WOTM July 2022
It's been a three way fight this month between the might Wren, SteveB and yours truly, with Wren coming on top. As usual links to the FPs, NiBs and Features (AKA left alert) below the leader board. Also further down is information for the Cartoon of the month and, of course, the full ticker list.
apepper
As Nadine offered peerage, the country asks "What on Earth did she see Boris doing?"
Boris resignation speech "eerily familiar" say ex-wives & mistresses
Number 10 claims that leaving the EU "nothing to do with Brexit"
Poundland to only stock dust, matches and individual toilet paper sheets
Presenters lined up to faint for all future TV debates
Priti Patel orders 10,000 chess robots to break children's fingers
Sunak criticised for only promising one Earth
Sunak promises to only supply unicorns "when we can afford it"
Tories accuse Labour of stealing its "destroy the country" policy
Chipchase
Missing Village Idiot tipped to be next PM
Rats in a Sack demand Tory leadership candidates show them some respect
Shock as Sue Ellen Ewing makes a bid for the keys to No.10
Chrisf
How to run a successful Tory leadership campaign
Mr Bennett from Take Hart offers to form caretaker government
References to summer of 1976 reach record high
Royal Mail to charge Graham Brady per letter delivered
Tory member hugely disappointed with 'blue on blue action' in leadership contest
Danny Soz
Boris Johnson hits back furiously following 'BloJo' incident
DavidH
Treasure trove of bread recipes discovered
Deskpilot3
Bidding war erupts for Boris Johnson’s memoirs to be kept under wraps
Dominic_mcg
Parents furious as kids' summer blockbuster has no adult jokes
eppursimuove
England fan admits the women's game is "the real thing"
Filthy Rich
Discovered smuggling teens to R Kelly: 'still not Ghislaine’s fault'
French customs officials ‘enjoying halcyon new life’ in Rwanda
‘It was nice while it lasted’: Gavin Williamson cancels Lamborghini order
MP’s only wrongdoing was ‘groping on weeknight reserved for leering and coercive texting
Slut-shame nightmare of newly naked Lincoln Cathedral
UK now shaped like giant exclamation mark
FlashArry
Vardite militants "vow to continue the struggle"
Ian Searle
Following the success of passport control checks, Loyalty Stamps to be reintroduced in supermarkets
Jim Skinz
Rees-Mogg rules out throwing his pith helmet into the ring
Lockjaw
Earth's energy supplier to go on strike later today
James Webb telescope images reveal knack all
Russian apologist is 5-year-old boy
Medusatouch
Man in epic party 'believed he was prime minister'
Modelmaker
Advertising Standards Authority takes British Military to task
Demand for cut in price of Daily Mail now it will be using less ink
Missing Crytoqueen may have changed her appearance to be like Carrie Symonds
MP vows to scrap remaining EU laws
Researchers use Tory leadership contest to launch funding bids
Senior Leadership Teams express their dismay at Tory Leader candidates debate
Tories hope to tempt Stuart Hall out of retirement for It's a Knockout stage of leadership election
SimonJMr
Big Dog Big Eats' cookbook launched by Tory party
Sir Lupus
Boris demonstrates how to make a government entirely from left
Met Office issues "boring weather" warning for most of year
StanleyM
Boris Johnson to stand for 1922 Committee executive
I’ll make everybody a non-dom, says Nadhim Zahawi
MPs banned from playing board games on last day before summer recess, says Speaker
Tory members dismayed as televised hi-vis and hard hat outfit round cancelled
SteveB
Boris claiming credit for the vaccine rollout a bit like Debbie McGee taking credit for Harry Potter
Boris Johnson delivered all his promises just like Hannibal Lecter de-livered all his victims
Boris Johnson destroys Peppa Pig World from Typhoon fighter jet
Boris Johnson's happy place is in a fridge in a £150,000 treehouse in Ukraine
Due to heatwave, Cornwall changes name to Popcornwall
Energy crisis solved by spinning magnet made from perpetual sexist and racist Tory Member
Liz Truss prepared to say absolutely anything for Conservative member votes
Prime Minister could have survived if his trousers hadn't fallen down
stewartbarclay
Charles Bronson to use public parole hearing to enter Tory leadership race
Football transfer gossip to replace actual football
Is this the way to Amarillo? No, this is the road to hell
‘More flags needed' for Tory leadership videos
Polio in, abortion out - welcome to the good old days
Radio DJ has consensual relationship with adult female
Scotland shocked to discover it has a cricket team
syntaxerror01
Throngsman
Admiring paunchy middle aged men to become an offence
Conservatives' clean break to be one of two architects of broken government
I saved UK from Russian invasion, claims Sunak
Lewisham man beats record for words to describe 'speechless'
Man happily surprised to find out all fast track places sold at airport
Manc technology - or at least terminology - banned from China
Priti Patel deports Sir Mo Farah to Rwanda
Rishi Sunak and Liz Truss find a fridge large enough for both egos
Starmer added to Tory leadership poll
Titus
Metrology Crisis As Size Of Wales Increases
Walter Eagle
Sturgeon promises Scottish military aid to Ukraine
Will
Tories suceed in having names like evil overlords
Wrenfoe
41C and your Mum can still feel a draft
70s patio listed as UNESCO World Heritage Site
Biden to defeat climate change by shooting it in the face
Face Eating Leopard sets out leadership campaign
Leveling Up: If Liz Truss can be PM any idiot can
LinkedIn can't keep up with Cabinet reshuffle
Liz Truss asks Labour on how to sabotage your own election
Protesters banned from using PAs unless swallowed by Kirstie Allsopp
Starmer officially out of promises to break
Thought banning strikes was bad? Hold my pint, says Starmer
Truss threatens to send refugees to Wakanda
Cartoon of the Month
The cartoon editors have agreed to have cartoon of the month, based on views on the site as opposed to the cartoonist of the month. This month the cartoon of the month is 'The Drawing Room, Downturn Abbey' by Lockjaw. Well done, LJ
Tickers (AKA Headlines)
Adrian Bamforth
All allegations
against Chris Pincher are false, claims fellow MP Steve Grope
Lego brand to be
replaced in Russia by Communist Blocks
apepper
Statue of Johnson
will be sited beside Thatcher's "to save on eggs"
benvoleo
Tory anger that
Starmer didn’t break lockdown rules
Danny Soz
Johnson unaware of
any specific resignations, says Daily Express
Deskpilot3
Already impossible
to speak to anyone at BT, so strike will make no difference
Baker arrested over
online ads for crusty white bloomers
Cut price
proctologists slug it out in race to the bottom
Fussy woodworm
enjoys an occasional table
Impoverished
contortionist can't make ends meet
Scotland cricket
team 448 not out, but still at least a century behind
Tory leadership
announcement put back from September to Hallowe'en
Tory leadership
announcement put back from September to Hallowe'en
UK hotter than
Europe; another Brexit dividend
dominic_mcg
Climate Change
protest called off due to good weather
DJ who everyone
thought had left his radio show decades ago is to leave his radio show
Johnson and Raab to
be replaced by Mick Fleetwood and Samantha Fox
Man putting his
ducks in a row can't decide on alphabetical, colour or size
No case for Labour
returning to power, says Starmer
Granger
#GoNad - Dorrie's
New Slogan To Prove She's Got Balls
My Anti Immigrant
Policy Will Be More Vicious Than Yours, Say Both Sunak & Truss
Ian Searle
Hot weather may
cause delays to rail strikes
Was Boris Johnson a
robot sent from the future to kill Des O'Connor?
iscariot
Wagatha Christie
latest: Coleen v Depp in the final. Rebekah v Heard in 3rd Place play-off
Lockjaw
Outcry as next
leadership debate shown on Cbeebies
micca
Met Office issues
warnings of dangerously hot air as Tory leadership contest nears ends
Mick Turate
Chris Pincher
blames nominative determinism for his actions
Government denies
that hot weather due to high temperatures
Modelmaker
Leadership hopefuls
in bitter fight to deny party members their wishes
oshaughnessy
Birmingham man
underwhelmed by introduction of Bison: 'We've had one in the bathroom for
years'
First time in 300
years that a Rees-Mogg has perambulated outside sans tweed breeches
Leonardo DiCaprio
& Kate Winslet found clinging to railings outside Conservative Party HQ
Nation mourns after
losing its greatest comedy genius
Tom Tugendhat
throws his hat in the ring to become Tom Tugend
robowurzel
Bookies slash odds
of Rebekah Vardy being the next Tory PM
ron cawleyoni
Old Jack leaves
Salty Dog at the helm of the Rainbow now
Sarah Tipper
Everyone having a
cup of tea now because it's going to get too hot to have one until Wednesday
sinnick
Don McLean finally
reveals "America" didn't actually have any hidden meanings at all
Sir Lupus
Snakebites becoming
more common in UK, lager shandy declining
SteveB
45 mph rolling
roadblock protests annoyingly save fuel, lives and make motorways flow
perfectly
67 million people
in queue to be deported to cooler Rwanda
Democracy working
as next corrupt Tory chosen by same corrupt Tories who installed last corrupt
Tory
Heatwave leads to
trend in smoking jackets
stewartbarclay
Charles Bronson to
use public parole hearing to enter Tory leadership race
Collapsing
moderator during Sunak/Truss debate 'captures mood of nation
Sydalg
Boris promises to
tackle infellation
James Webb
telescope spots distant sign saying 'eff off and leave us alone'
World's airports in
chaos as people flock to sunny Britain
Titus
After Vardy
Verdict, Boris Decides Not To Sue Former Cabinet Colleagues For Calling Him A
Liar
Tories undecided
whether to privatise government, or employ agency ministers
Walter Eagle
Liz-or-Rish
Allsorts: What an awful choice
Comments
Post a Comment