WOTM Feb 2020 mid month

DavidH makes a welcome return to the top of the leaderboard, followed closely by OXY and Chip.  Good to see some of the new faces appearing on the leaderboard, with nicharper and oshaughnessy also in contention for the top spot.



A.Mantra 

Provocatively flirtatious woman wears a dress to work

Umbrellas to be sold inside out

Antharrison 

Surgeons rush to retrieve Brexitcast presenters from own arseholes

apepper 

Future census unnecessary ‘We’ll just ask the Chinese’

Man coughs, convinced he has coronavirus

Chipchase

Dithering Desmond desperate to get it taped

Smells more like white spirit as Francois finds Nirvana

Trump to introduce ‘Trump Justice’ in second term

Chrisf 

Number 10 press corps to be replaced by North Korean newsreader

TV villains to undergo compulsory sarcastic hand-clap training

DavidH 

Feed the 52

Love-child of a senior royal? Claim your regal inheritance, now!

Dick Everyman

 Holly Willoughby outed as leader of Colombian drugs cartel

Editor 

Culture loses Culture War

Fernandomando 

United Kingdom to retrain as psychotherapist after split from EU

Fletcher 

Socially awkward office workers return to work after New Year holidays

Jamesroberts92 

Man declares mansplaining is now a real ‘thing’ after it happens to him

JoBo 

Ozzy Osbourne karma responsible for coronavirus

Mick Turate 

Loss Adjusters to recommend UK rebuild in wake of storm damage

Newsbiscuit Editorial Team 

BBC Drama Shows Outsourced To Am-dram Society

nicharper 

Embarrassed WHO reaches out to Gwyneth Paltrow to help combat coronavirus

Joaquin Phoenix to only star in black comedies going forward

Only the elite should be allowed to discriminate based on class, says HMC

oshaughnessy 

EU sells unwanted Union Jacks to Iran

Oxbridge 

Chinese advised to leave Britain ‘because it’s crap’

Storm-inconvenienced Isle of Wight vows ‘We will rebuild’

Sarah Tipper 

Thornton’s Continental chocolates to get proper British names

Throngsman 

RNLI criticised for ‘taking so bloody long’

Vertically Challened Giant 

Everybody who completed Dry January already shit-faced

‘This is a massive witch-hunt,’ complains massive witch

Walter Eagle 

Government Proposes Zipwire To Link Scotland To Northern Ireland

Wrenfoe 

Boris to build high-speed rail bridge – for ‘faster deportation’

Facemasks? Either its Coronavirus or we suddenly have a lot of dentists

Shadowy fence-panelling cartel behind Storm Ciara

YaBasta 

EU farewell to UK mistranslated as ‘So long, and thanks for all the fish’

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