WOTM Aug 2021 mid month
Wren's in the lead, with Bangin and Danny Soz slugging it out just behind him. This month is far from over yet.
Adrian Bamforth
Locals celebrate after picture of c*ck and balls on church attributed to Banksy
BangingOnAgain
£6m mound of dirt ‘absolute bargain’ confirm London’s 10k homeless
UK’s most popular holiday destination 2021 revealed: the M5 southbound
Thatcher posthumously awarded ‘inadvertent eco-warrior ’85’
‘We won’t let our kids have I-Pads’ and other hilarious plans of parents-to-be
Chipchase
Cowell bombshell as X Factor ‘binned for good’ by ITV over sick scam claims
Shire police called as hobbit and orc violence erupts at Green Dragon pub
Chrisf
Post-event interviews with Olympians to include general knowledge round
Quirky gesture to camera to be compulsory for 2024 Olympians, organisers confirm
Danny Soz
‘Desperate’ world health boffins seek guidance from Facebook headbanger
Local dog-walker ‘gutted’ after failure to stumble upon grisly murder scene
Queen prefers Soviet national anthem to ours, says palace insider
Simon Cowell to be fired to the edge of space using his big trousers
Strictly bombshell: Farage to compete in first-ever male-crypto/fascist pairing
Syrian villagers send sympathy message to Brits unable to go on holiday
Dominic_mcg
Gold medal-winning UK athlete forgets to cry during BBC interview
FlashArry
Bill and Ben sacked as PM’s speechwriters
Gerontius
‘Crime levels down for fourth consecutive month’ boasts Priti Patel
Ian Searle
Dulux to name a new paint colour in honour of Sky Brown.
Jeremynh
Russia wants its money back from British embassy traitor
Taxi drivers furious at being compared to the RNLI
Tories launch their latest sizzling summer of sleaze
UK travellers to be given advanced new ‘coin toss’ test for covid
Lockjaw54
Latin phrases in the modern idiom
Odysseus slams today’s travel whingers
Midfield Diamond
Olympic committee set to invent ever more ludicrous cycling events
MzWibble
Education minister proposes adding spells to national curriculum.
Journalism in crisis as interviewed journalist fails to follow convention
West needs to rethink policy on Islamic extremism, saytanked thinkers
oshaughnessy
Nasa confirm Bezos & Branson are first men to reach the complete waste of space
Sinnick
Home Office to retain covid measures “just in case”
SteveB
Can’t-be-arsed UK government asks public to stick forks in their own eyeballs
Parents relieved: grades of privately educated cherubs canbe bought after all
Traffic lights on UK roads to have 50 shades of amber
stewartbarclay
Johnson to ring Sturgeon’s doorbell then run away
Man admits object is ‘heavy’ and not ‘just awkward’
Planet not on fire say fossil fuel fans
Progressive Daily Telegraph to showcase brunettes’ brain
TheNewsWalrus
Hopes fading for Kabul Wetherspoons
Throngsman
UK leading way to reduce fossil fuels by making more people poorer – Johnson
UK leading way to reduce fossil fuels by making more people poorer – Johnson
Wrenfoe
AI can diagnose dementia just by asking for your email’s ‘memorable word’
Just for 5 minutes you can dream that Messi will join your club
Ken Loach expelled from Labour Party for calling Keith, ‘Keith’
Terry Pratchett ‘never liked fantasy’ says journalist who never read his books
We’ll give up everything to save Earth – except cars, planes, meat, etc
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