WOTM Nov 2020 final
Relative newcomer Doctor Chutney has swept the board this month, taking points in all categories. Wren has tried to overtake the good doctor but to no avail.
As usual all the links to FPs, NiBs and LAs are listed below the leaderboard while the tickers can be found in the chat room.
antharrison
Trump accidentally and repeatedly sues himself
apepper
Boris isolated after contact with reality
Dominic Raab puts pressure on Nigerian Royal Family to “deliver on inheritances”.
Benvoleo
Russian health staff shortage sees covid jabs administered by re-trained assassins
Chipchase
Boris: “hands – knees & boomps-a-daisy is new UK slogan in battle against virus”
Chrisf
Cummings’ cardboard box nailed on for best supporting actor award
PM says he now has ‘foot on throat’ of poor covid-19 analogies
Dan.F
Gleeful Boris Johnson welcomes coronavirus self-isolation back with open arms
DavidH
Bank of England releases 150 billion sheets of loo paper
Carrie hires Mystic Meg to fill void at Number 10
Dept of Health blows £11m on Pot Noodles
Dominic Cummings: visionary, super-forecaster, mall Santa
Lee Cain appointed to Gunnersaurus
Military funding hastily approved after child launched from nuclear sub
PPE Startups top kids’ Christmas wish lists
Prius completes left turn in under three hours
Smart motorway sign takes over at track and trace
Siri and Alexa to listen to your "weird dream" so no one else has to
Which self-empowering resolutions will you ditch two days into lockdown?
Deceangli
BBC bans Christmas decorations and God, probably
Home Office to free all the criminals who ‘didn’t mean it’
Netflix ask Boris to affirm that the government is fictitious
US election: results might be in before first Mars landing
Vaccine: Britain orders 1 trillion doses from dormant company in Liechtenstein
Deimos
Biden frantically looking for expert to teach him “Twitter”
Doctor Chutney
2022 Platinum Bank Holiday “is contingent on the Queen surviving until then
Coronavirus delays Martian invasion
Doubts cast on action man’s military record: “not a model soldier”
Home Secretary raises gunpowder threat level
Isle of Wight A3020 named in Michelin roadkill guide
“Just look what we’ve found” BBC discover missing Diana note praising Panorama
Middleman says middleman giving middlemen a poor name
Plucky Brits just fail to beat US in WHO idiocy award
Psychics and mediums face unexpected gridlock of voices from beyond
Dominic_mcg
Boris Johnson appoints H from Steps as new Chief of Staff
China still hasn’t created a disease that could be spread by 6G
Jeremy Corbyn denies ever having had a beard.”
Filthy Rich
Panic-buying Olympics off the blocks in exactly the way you’ll be picturing
FloraJardine
BBC: “US election results in maps and charts”
Gerontius
UK arms industry ‘disappointed’ to find terrorists still using non-British made weapons
MADJEZ
Police raid lockdown-breaking pensioner rave at the Cenotaph
Midfield Diamond
US Presidential election referred to VAR
Milo Shame
Corbyn cancels allotment pyramid plan
NickB
Jingle bells urged to jingle only part of the way.
oshaughnessy
Boris solves climate crisis by installing a giant smart meter on Mount Snowdon
Furious Trump says prayers aren’t working and fires God
Michael Gove to present this year’s Tories in Need appeal
Rees-Mogg says Oxford vaccine is far too posh for beastly northerners
Tory ministers spread festive cheer by releasing Xmas hits album
Trump blames his obesity on clicking ‘accept all cookies’ on his laptop
Trump labs announce game-changing bigly vaccine
Vaccine fiasco after Matt Hancock admits accidentally ordering 100m Tic Tacs
oxbridge
Porn industry ‘on its knees’, asks for bailout
Paul L
Family man asked by family to please return to the office
Sarah Tipper
British Euphemism Council begins rehabilitating the word Trump
Sinnick
Newspapers struggle with headline for US election result
Top Trumps card game manufacturer changes name to Top Bidens for the US market
Sir Lupus
Southerners prefer ballet cos their football teams are shite, says Northern MP
StanleyMizaru
Dido Harding launches NHS hide and seek system
Liberal Democrats are “hoping to learn from Trump’s tactics”
Trump outlines arguments for legal challenges to election result
SteveB
“Luke, I am your father’s gay lover” – a thank you to unsung editors everywhere
Translations of Boris Johnson press briefings to follow several days later
Sydalg
American serial killers getting too fat to do it properly
Throngsman
Government finally admits it has ‘no idea’ why we have daylight saving time
National outpouring of grief as Cummings leaves
Tonymc81
Chancellor insists pain of borrowing still to come
Vertically Challenged Giant
Breakthrough in Brexit talks will see EU retain access to DFS sale
“Priti Patel has my full backing” says Boris Johnson, sporting Chinese burns
Walter Eagle
Johnson admits Test and Trace app actually warned him about Scrofula
Rishi admits, “there’s no business like no business.”
Wrenfoe
Archbishop to use sabbatical to become Scientologist
Being bullied by Priti Patel tops Tory fetish list
Bucket list fails to mention new bucket
Corbyn didn’t shoot the sheriff but he did annoy the board of deputies
Choice of best vaccine may come down to flavour
Cummings quits before Xmas, just in time to become Satan’s little helper
Disappointment the outright winner of US election
Nobody but nobody missing nativity plays this year
Remainers ready to call for second US election
SAGE confirms that teachers are immune to covid – because of ‘tweed’
Sunak announces cut to public sector clapping
Top UCAS points required to get Oxford vaccine
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