WOTM April 2019

Cracking start to the month, with AM storming off as if the Wren rule doesn't exist.  Er, has anybody mentioned the Wren rule lately?

Nickb is also having a good month, as is Chip and YB



A.Mantra 

Boy unable to comprehend dad’s glee at finding his old Scalextric

Cauliflower ‘steak’ just cauliflower

Drunk couples who ‘made friends’ at wedding now acting like they never met

How to cope with not leaving the EU on 29th March

Man calling in sick can’t decide between a stomach bug and a cold

Man goes berserk when petrol pump dial lands on £20.01

Man in gastro-pub can’t work out which is the men’s toilet

Man shakes man’s fist as greeting goes horribly wrong

Only boy in ballet class isn’t buying his mum’s ‘Billy Elliot’ s**t

Benvoleo 

Cambridge have won the Boat Race, once and for all, says Brexiter

“I didn’t agree to an extension” says man who said “yeah, whatever” to builders

Bobski 

MI6 place undercover agent at top of organised crime family

Chipchase 

Assange finally shown the door for ‘never buying milk’

DUP floats ‘ducking-stool’ compromise

Sting admitted to pretentiousness rehab clinic

Study reveals many modern artworks ‘aren’t very good’

Tiger Woods owes it all to me, says Trump

Crayon 

Man inspired by Grand National whips cats around obstacle course

Editor 

Brexit Party and UKIP to fight it out in pub car park

Hindari Banga 

May seeks to resolve problems with “megavote”

Iroquois Pliskin 



Ivan Edwards

“Don’t @ me”, says tweet with 0 replies, 0 retweets and 0 likes

Newsbiscuit Editorial Team 

Scientists finally equate Brexit with the laws of thermodynamics

nickb 

Geller claims TV triumph with new anti-Brexit TV show ‘Uri Nation’

Police get new ‘stop and lurch’ powers

Post Brexit toilet paper could be ‘too soft’ for leavers.

Sultan of Brunei suggests people get stoned after gay sex or adultery.

TV Cop show creator denies ‘using cornflour’ to thicken plot.

Oxbridge 

Actually we didn’t ALL survive the Blitz, Brexiters remind

Your guide to the runners in the Grand National Suicide

The Islander 

Office worker calls for end to ‘dress-down Fridays’

Woman worried she’s caught PPI

Throngsman 

Facebook criticised for allowing messages suggesting Brexit still alive

Tonymc81 

Conservatives ready to face the people

Intrepid Explorers Return to Forgotten Britain

Wrenfoe 

Netanyahu annexes Moon

Samuel Beckett wrote Brexit

YaBasta 

April Fool’s Day gags in newspapers no longer necessary

MPs vote for Narnia amendment

Stop and Search introduced for MPs voting No

Taking photos in black and white “doesn’t actually make them more arty”

Theresa May negotiates Brexit extension, with free Broadband

Treatment of man who can’t understand sarcasm “going really well”

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