WOTM February 2021 mid month

 Myke is leading the pack this month and is looking pretty unassailable  - or is he?



apepper 

Brexit delays import of turd polish

Johnson sets out timetable for U-turns

Trump replaces lawyer with cat

Bonjonelson 

Covid vaccine withdrawn after manufacturers forget to put the autism in

Chipchase 

Boris: ‘reports of snow chaos greatly exaggerated’

Fake covid vaccine ‘not lovely jubbly’ rule magistrates

Chrisf 

All government covid decisions to be based on Matt Damon films, says Hancock

Misuse of the word ‘staycation’ becomes criminal offence

DavidH 

EU vaccine retreat forced by Michael Gove’s hippos

Footballer ordered to go shopping for following covid restrictions

I’ll wait for the vaccine made from Matt Hancock’s tears’, say Brexiteers

Deceangli 

All working-class housing to be made of paraffin wax by 2030

Boris’s vaccine shame: none of his chums profited

Twitter user stayed silent because he had ‘nothing useful to contribute’

Dominic_mcg 

Fans furious after news Captain Sir Tom Moore could be played by a woman

Harry kept his royal lanyard, says Palace spokesman

Young woman forgets to post photos of snow on social media

Editor 

Senate impeachment trial handed over to Jackie Weaver

Filthy Rich 

Excitement as Aung San Suu Kyi relaunches home shopping channel

Government takes action on climate change by setting fire to Cumbria

Top lines for avoiding joyless valentine’s lockdown sex

Gerontius 

10 days in UK Travelodge ‘excessive’ says High Court judge

Dodgy satnav blamed for Stonehenge rock blunder

‘Influencer’ who posted photos of herself comatose in bar criticised by NHS

‘Public might be able to think about holidays once we’ve booked ours’ says Hancock

Max Stars 

Imperial Leather product range to be decolonised

Makers of Oral B products insist there are no Oral A products

Study confirms ‘everybody was kung fu fighting’ claim is largely true

Myke 

Channel 4 launches great bin art challenge

Exports of wishful thinking down by 68%, say hauliers

Russian vaccine 92% effective when placed in underpants

‘They’re all as bad as each other!’ genius at bus stop slams plan to teach kids politics

UAE probe successfully docks with dissident’s genitals

oshaughnessy 

East End virus variant leaves patients with a Cockney accent

Titus 

Scientists working to develop placebo virus

Vertically Challenged Giant 

Geordie considers putting on thicker t-shirt

Wrenfoe 

Report claims Extinction Rebellion infiltrated by environmentalists

Snow day under lockdown a bit ‘samey’

UK terrorism threat level lowered to ‘substantial’ – like a pub meal

VR revolutionizes gaming – and by ‘gaming’ we mean p$rn

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