WOTM Dec 18 final

Final result for the year and we have Chip well in the lead after a storming month.  The NB editors have done a reasonable job as well, followed by some upstart from north Wales.  Full list of FPs, NiBs and left alerts below as hyperlinks if you wish to relive the glory.



acidcirus  

David Dimbleby to Regenerate as Fiona Bruce

Adrian Bamforth 

TV Brexit debate to feature eating of kangaroos’ penises

apepper 

Brexit solved as EU renames itself ‘European Community

Britain reels from non-disastrous day

Chaos as Farage starts campaign to leave WTO

Benvoleo 

May rules out ruling things out

Bobski 

Theresa May to delay Government’s New Year resolutions

Bravenewmalden 

60-year-old granted temporary access to Shoreditch

Chipchase 

3.1% hike in rail fares delayed because of wrong kind of leaves

A seasonal round-robin from The Prime Minister

Calls grow for a second vote of confidence on May’s leadership

Man wins ‘Curmudgeon of the Year’

Noel refuses to leave jungle

Sandringham sensation as Duchesses go toe-to-toe

Seven year-old girl shatters magic of Christmas for Trump

Crayon

Christ happy to hear it’s now Morrisons that makes Christmas

Tory Brexit shows “taking back control” will make Britain champions in Europe

Vacancy for Brexit Secretary who can take dictation and look nice in a twin set

Chrisf 

Cameron advising wife on how to flush away massive turd he did in toilet

Colleague annoyingly distributes his Xmas cards 10 minutes before closure

‘We Built this Country on Boar Terrine’ fails to secure Xmas No1 for Rees-Mogg

Cinquecento

“Intersectional Top Trumps” leads the Christmas board game charts

Gerontius  

 £52m wedding fails to mend ‘deep divisions in society’

MP shoots dog in foot then takes dog to vet

Nightclub doorman admits to having top-knot

Matt Ward 

Those who choose the middle urinal also choose the middle lane of motorway

Midfield Diamond

Shutting Gatwick hasn’t made drones any more annoying than they were already

Temporary Brexit truce to be celebrated with football match on Christmas Day

Mother 

Britain disappointed with third place in ‘Most Embarrassing Country Contest

Lonely woman rescued from dinghy heading away from Dover

Royal family to be recalled to Germany under no-deal Brexit

Voyager 2 to Voyager 1 ‘Man, just keep going, it’s shit back there’

Newsbiscuit Editorial Team 

2019 season of The Trumps in doubt after laptop theft

Can of Spam refuses photo with Minister

 Elf on the Shelf f$cked your cat

Nigel Farage ‘Rule Britannia’ Opening Night

May: That’s nothing compared to the contempt I hold for myself

Question Time audience requires Equity card

Rees-Mogg to bring ‘a touch of Christmas cheer’ to soup kitchens



 You’re paid less because you’re sh$t at your job

nickb 

Britain’s own ‘gilets jaunes’ in early morning rubbish protest

Downing Street shouty men start shouting outside their own front doors

Politics apologises for being interesting

Toast continues to distance itself from Theresa May





Oxbridge 

Brexit Pie

Pheasants thick



Rieslingnut



Schoolboy 

Sexually aroused male Border Collie placed on N.I. Boundary

Scribbler 

Criminals must now use same forms as police

Simon Paul Miller  

Doctor Who’s Police Box changes into Goggle Box

Sir Lupus 

Guild of Negotiators welcomes Brexit deal for improving their job security

The Central Scrutinizer 

Nigel Farage quits as Nigel Farage

Throngsman 

‘All set for Christmas’ to be codified in a British Standard

Divorce Proceedings stall after Local solicitor refuses to disclose full extent of advice

Government call on Nans’ medicine stocks to save hard Brexit plans

‘Reduced economies are easier to take back control of’, says Hammond

Study finds cause of Brexit angst was poor seed regulation

Titus 

Choose the best Brexit Deal comparison site

Paris riots over fears of British departure from the EU

Wrenfoe  

Brexiteers unlikely to give a rat’s arse about the European Court of Justice

Foreign Office funding Secret Santa

Johnson & Johnson and Beelzebu

May staying too long, says herpes virus

Miley Cyrus & Liam Hemsworth announce 2020 divorce

New ‘drone detection’ system involves two paper cups and a piece of string

‘Stupid’ distances itself from Theresa May

YaBasta 

Colleague of jailed academic’s wife forces smile at his safe return

Crossrail delayed because ‘stations really far apart’, CEO explains

May’s ‘exit strategy for car’ proves to be flawed 

May to pursue three Brexit plans – Tom, Dick and Harry

Negotiations with Tesco’s automated checkout enter third month

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