal return to ‘not giving a shit’ for Brexit voters Chip...