WOTM Aug 2021 mid month

Wren's in the lead, with Bangin and Danny Soz slugging it out just behind him.  This month is far from over yet.



Adrian Bamforth 

Locals celebrate after picture of c*ck and balls on church attributed to Banksy

BangingOnAgain 

£6m mound of dirt ‘absolute bargain’ confirm London’s 10k homeless

UK’s most popular holiday destination 2021 revealed: the M5 southbound

Thatcher posthumously awarded ‘inadvertent eco-warrior ’85’

‘We won’t let our kids have I-Pads’ and other hilarious plans of parents-to-be

Chipchase 

Cowell bombshell as X Factor ‘binned for good’ by ITV over sick scam claims

Shire police called as hobbit and orc violence erupts at Green Dragon pub

Chrisf 

Post-event interviews with Olympians to include general knowledge round

Quirky gesture to camera to be compulsory for 2024 Olympians, organisers confirm

Danny Soz 

‘Desperate’ world health boffins seek guidance from Facebook headbanger

Local dog-walker ‘gutted’ after failure to stumble upon grisly murder scene

Queen prefers Soviet national anthem to ours, says palace insider

Simon Cowell to be fired to the edge of space using his big trousers

Strictly bombshell: Farage to compete in first-ever male-crypto/fascist pairing

Syrian villagers send sympathy message to Brits unable to go on holiday

Dominic_mcg 

Gold medal-winning UK athlete forgets to cry during BBC interview

FlashArry 

Bill and Ben sacked as PM’s speechwriters

Gerontius 

‘Crime levels down for fourth consecutive month’ boasts Priti Patel

Ian Searle 

Dulux to name a new paint colour in honour of Sky Brown.

Jeremynh 

Russia wants its money back from British embassy traitor 

Taxi drivers furious at being compared to the RNLI

Tories launch their latest sizzling summer of sleaze

UK travellers to be given advanced new ‘coin toss’ test for covid

Lockjaw54 

Latin phrases in the modern idiom

Odysseus slams today’s travel whingers

Pepys diary: Olympickes

Midfield Diamond 

Olympic committee set to invent ever more ludicrous cycling events

MzWibble 

Education minister proposes adding spells to national curriculum.

Journalism in crisis as interviewed journalist fails to follow convention

West needs to rethink policy on Islamic extremism, saytanked thinkers

oshaughnessy 

Nasa confirm Bezos & Branson are first men to reach the complete waste of space

Sinnick 

Home Office to retain covid measures “just in case”

SteveB 

Can’t-be-arsed UK government asks public to stick forks in their own eyeballs

Parents relieved: grades of privately educated cherubs canbe bought after all

Traffic lights on UK roads to have 50 shades of amber

stewartbarclay 

Johnson to ring Sturgeon’s doorbell then run away

Man admits object is ‘heavy’ and not ‘just awkward’

Planet not on fire say fossil fuel fans

Progressive Daily Telegraph to showcase brunettes’ brain

TheNewsWalrus 

Hopes fading for Kabul Wetherspoons

Throngsman 

UK leading way to reduce fossil fuels by making more people poorer – Johnson

UK leading way to reduce fossil fuels by making more people poorer – Johnson

Wrenfoe 

AI can diagnose dementia just by asking for your email’s ‘memorable word’

Just for 5 minutes you can dream that Messi will join your club

Ken Loach expelled from Labour Party for calling Keith, ‘Keith’

Terry Pratchett ‘never liked fantasy’ says journalist who never read his books

The Taliban – ‘Back in Black’

We’ll give up everything to save Earth – except cars, planes, meat, etc

Williamson insists ‘rumpy pumpy’ must be in Latin

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