WOTM Dec 2020

Mid month we see Wren out in the front being challenged by A.Mantra.  Doctor Chutney's having a go as well, despite already balancing the virtual mug expertly on his medical head.




A.Mantra 

Don’t blame us for this clusterf*ck, say all fish

Men persuaded by Love Actually that stalking your mate’s wife is perfectly fine

Naval commander desperate to sink French trawler fleet

Vaccinated people already growing fish gills, insists idiot

Woman finishes sending Christmas cards to every name in old address book

Woman using ‘super’ as a prefix for everything is ‘super-dead’ inside

apepper 

Supermarkets to introduce virtual food for no-deal Brexit

Benvoleo 

Brexiteers carefully celebrating GB independence, not the end of UK independence

Dan.F 

Millwall fans shocked as football match breaks out at fascist rally

DavidH 

Cher rescues Competition and Markets Authority

Government restricts brussels sprouts to tier 1

Deceangli 

Laurence Fox to retrain as an actor

Doctor Chutney 

‘At risk’ Santa admits dumping millions of kids’ letters

Grave crisis as young buyers unable to get on the burial ladder

Scotch egg recognised as universal gold standard qualification

VR headset offers cramped viewing and violence for nostalgic football fans

Dominic_mcg 

Government to improve daily corona briefing with sleigh bells

Woman ecstatic as Facebook game tells her she’s smarter than Einstein

Gerontius 

Fate of drunken sailor ‘still in the balance’ say NPO

harrypalmer 

Chris Rea seeks urgent clarification on Christmas travel restrictions

Magnanimous remainer accepts full blame for disastrousno-deal brexit

Sainsbury’s unveil new 2-metre long covid-safe Christmas cracker

Ironduke 

Brexiteer demands full English Breaksit

Maxine Jones 

While many have rebelled, the following people have bowed to tier pressure

Max Stars 

William Shakespeare vaccine patient ‘probably an imposter’

Midfield Diamond 

Referees delighted at return of fans after ‘missing abuse’

Milo Shame 

Brexit deadline to clash with cabinet zoom Christmas party

SimoneCleal 

Man backs himself to shop without bag, instantly regrets it

Man travels thousands of miles to eat at ‘Best Kebab’, left furious

Missing girl found attempting to turn on friends new shower

Sir Lupus 

Vaccine not being made in the UK because “we’re a much better country”

SteveB 

Closure of Burton leaves gaping hole in the wear-once court appearance market

Throngsman 

Boy scouts to be trained to administer vaccine

Titus 

Public parks fill with frisky, freshly-released vaccinated octogenarians

Vertically Challenged Giant 

Vaccine rollout delayed after DHL throw first batch over gate

Walter Eagle 

Shock result from Euro Champions final as both sides lose

Wrenfoe 

Beavers building Exmoor dam heralds return of the White Witch

Buy our book – and save a kitten

Man loses soul after failing to read minutes of last meeting

Multi-millionaire footballers are all Marxists

Obama, Bush & Clinton to be injected on TV – but is the death penalty too much?


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