WOTM Dec 18 mid month

We're in uncharted territory here as the editors have been busy submitting their own work under, variously, the Newsbiscuit Editorial Team or just Newsbiscuit and consequently are in the lead, at least technically.  To keep things straightforward for myself I've lumped all their entries under the editorial team handle.

 Just to make it a bit more bizarre, Titus is in second place, however I'm not sure an amalgam entity such as the Newsbiscuit Editorial Team can take the virtual award so Titus is officially in the lead at the halfway point.



acidcirus 

David Dimbleby to Regenerate as Fiona Bruce

Adrian Bamforth 

TV Brexit debate to feature eating of kangaroos’ penises

apepper 

Brexit solved as EU renames itself ‘European Community

Britain reels from non-disastrous day

Chipchase 

3.1% hike in rail fares delayed because of wrong kind of leaves

Calls grow for a second vote of confidence on May’s leadership

Man wins ‘Curmudgeon of the Year’

Noel refuses to leave jungle

Gerontius 

MP shoots dog in foot then takes dog to vet

Nightclub doorman admits to having top-knot

Matt Ward 

Those who choose the middle urinal also choose the middle lane of motorway

Midfield Diamond

Temporary Brexit truce to be celebrated with football match on Christmas Day

Mother 

Britain disappointed with third place in ‘Most Embarrassing Country Contest

Royal family to be recalled to Germany under no-deal Brexit

Voyager 2 to Voyager 1 ‘Man, just keep going, it’s shit back there’

Newsbiscuit Editorial Team 

2019 season of The Trumps in doubt after laptop theft

Can of Spam refuses photo with Minister

 Elf on the Shelf f$cked your cat

Nigel Farage ‘Rule Britannia’ Opening Night

May: That’s nothing compared to the contempt I hold for myself

Question Time audience requires Equity card

Rees-Mogg to bring ‘a touch of Christmas cheer’ to soup kitchens

 You’re paid less because you’re sh$t at your job

nickb 

Downing Street shouty men start shouting outside their own front doors

Politics apologises for being interesting

Toast continues to distance itself from Theresa May

Oxbridge 

Brexit Pie

Pheasants thick

Schoolboy 

Sexually aroused male Border Collie placed on N.I. Boundary

Simon Paul Miller 

Doctor Who’s Police Box changes into Goggle Box

Sir Lupus 

Guild of Negotiators welcomes Brexit deal for improving their job security

The Central Scrutinizer 

Nigel Farage quits as Nigel Farage

Throngsman 

‘All set for Christmas’ to be codified in a British Standard

Divorce Proceedings stall after Local solicitor refuses to disclose full extent of advice

‘Reduced economies are easier to take back control of’, says Hammond

Titus 

Choose the best Brexit Deal comparison site

Paris riots over fears of British departure from the EU

Wrenfoe 

Brexiteers unlikely to give a rat’s arse about the European Court of Justice

May staying too long, says herpes virus

YaBasta 

Colleague of jailed academic’s wife forces smile at his safe return

Crossrail delayed because ‘stations really far apart’, CEO explains

May’s ‘exit strategy for car’ proves to be flawed

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