July WOTM Competion week 3
In the penultimate week we find Wrenfoe and YaBasta slugging it out for first place, with Wren just edging out by one point. Crayon is also still in contention and there's a raft of others that, with a good following wind, could win the July crown if they have a strong attempt and submit enough good material.
Please note the inclusion of some new writers this month - if you've drifted on to this page and followed some of the links below and think 'I could do better than that' then mosey onto newsbiscuit, read the guidelines for writers, register and have a go. We love new talent and this could be your first step to international fame, although anonymous oblivion is more likely, to be fair. Please note Newsbiscuit is an equal opportunities website - nobody gets paid for anything, full stop.
Benvoleo
Gove determined to diversify persecution of woodland animals
Hampered by your old manifesto? Try Tory Manifesto ‘lite’
Bravenewmalden
End of the road for ‘left a bit’ rally cross navigator
Police investigate purchase of moped
Cinquecento
‘Beef Curtains Barbie’ aims to improve girls’ body image
Crayon
Jacob Rees-Mogg put out to stud
Mayflies distance themselves from May
Opposition MPs offer their ‘confidence’ for a ‘supply’ of £100 million each
Technicians confirm Maydroid leaked small quantity of lubricant on election night
Chrisf
Pig in shit ‘actually not that happy’
Regeneration of doctors to be rolled out across NHS, confirms Hunt
CulchaVulcha
‘Stop abusing politicians online’ pleads MP shitface
Daneade
Boris Johnson to be parachuted onto Love Island
Deceangli
Man still waiting for praise three days after minor act of domestic proactivity
Dick Everyman
Washington swamp-draining firm threatened with liquidation
Editor
Giant iceberg to re-unite with Antarctica ‘for one night only’
Vince Cable resigns, having taken Liberals ‘as far as he can’
Farmer Giles
Banksy doesn’t know who he is either
harrypalmer
Final Brexit deal ‘to be tested on mice’
Trump-Macron handshake enters third day
MADJEZ
Sci-fi fans worry they won’t be able to talk to female Dr Who at conventions
Mark Maguire
Conservative Party pledge to make Brexit ‘all the colours of the rainbow’
Matt Ward
Federer ‘still not forgiven’ for cardigan he wore in 2008
Milo Shame
George Osborne to play final Adele concerts
Pamplona bulls to run on electricity by 2020
Poseidon Adventure survivors still waiting to be rehoused
NaffLaff
Foolish man asks colleague ‘How was your weekend?’
Man outraged at women telling other women to put their breasts away
Train announcer dies of heartache because he really was sorry
Newsbiscuit Editorial Team
White jeep ruled supreme symbol of twattishness
nickb
BBC forced to publish names and salaries of lowest paid staff
Oxbridge
Clickbait vows to keep on at you until you read it
Please note the inclusion of some new writers this month - if you've drifted on to this page and followed some of the links below and think 'I could do better than that' then mosey onto newsbiscuit, read the guidelines for writers, register and have a go. We love new talent and this could be your first step to international fame, although anonymous oblivion is more likely, to be fair. Please note Newsbiscuit is an equal opportunities website - nobody gets paid for anything, full stop.
Benvoleo
Gove determined to diversify persecution of woodland animals
Hampered by your old manifesto? Try Tory Manifesto ‘lite’
Bravenewmalden
End of the road for ‘left a bit’ rally cross navigator
Police investigate purchase of moped
Cinquecento
‘Beef Curtains Barbie’ aims to improve girls’ body image
Crayon
Jacob Rees-Mogg put out to stud
Mayflies distance themselves from May
Opposition MPs offer their ‘confidence’ for a ‘supply’ of £100 million each
Technicians confirm Maydroid leaked small quantity of lubricant on election night
Chrisf
Pig in shit ‘actually not that happy’
Regeneration of doctors to be rolled out across NHS, confirms Hunt
CulchaVulcha
‘Stop abusing politicians online’ pleads MP shitface
Daneade
Boris Johnson to be parachuted onto Love Island
Deceangli
Man still waiting for praise three days after minor act of domestic proactivity
Dick Everyman
Washington swamp-draining firm threatened with liquidation
Editor
Giant iceberg to re-unite with Antarctica ‘for one night only’
Vince Cable resigns, having taken Liberals ‘as far as he can’
Farmer Giles
Banksy doesn’t know who he is either
harrypalmer
Final Brexit deal ‘to be tested on mice’
Trump-Macron handshake enters third day
MADJEZ
Sci-fi fans worry they won’t be able to talk to female Dr Who at conventions
Mark Maguire
Conservative Party pledge to make Brexit ‘all the colours of the rainbow’
Matt Ward
Federer ‘still not forgiven’ for cardigan he wore in 2008
Milo Shame
George Osborne to play final Adele concerts
Pamplona bulls to run on electricity by 2020
Poseidon Adventure survivors still waiting to be rehoused
NaffLaff
Foolish man asks colleague ‘How was your weekend?’
Man outraged at women telling other women to put their breasts away
Train announcer dies of heartache because he really was sorry
Newsbiscuit Editorial Team
White jeep ruled supreme symbol of twattishness
nickb
BBC forced to publish names and salaries of lowest paid staff
Oxbridge
Clickbait vows to keep on at you until you read it
Sir Lupus
Team BUPA favourites for Tour de France
Throngsman
Airfix ‘not in a rush’ to produce model HMS Queen Elizabeth
North Korea identifies fish it targeted
Ryanair complains about ‘cowboy’ training facility
Team BUPA favourites for Tour de France
Throngsman
Airfix ‘not in a rush’ to produce model HMS Queen Elizabeth
North Korea identifies fish it targeted
Ryanair complains about ‘cowboy’ training facility
Titus
Wrenfoe
Sports journalists simultaneously realise how pointless they are
Uber drivers taking over our role as casual racists, say taxi drivers
Uber drivers taking over our role as casual racists, say taxi drivers
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