May 2019 WOTM competition final
Congrats to Wren for taking the virtual crown this month, commiserations to Chippy for a gallant flank attack on Wren's position . Links to all the subs below the leaderboard and tickers, as always, in the chat room.
A.Mantra
Government’s Withdrawal Agreement shortlisted for Turner prize
Man alone at the cinema, now wishing he’d not worn a trench-coat
Acidcirus
Brexit writers blamed for poor end to Theresa May arc
Adrian Bamforth
Government’s Withdrawal Agreement shortlisted for Turner prize
Man alone at the cinema, now wishing he’d not worn a trench-coat
Acidcirus
Brexit writers blamed for poor end to Theresa May arc
Adrian Bamforth
ISIS release latest Game of Prophets episode
apepper
Doctors run out of body parts to describe Tory leadership candidates
‘End of coal linked to blindness’ claim snowmen
‘Gove accuses Gove of treachery for trying to overturn 2016 leadership election
Bravenewmalden
‘arst’ or it could be ‘ersb’ tagger strikes again
Dulux marketing team ‘still giggling’ over One Coat product name
Local elections signal return to ‘not giving a shit’ for Brexit voters
Chipchase
0.27% of electorate choosing next PM definitely ‘will of the people’ say Tories
ANALYSIS – 3 year-old Ollie on Gavin Williamson’s fall from grace
EastEnders chase ratings with a plot that’s out of this world
ITV shake up sees Good Morning Britain name change and move to Kyle’s old slot
Mears and Grylls serve no purpose whatsoever, says study
Model maker’s next project is out of this world
Online petition launched calling for total rewrite of Last of the Summer Wine
Shock change of heart sees colleagues reassess May’s performance
Sound quality slammed as fans can hear Spice Girls singing
Chrisf
Colleague definitely going to use animations in PowerPoint presentation
KFC baked beans ‘ashamed of itself’
Missed it? Theresa May’s 10 point Brexit statement in full
Put socks back on now, men urged
Tigers confirm plans to continue coming round for tea
curiousmatt
Man admits to watching a single episode of Game of Thrones after all
Deceangli
Earth seeks new advertising agency
Jeremy Kyle to be replaced with a psycho clown slashing puppies live on air
Des Custard
Trials of ‘Paper Money’ successful
Dick Everyman
Alabama legalizes sodomy to prevent abortions
Chelsea Flower Show judges divided over Brexit themed garden entry
Quentin Tarantino to release his bad-ass-elderly-chick movie ‘Bride of Brexit’
Eddie_modern
Spontaneous selfie attempt still ongoing on Brighton beachfront
Editor
Chris Grayling to stand in Liberal leadership race
Farmer Giles
Mark Francois livid at not being handed Ministry of Defence portfolio
Gary Stanton
Entire UK turns vegan after milkshakes found to contain Tommy Robinson
Glardy
Boris Johnson confirms his hand puppet will run for Tory Leadership
New Dating App launched for people who want to remain single
Grumblechops
Leave voters furious that Farage won’t be their local councillor
John Roughty
National Milkshake Association sends ‘thoughts and prayers’ to Farage
Newsbiscuit
Man who posted Line of Duty spoilers on Twitter ‘probably taking a long nap under patio’, says wife
Middle-aged man delighted with Bank Holiday ‘pressure washer knob drawing’ weather
Royal baby to blame for literally everything, says internet
Newsbiscuit Editorial Team
Crime to be nationalised under Labour
Man who now takes the Daily Mail regarded as a cock by nearly everyone
‘Real people answering phones is the future’
List of other foodstuffs vying to be thrown over Farage
Paul L
European elections ‘not as good as they once were’ say voters
Sarah Tipper
Almost everyone unsure why we’ve got Spring Bank Holiday
Most Voters Only Doing It In Case They See A Dog At The Polling Station
Sugar Ray
Brexit: PM prepares to ‘scour all fonts’ to get support for deal
Throngsman
Bolton Cenotaph found in breach of GDPR
Game of Thrones finale ‘ruined’ by Brexit fudge
Greggs vegan sausage rolls ‘made from actual vegans’
Post Brexit Britain will solve Climate Change, say Brexit scientists
Titus
Margaret Thatcher to stand for Tory leadership
Wrenfoe
‘Bird-nets’ secretly hiding hedge-hair
Cat is sure you’ll prefer her anus to your newspaper
Celebrities advised to stop having ‘thick’ kids
Emmeline Pankhurst to star as Jess Phillips, in biopic of Jess Phillips
Fascism is not lactose intolerant
Gavin Williamson asks if Ecuador still has a spare room?
Government to re-nationalize Chris Grayling
Jeremy Kyle to appear on Jeremy Kyle Show
apepper
Doctors run out of body parts to describe Tory leadership candidates
‘End of coal linked to blindness’ claim snowmen
‘Gove accuses Gove of treachery for trying to overturn 2016 leadership election
Bravenewmalden
‘arst’ or it could be ‘ersb’ tagger strikes again
Dulux marketing team ‘still giggling’ over One Coat product name
Local elections signal return to ‘not giving a shit’ for Brexit voters
Chipchase
0.27% of electorate choosing next PM definitely ‘will of the people’ say Tories
ANALYSIS – 3 year-old Ollie on Gavin Williamson’s fall from grace
EastEnders chase ratings with a plot that’s out of this world
ITV shake up sees Good Morning Britain name change and move to Kyle’s old slot
Mears and Grylls serve no purpose whatsoever, says study
Model maker’s next project is out of this world
Online petition launched calling for total rewrite of Last of the Summer Wine
Shock change of heart sees colleagues reassess May’s performance
Sound quality slammed as fans can hear Spice Girls singing
Chrisf
Colleague definitely going to use animations in PowerPoint presentation
KFC baked beans ‘ashamed of itself’
Missed it? Theresa May’s 10 point Brexit statement in full
Put socks back on now, men urged
Tigers confirm plans to continue coming round for tea
curiousmatt
Man admits to watching a single episode of Game of Thrones after all
Deceangli
Earth seeks new advertising agency
Jeremy Kyle to be replaced with a psycho clown slashing puppies live on air
Des Custard
Trials of ‘Paper Money’ successful
Dick Everyman
Alabama legalizes sodomy to prevent abortions
Chelsea Flower Show judges divided over Brexit themed garden entry
Quentin Tarantino to release his bad-ass-elderly-chick movie ‘Bride of Brexit’
Eddie_modern
Spontaneous selfie attempt still ongoing on Brighton beachfront
Editor
Chris Grayling to stand in Liberal leadership race
Farmer Giles
Mark Francois livid at not being handed Ministry of Defence portfolio
Gary Stanton
Entire UK turns vegan after milkshakes found to contain Tommy Robinson
Glardy
Boris Johnson confirms his hand puppet will run for Tory Leadership
Grumblechops
Leave voters furious that Farage won’t be their local councillor
John Roughty
National Milkshake Association sends ‘thoughts and prayers’ to Farage
Newsbiscuit
Man who posted Line of Duty spoilers on Twitter ‘probably taking a long nap under patio’, says wife
Middle-aged man delighted with Bank Holiday ‘pressure washer knob drawing’ weather
Royal baby to blame for literally everything, says internet
Newsbiscuit Editorial Team
Crime to be nationalised under Labour
Man who now takes the Daily Mail regarded as a cock by nearly everyone
‘Real people answering phones is the future’
nickb
List of other foodstuffs vying to be thrown over Farage
Paul L
European elections ‘not as good as they once were’ say voters
Sarah Tipper
Almost everyone unsure why we’ve got Spring Bank Holiday
Most Voters Only Doing It In Case They See A Dog At The Polling Station
Sugar Ray
Brexit: PM prepares to ‘scour all fonts’ to get support for deal
Throngsman
Bolton Cenotaph found in breach of GDPR
Game of Thrones finale ‘ruined’ by Brexit fudge
Greggs vegan sausage rolls ‘made from actual vegans’
Post Brexit Britain will solve Climate Change, say Brexit scientists
Titus
Margaret Thatcher to stand for Tory leadership
Wrenfoe
‘Bird-nets’ secretly hiding hedge-hair
Cat is sure you’ll prefer her anus to your newspaper
Celebrities advised to stop having ‘thick’ kids
Emmeline Pankhurst to star as Jess Phillips, in biopic of Jess Phillips
Fascism is not lactose intolerant
Gavin Williamson asks if Ecuador still has a spare room?
Government to re-nationalize Chris Grayling
Jeremy Kyle to appear on Jeremy Kyle Show
‘Spoiler Alert! George RR Martin doesn’t know how GOT ends either
Spurs & Liverpool both plan to be 4-0 down by half-time
Theresa May to ‘finish with a song’
Trump administration rebrands coal as ‘Liberty Nuggets’
YaBasta
Chinese government fights for Huawei for no reason at all
Concerns over infrastructure contract going to Newcastle-based firm Howay
First woman Defence Secretary introduces passive aggressive defence policy
Godzilla sequel “nothing but noisy special effects”, say astonished critics
Man’s feeling of smugness for voting Green set to continue indefinitely
Spurs & Liverpool both plan to be 4-0 down by half-time
Theresa May to ‘finish with a song’
Trump administration rebrands coal as ‘Liberty Nuggets’
YaBasta
Chinese government fights for Huawei for no reason at all
Concerns over infrastructure contract going to Newcastle-based firm Howay
First woman Defence Secretary introduces passive aggressive defence policy
Godzilla sequel “nothing but noisy special effects”, say astonished critics
Man’s feeling of smugness for voting Green set to continue indefinitely
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