WOTM Feb 2019 final

Wren has fought a long battle with nickb this month, pipping nick by a whisker.  However Wren rule states that nobody can win WOTM two months on the bounce so this month's winner is nickb



A Mantra  

Chris Grayling announces plan to make X-Trail himself

Hipster ‘street food’ truck just a burger van

Man to undergo hipster-replacement surgery

Man who accidentally said ‘bye mum’ to his female boss, moves to Djibouti

Parents unable to connect daughter Alexa to WiFi

acidcirus 

All of your friends currently writing unfunny comments on Rate My Plate

Adrian Bamforth 

Pregnant woman leaves extremist group

Al Opecia

Over-aged schoolboy ‘wants to return to Remain camp’

apepper 

Andrew Neil’s hair to step down

Jacob Rees-Mogg “stockpiling urchins”

John Humphries suggests all EU countries leave the EU

Man reconciled to fact that however big a TV he gets, it will seem normal after three weeks

Outrage as DWP pass Chris Grayling fit for office

Philip gives up driving license – Queen admits “We’ll miss the Uber money”

Benvoleo  

Do you speak Brexit?

UK Independence Day: a NewsBiscuit Guide

Chipchase 

Amazon to launch Daily Mail reading service

Dyson and Martin’s Laugh-in

Amazon to launch Daily Mail reading service

Joey Essex to pour oil on the troubled waters of Brexit

Mary Berry named as new Queen Mum

Smartphone war looming as Apple ‘iCallbox’ squares up to Samsung ‘flip phone’

Tory Brexit woes set to hit the small screen as big-budget sitcom spin-off

TV cooking shows targeted in tough new government crackdown

Chrisf 

‘Max Spielmann Stories’ feature set to transform photo-sharing

Crayon 

“Eating with hands is great progress from head in trough” say Trump’s keepers

MI6 issue Prince Philip with a licence to kill

Royal Family’s move back to Saxony “may be something to do with Brexit”

Deceangli 

Boris ‘stockpiling women’ in case of no-deal Brexit

Dick Everyman  

‘Ferret-legging has made me the man I am today’ claims Rees-Mogg

UK voted top honeymoon destination by ISIS brides and groomers

Dominic-mcg 

Derek Hatton to join the Scouts

Gerontius 

‘Would you like help with your benefit claims?’ ask Northeners

Milo Shame

Idris Elba admits to ‘wanting to cut up a Ginger’

MzWibble 

Anna Soubry faces move to revoke citizenship

nickb 

Bluetooth to replace online dating

Crystal Palace breakaway players still haven’t decided on new team name

Knife crime up but spoon crime falls

Official Brexit emergency number will be ‘9999

Philip ‘wants to keep shotgun license’, says hostage

Queen plans emergency bowel evacuation in no deal emergency.

Revived Crackerjack to offer crack as prizes

So now it’s acceptable, if not advisable, to start a sentence with ‘So’: OED

‘Special Place in Hull’ planned for study of Brexit strategy success

Statue of Margaret Thatcher to be ‘pre-vandalised’

Sasa Stankovic 

Child warns anti-vaccination parents not to believe everything they read online

Lonely woman in love with Zuckerberg for showing interest in her private data

Next year’s Oscars to include ‘Film that should’ve won Oscars but didn’t’ awards

Squudge & Sir Lupus  

The IRA withdraws balaclavas after ‘blackface’ outcry

Suburbandad 

‘Special place in hell’ to be modelled on European Parliament

Sydalg

Government seeks to attract time traveller tourists from the future

Throngsman 

Chris Grayling awards satire website contract for £50 Million

Chris Grayling being ‘prepped for bigger things – like Brexit Secretary’

Jeremy Corbyn and Theresa May join The Independent Group

Matt Hancock pledges to phase semaphore out of NHS

Titus 

Tusk To Block Free Movement Between Special Place & Other Parts Of Hell

Tonymc81 

Class of 5 Year-olds join Government’s Brexit negotiation team

Theresa May tipped to join Aaron Ramsey in summer move to Juventus

Wrenfoe  

Afghanistan 10, Rest of the World 0

Anti-racist party promises to protect those of a ‘funny tinge’

Ex-pat wants to use NHS after Brexit – just as soon as ISIS lets her go

 ‘If only we had a centrist pro-EU party’ says Vince Cable

It’s Chris Grayling – what did you expect?

Jussie Smollett may have lied about Brexit

Maybot fails Turing test

Owen Smith died four years ago, apparently

Pope: Keeping a nun as a sex slave is no longer cool

‘Trump’s a racist conman??’ says no-one

Trust no one who cannot understand the ‘reply all’ function

YaBasta 

First Brexit-era Bond film to be called ‘ShatWhereWeEat’

Guardian stockpiling hysteria in preparation for Brexit

Olivia Colman to appear in literally everything


Riverdance is only acceptable form of border, say Irish

Where are they now? The Independent Group

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