May 2018 WOTM competition mid monthresult

Mid month and we have three contenders at the top of the table.  Newish blood, Daneade and DavidH are being challenged by veteran funny guy Wrenfoe.  Not too far behind is a gaggle of new and old also vying, so this is looking like a real battle this month.



Benvoleo

May leaves polling booth without voting, saying she’ll decide in a few days time

 Bravenewmalden

 Skateboarder in bid to find man who witnessed successful trick

 Chipchase

‘It’s brand new… it’s Brexitroo’ – delivered daily directly to your door

 ‘It’s too warm!’ Heatwave sees OAPs stretch A&E Departments to breaking-point

 Man to sue after encountering ‘ghastly and common people’ on Caribbean cruise

 Ministers move to ban ludicrous restaurant dishes

 ‘Trump and close aides are escaped Westworld hosts’ claims FBI source

 Chrisf

Boxers to undergo compulsory halitosis testing before press conference

 Footballer picks up coveted nose spit award

 Crayon

Neighbour with power tools set to own your bank holiday Monday

 Daneade 

 Burglar’s funeral procession still going

 In/Out Eurovision Referendum Announced

 Man admits ‘Sod All’ planned for Bank Holiday weekend

 North Korean Hostages ask: why did the Apprentice Host Greet Us at the Airport?

 Roma favourites to beat Liverpool by 5 stabbings to 2

 Sajid Javid ‘probably’ safe from deportation now

 Scots facing horror dilemma – Spend More or Booze Less

 World War 3 Would Hurt Trump’s Nobel Peace Prize Chances

 DavidH

Big Sam takes over at R Kelly

 Calls for all new complex constructions to be tested by Shakin’ Stevens

 Heston Blumenthal creates ‘toxic caterpillar curry’

 Home Office issues L.A.V.A. guidelines for volcanic eruptions

 North Korea and Tesco merge to create Teskorea

 Kabirgaryali

Archbishop admits Dr Dre song quelled celibacy concerns

 Macattack1964

Chinese TV Channel Bans School Choir Rendition Of ‘I Can Sing A Rainbow’

 Evangelical Christian Bakery refuses order for Fairy Cakes

 North Korean Nuclear Test Site Too Unstable for KerPlunk, Say Geologists

 Questions British Workers Dread Every Tuesday Following A Bank Holiday

 Mowens

Boris Johnson resigns over ‘unintentional transparency’

Newsbiscuit Editorial Team

Theresa May blames everything on ‘the boogie’

 Sydalg

Driverless cars to take instructions from back seat

 Health and Safety regulations driving vampires ‘batty’

 Rees-Mogg posed as 84-year-old on Facebook to chat to ‘unsuspecting’ pensioner

 Terry Bunn

Salisbury nerve-agent was gift shop pot-pourri, claims inspector

 Throngsman

Proto-human females had ‘cushion shaped spinal curvature’ say scientists
Titus


Tonymc81


Wrenfoe 


 Brexit can’t get worse. ‘Hold my pint’ says House of Lords

Man convinced he can mend anything with gaffer tape


Not slept with Donald Trump? You might be eligible for a big, one-off payment

 Oxbridge to improve social diversity with ‘servant’s entrance’

 Syrians cancel holiday to Iran
YaBasta

Homer Simpson ‘an offensive stereotype’ claims lazy fat dumbass

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