WOTM March 2019 mid month

Exciting start to this month with Tonymc and YB in joint first place and A.Mantra and Chip in joint second.  Stay posted for the final two weeks.



Adrian Bamforth 

Lenny Henry accused of acting as ‘patronising saviour’ in Premier Inn ads

A.Mantra 

Barristers to conclude cross-examination with a mic drop

Becoming a government ‘trade dealer’ – A brief guide

Man buys fishing waders instead of milk from Aldi

Man who hogged middle-lane given jail term

May to replace meaningful vote with trial by combat

May: ‘UK could still have to take part in Eurovision’

Woman held captive by WhatsApp Group

Chipchase 

4-hour A&E target replaced with ‘survival of the fittest’

Britbox talks collapse over Ant and Dec involvement

May: ‘I had personality bypass surgery’

National Lottery and Waitrose announce new joint initiative

Super saleswoman ‘Surly Shirley’ receives top retail award

UK music shops introduce ban on popular guitar audition pieces

Chrisf 

Chris Grayling to abstain from cock ups for Lent

Man described as legend actually doing fairly mundane things

Mate insisting on referring to basic cookery tips as ‘food hacking’

Dick Everyman 

Shock as customer leaves banana bunch intact

Gerontius 

Getting a new Earl – just like ‘winning the lottery’, says humble peasant-folk of Forfar

May rejects link between dead greenhouse plants and lack of water

Mick Turate 

Grayling in second sensational space deal with Seaborne

Milo Shame 

Daniel Day Lewis to take lead in Karen Bradley Biopic

Newsbiscuit Editorial Team 

April Fools’ Day to coincide with Brexit

New study claims Gandalf and Dumbledore are one and the same person

Sajid Javid to strip UK brides of EU citizenship

nickb 

Backstop provision to merge with offside rule

Grayling and Bradley: The Podcast

Oxbridge 

Billy Brittain’s three-year mid-life crisis still dragging on

Titus

Brexit is an anagram of Brexit

Brexit – was all a dream

Tonymc81 

Brexit ‘turd’ set for Trafalgar Square’s fourth plinth

Electoral Commission to investigate bloke down the pub.

Gordon Ramsay’s to be awarded first Domestos star

Jobs for the Boys

Leavers plan Sunderland street party for March 29th

No nooky for Rees-Mogg during Lent

Police Chiefs take Chancellor’s advice

Wrenfoe 

Momo video was just Chris Grayling explaining Brexit

Tom Watson asks for your kitten pics

Woman breaks and finally joins Amazon Prime

YaBasta

Amber Rudd apologises for not using correct term ‘person of darkness’

BBC accidentally shows Good Morning Britain pilot instead of new Alan Partridge show

Having voted to ban umbrellas, MPs vote for it not to rain

Karen Bradley: ‘I didn’t realise Northern Ireland was in the north of Ireland’

New John Le Carre thriller to be called ‘Tinker, Tailor, Unemployed, Deliveroo’

People who are actually ill preventing the elderly from seeing doctors

Starving African boy complains of ‘white saviour narrative’

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