January WOTM competition week 2

Week 2 and it looks like a two horse race, between Wren in the lead and Chip not that far behind.  Still, quite a way to go so let's see what this week has to offer.



 Adrian Bamforth

New Education Secretary attends his first day of Cabinet

apepper

Queen’s advice on wearing crown expected to save ‘thousands of lives’

 Benvoleo

Shuffle fail due to ‘too few members to fill ministerial posts,’ says Tory Chair

Chipchase

DUP welcomes controversial editorial changes at GMB

 ‘I saw mythical B&Q shop assistant in Margate branch’ claims customer


 Space Invaders machine creates ‘quite a hubbub’ in Isle of Wight pub

 Thomas the Tank Engine in sensational Ringo rant

 Trump to present new prime time political game show

 Who do you think you are kidding…

Daniel T

Game of Thrones author found in HBO torture chamber

Dick Everyman

May proposes levies on colostomy bags and urine bottles


Dominic_mcg

Farmer Giles

Two Ronnies fan disappointed after asking Amazon’s Alexa to buy four candles

Gerontius

Disney studios discover long lost ‘first’ cartoon film – Work Shy Willie

MADJEZ

Uber more than happy with new driver Worboys

 Midfield Diamond

Dortmund attack leads to increased immigration control of capitalists

 Mother

Larry the Cat replaces David Davis in surprise reshuffle

Newsbiscuit Editorial Team

‘Despacito’ follow up will be Auld Lang Syne, confirms Bieber


Stonehenge to be fitted with sprinklers

 Newscat

Trump’s button ‘only looks bigger because of small hands’ claims wife

 nickb

Batman’s personal hygiene issues unresolved as Robin returns from winter break


Pack of Cards refuses to be reshuffled

 Toby Young pondering crazy blond wig

 Oxbridge

Ministry of Magic to take over Brexit

 Sir Lupus

Trump’s New Year Resolutions revealed on Twitter

 Squudge

Reclusive Bannon renounces the ‘Alt-Jedi’

Sydalg

Fears for Mugabe as he fails to appear as Big Brother contestant

 Penis enlargement ruining our business, say makers of big cars


Terry Bunn

Trump denies snubbing UK

 Throngsman

Cancelling operations ‘better for patients’ insists Hunt

 Gove promises ‘lots of male bovine fertiliser’ for farming community

 Wrenfoe 


Anyone without a bed can sleep on my couch, says Hunt

 Lord Adonis is still a funny name

May reshuffles chairs on Titanic

 Over-enthusiastic ‘dab’ goes all Nazi

People who go for walks aren’t working hard enough during the week


Toby Young set to lose more friends and alienate even more people

Windsor ‘beggar ban’ targets Princess Michael of Kent

YaBasta 

 Even the Kardashians not sure which one is which

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