WOTM Nov 2020 mid month


Doctor Chutney is on top form this month, with a clear lead but being chased by Wren and the Big O.  It's a short month, so anyone hoping to steal from the good doctor had better get writing.



antharrison 

Trump accidentally and repeatedly sues himself

Chipchase 

Boris: “hands – knees & boomps-a-daisy is new UK slogan in battle against virus”

Chrisf 

Cummings’ cardboard box nailed on for best supporting actor award

DavidH 

Bank of England releases 150 billion sheets of loo paper

Prius completes left turn in under three hours

Which self-empowering resolutions will you ditch two days into lockdown?

Deceangli 

Trump to star in Home Alone 5

US election: results might be in before first Mars landing

Vaccine: Britain orders 1 trillion doses from dormant company in Liechtenstein

Deimos 

Biden frantically looking for expert to teach him “Twitter”

Doctor Chutney 

Doubts cast on action man’s military record: “not a model soldier”

Home Secretary raises gunpowder threat level

Plucky Brits just fail to beat US in WHO idiocy award

Dominic_mcg 

China still hasn’t created a disease that could be spread by 6G

Filthy Rich 

Panic-buying Olympics off the blocks in exactly the way you’ll be picturing

FloraJardine 

BBC: “US election results in maps and charts”

Gerontius 

UK arms industry ‘disappointed’ to find terrorists still using non-British made weapons

MADJEZ 

Police raid lockdown-breaking pensioner rave at the Cenotaph

Midfield Diamond 

US Presidential election referred to VAR

Milo Shame 

Corbyn cancels allotment pyramid plan

NickB 

Jingle bells urged to jingle only part of the way.

King Canute to sue the sea

oshaughnessy 

Furious Trump says prayers aren’t working and fires God

Michael Gove to present this year’s Tories in Need appeal

Tory ministers spread festive cheer by releasing Xmas hits album

Vaccine fiasco after Matt Hancock admits accidentallyordering 100m Tic Tacs

Sarah Tipper 

British Euphemism Council begins rehabilitating the word Trump

Sinnick 

Newspapers struggle with headline for US election result

Sir Lupus 

Southerners prefer ballet cos their football teams are shite, says Northern MP

StanleyMizaru 

Dido Harding launches NHS hide and seek system

Liberal Democrats are “hoping to learn from Trump’s tactics”

Trump outlines arguments for legal challenges to election result

SteveB 

Translations of Boris Johnson press briefings to follow several days later

Sydalg 

American serial killers getting too fat to do it properly

Throngsman 

Government finally admits it has ‘no idea’ why we have daylight saving time

National outpouring of grief as Cummings leaves

Walter Eagle 

Rishi admits, “there’s no business like no business.”

Wrenfoe 

Cummings quits before Xmas, just in time to become Satan’s little helper

Disappointment the outright winner of US election

Remainers ready to call for second US election

SAGE confirms that teachers are immune to covid – because of ‘tweed’

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Welcome to the Unofficial Newsbiscuit Writer of the Month Competition

If you've strayed onto this blog please note it is being used to keep the monthly results of the Writer's competition run unofficially by myself on behalf of the contributors to the UK's foremost satire news site, Newsbiscuit .  Newsbiscuit was created and is supported by comic genius John O'Farrell to provide a place for aspiring and proven comic writers alike to work in.  This blog is not an official organ of Newsbiscuit and any errors or omissions are mine alone, If you want to get to Newsbiscuit itself (and who wouldn't) then click here . If you fancy having a stab at writing satire (or any form of humour) then the Writer's Room is here .  Please note you have to register with the website before you can contribute.  If you want to read the guidelines for writers, please click here . Most writers write under a pseudonym, partly to be mysterious, mainly to keep their reputations intact.  Top tip - choose a name that is short and, critically, easy for me
Read more

WOTM April 2023

Image
Well, Myke has only gone and done it again, and well deserved too as his Tucker Carlson sub is probably an all time high read sub on this version of NB!SteveB and Wren also gave a good go at the WOTM title. apepper Conservatives want people to stop talking about last 13 years billiclay Brexit saves Britain from Europe murder train Government Completely Changes the Meaning of the Word Exciting Mongers of the world after another thing to monger Putin looking at moving to a Bungalow Chipchase Camelot and Waitrose unveil new ‘prize partnership’ Fears grow for 80s something couple Ada and Stanley "missing" in Hollister Government named as sponsor for Ant & Dec's new show: "I'm a UK Diplomat... Get Me Out Of Here" Leicester man makes 7000 mile round-trip to collect Friday night curry Rev Green set to be freed as new evidence points to shocking miscarriage of justic e Stormzy moves to distance himself from Trump Chrisf Man inexplicably carrying round absolutely
Read more

WOTM May 2023

Image
Sully has stormed ahead this month, followed cautiously by SteveB and modelmaker.  New writer cara has come in at a credible fifth place.  As usual, links to all the FPs, NiBs and Features (AKA Left Alerts) below the leaderboard, followed by the cartoon of the month, then the ticker list, which contains Deskpilot's awesome 20 tickers amongst many others apepper Government celebrate as travel delays not caused by Brexit Public consider letting Penny Mordaunt continue as sole Conservative MP Benvoleo YouTuber accused of intentionally crashing plane headhunted for senior Government role billiclay Government creates new fear: Nano Boats Monopoly introduces Get out of Speeding Penalty Card TransPennine Express defend fluid timetables and non-binary concepts about arrival Cara Area man unveils covert method of ogling female co-workers Boys' Exposure to Romance Movies Starts at an Alarming Young Age, Reveals Study JK Rowling axes Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw from new adaptation; claims &q
Read more