February WOTM Week 3

First there was Brexit, then Trump, now we have Titus heading up the leader board.  I expect the palaver I had with my PC a few weeks ago was the Russians hacking into the WOTM spreadsheet.  Anyway, well done Titus but watch your back because with one week to go it's very close between you, NickB, Dom, Gero, YB and Wren.  Chippy isn't out of contention either so it looks like we're headed for a photo finish.



AmoebaReeba

Oxfam shop volunteer admits giving rent boy a helping hand.

Barry Van Hire/ Newsbiscuit Editorial Team

Monty Python quotes to be banned from public places



Bravenewmalden














Chrisf



Crayon



Daneade



dananthenry

Percy Pig farm facing calls to close

Deceangli



Dick Everyman 



Fantastijem

Spice Girls openly planning further atrocities

Gerontius

Corbyn told us where he hid the biscuits claims Czech intelligence officer

 ‘Go down the pub’ urge Councils

Millions of Olympics viewers test positive for lactose reveals IOC

 Peter Rabbit film apologises for character’s on-screen sex addiction.

 Pothole cyclist still missing, say police

 Spurs credit card machine ‘definitely felt contact’


Goatboy

US government to ban single-use bullets by 2020

 GrahamB

Cheddar Man “clearly fit for work” says ATOS

 harrypalmer

Kate Bush to get back together

 Punch-up marred by arrival of Jacob Rees-Mogg

 ‘You never said anything about a f**king asteroid belt’, mannequin tells Elon Musk

James Pluside

You don’t have to mad to own a gun license, but it helps

jamesroberts92

Journalists Stunned as Rooney Fails to Throw Own Excrement Live on TV

 Midfield Diamond

Elon Musk denies Falcon Heavy Rocket concept based on Thunderbirds

 Milo Shame

Boris wins Bafta for Best Actor in a Supporting role

 Newsbiscuit Editorial Team

Princess ‘grateful’ to knight who rescued her from dragon

 Newscat

Oxfam launches Fairtrade range of prostitutes

nickb 

 Blurb writer really likes book he’s writing blurb about

 Isle of Wight Man ‘Will not work with Woody Allen’
Paul L

Digital Services manager not actually ‘passionate’ about job
Sir Lupus

UK government threatens to stop funding itself due to sex scandals.
Terry Bunn 


NHS: ‘Is your life really necessary’

 Northern Rock to Take Over East Coast Mainline

 Throngsman

Dad and granddad still at loggerheads over university choice

 Titus

Apathy Party threatened by radical new group ‘Inertia’

 Caterers fed up with postponing Jacob Zuma’s farewell party

European Court overturns Brexit

 Musk likely to lose deposit on car
tonymc81



Wrenfoe



I’m not a quitter says May, thus making Brexit a bit confusing

Racism over thanks to Black Panther movie

Scrap of tinsel set to outlast Jesus

 Surgery patients advised to visit local butcher

YaBasta

Amber Heard marries large pile of money

 Batman accused of assaulting co-worker

 Daniel Day-Lewis tries real job, realises acting wasn’t so bad

 Hart to Hart ‘reimagined’ for new audience

 Middle class London couple buys Yorkshire

Tell your parents ‘You’ll be dead soon’, advises young Remainer

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