July WOTM Competion - final week
At the end of July we have got a dead heat in the WOTM competition, with Wrenfoe and YaBasta both on 19 points. I'm going to ask TechGuy if both can have the coveted virtual mug on their respective avatars for the month of August, otherwise we're going to have to decide on a write-off.
Quite a few were on their tails and special mention must go to DavidH for being so prolific with the tickers again - 12 this month. If you want to see the ticker list for July pop over to the Chat room where I post the whole list on the last day of the month as usual.
Adrian Bamforth
Hopes fade for Marty Mcfly return after future petrol ban
Benvoleo
Gove determined to diversify persecution of woodland animals
Hampered by your old manifesto? Try Tory Manifesto ‘lite’
Bill Door
Mother left devastated after womb receives 1-star TripAdvisor review
Bonjonelson
Children as young as four using adverbs, report warns
Bravenewmalden
End of the road for ‘left a bit’ rally cross navigator
Police investigate purchase of moped
Cinquecento
‘Beef Curtains Barbie’ aims to improve girls’ body image
Crayon
Jacob Rees-Mogg put out to stud
May begs judges to send babyface Boris abroad for risky brain treatment
Mayflies distance themselves from May
Opposition MPs offer their ‘confidence’ for a ‘supply’ of £100 million each
Technicians confirm Maydroid leaked small quantity of lubricant on election night
Chrisf
Man tricked again into thinking 114.9 pence per litre for petrol is 114 pence
Pig in shit ‘actually not that happy’
Regeneration of doctors to be rolled out across NHS, confirms Hunt
CulchaVulcha
‘Stop abusing politicians online’ pleads MP shitface
Daneade
Boris Johnson to be parachuted onto Love Island
British Army to create new special forces moped unit
London cocaine dealers announce post-Brexit Frankfurt move.
Deceangli
Man still waiting for praise three days after minor act of domestic proactivity
Dick Everyman
‘No red carpet for Trump’ warns Mayor of Wolverhampton
Vince Cable resigns, having taken Liberals ‘as far as he can’
Jonny Schlep
New York Mob bosses hit out at ‘scurrilous and hurtful’ Scaramucci comparisons
MADJEZ
Sci-fi fans worry they won’t be able to talk to female Dr Who at conventions
Mark Maguire
Conservative Party pledge to make Brexit ‘all the colours of the rainbow’
Matt Ward
Federer ‘still not forgiven’ for cardigan he wore in 2008
Milo Shame
George Osborne to play final Adele concerts
Pamplona bulls to run on electricity by 2020
Poseidon Adventure survivors still waiting to be rehoused
Newsbiscuit Editorial Team
White jeep ruled supreme symbol of twattishness
nickb
BBC forced to publish names and salaries of lowest paid staff
Oxbridge
Clickbait vows to keep on at you until you read it
Danish police arrest ‘mad Prince Hamlet’ in double murder mystery
Satire now Britain’s only growth industry
RichMitch
National Dental Association reveal all toothpastes are exactly the same product
Ronseal
Maitlis slams in a transfer request to spark a bidding war for top news talent
Quite a few were on their tails and special mention must go to DavidH for being so prolific with the tickers again - 12 this month. If you want to see the ticker list for July pop over to the Chat room where I post the whole list on the last day of the month as usual.
Adrian Bamforth
Hopes fade for Marty Mcfly return after future petrol ban
Benvoleo
Gove determined to diversify persecution of woodland animals
Hampered by your old manifesto? Try Tory Manifesto ‘lite’
Bill Door
Mother left devastated after womb receives 1-star TripAdvisor review
Bonjonelson
Children as young as four using adverbs, report warns
Bravenewmalden
End of the road for ‘left a bit’ rally cross navigator
Police investigate purchase of moped
Cinquecento
‘Beef Curtains Barbie’ aims to improve girls’ body image
Crayon
Jacob Rees-Mogg put out to stud
May begs judges to send babyface Boris abroad for risky brain treatment
Mayflies distance themselves from May
Opposition MPs offer their ‘confidence’ for a ‘supply’ of £100 million each
Technicians confirm Maydroid leaked small quantity of lubricant on election night
Chrisf
Man tricked again into thinking 114.9 pence per litre for petrol is 114 pence
Pig in shit ‘actually not that happy’
Regeneration of doctors to be rolled out across NHS, confirms Hunt
CulchaVulcha
‘Stop abusing politicians online’ pleads MP shitface
Daneade
Boris Johnson to be parachuted onto Love Island
British Army to create new special forces moped unit
London cocaine dealers announce post-Brexit Frankfurt move.
Deceangli
Man still waiting for praise three days after minor act of domestic proactivity
Dick Everyman
‘No red carpet for Trump’ warns Mayor of Wolverhampton
Vince Cable resigns, having taken Liberals ‘as far as he can’
Farmer Giles
Banksy doesn’t know who he is either
harrypalmer
Final Brexit deal ‘to be tested on mice’
Trump-Macron handshake enters third day
Banksy doesn’t know who he is either
harrypalmer
Final Brexit deal ‘to be tested on mice’
Trump-Macron handshake enters third day
Hindari Banga
Jonessgl
Jonny Schlep
New York Mob bosses hit out at ‘scurrilous and hurtful’ Scaramucci comparisons
MADJEZ
Sci-fi fans worry they won’t be able to talk to female Dr Who at conventions
Mark Maguire
Conservative Party pledge to make Brexit ‘all the colours of the rainbow’
Matt Ward
Federer ‘still not forgiven’ for cardigan he wore in 2008
Midfield Diamond
Milo Shame
George Osborne to play final Adele concerts
Pamplona bulls to run on electricity by 2020
Poseidon Adventure survivors still waiting to be rehoused
NaffLaff
Ed Sheeran playing consistently for 24 hours not a charity event confirm Radio 1
Foolish man asks colleague ‘How was your weekend?’
Man outraged at women telling other women to put their breasts away
Train announcer dies of heartache because he really was sorry
Ed Sheeran playing consistently for 24 hours not a charity event confirm Radio 1
Foolish man asks colleague ‘How was your weekend?’
Man outraged at women telling other women to put their breasts away
Train announcer dies of heartache because he really was sorry
Newsbiscuit Editorial Team
White jeep ruled supreme symbol of twattishness
nickb
BBC forced to publish names and salaries of lowest paid staff
Oxbridge
Clickbait vows to keep on at you until you read it
Danish police arrest ‘mad Prince Hamlet’ in double murder mystery
Satire now Britain’s only growth industry
RichMitch
National Dental Association reveal all toothpastes are exactly the same product
Ronseal
Maitlis slams in a transfer request to spark a bidding war for top news talent
Sir Lupus
Team BUPA favourites for Tour de France
Throngsman
Airfix ‘not in a rush’ to produce model HMS Queen Elizabeth
Team BUPA favourites for Tour de France
Throngsman
Airfix ‘not in a rush’ to produce model HMS Queen Elizabeth
North Korea identifies fish it targeted
Ryanair complains about ‘cowboy’ training facility
Underconstruction
Ryanair complains about ‘cowboy’ training facility
TV chefs join Brexit talks so Britain can have its cake and eat it
Japan’s First Lady confirms ‘of course I speak bloody English’
Japan’s First Lady confirms ‘of course I speak bloody English’
Titus
Underconstruction
Wrenfoe
Chilcot: “Blair is a lying bastard, I’m not sure I can be any clearer?”
Chocolate bars aren’t smaller, we’re just fatter
Chocolate bars aren’t smaller, we’re just fatter
YaBasta
Disney’s new musical tells heart-warming tale of the Von Trump family
Fury as East European blonde girl refuses to be tennis player
German war vets complain they’re sidelined in film ‘Dunkirk’
Disney’s new musical tells heart-warming tale of the Von Trump family
Fury as East European blonde girl refuses to be tennis player
German war vets complain they’re sidelined in film ‘Dunkirk’
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