WOTM July 2021 mid month

StanleyM is making a solid run for this month's title, closely followed by SteveB.  Some newer names bubbling near the top of the leaderboard as well so it's great to see new blood rising to the top.



apepper 

Raab’s mobile number online for decade, but no-one’s called it

BangngOnAgain 

Man has nervous breakdown trying to open liquid hand wash

Woman emigrates after waving at someone who was waving at someone behind her

Chipchase 

Covid beaten, PM confirms

Lucrative pizza ads beckon for England’s young lions after Wembley penalty woes

Deceangli 

Tolerance ‘getting out of hand’ say angry men

Gerontius 

Harry defends putting landmines around Diana statue

Grand Moff Starkin 

BBC pundits forlorn after realising current England players better than them

Duchess of Cambridge self-isolating after wearing same jacket twice

‘Racism not okay on social media but fine in my newspaper column’, PM explains

‘There’s no room for football in racism’, bigots confirm

jeremymh 

Lord Haw-Haw to be the exciting new face of GB News

TV commentator Sam Matterface in training for full meltdown tonight

jeremymh - ‘Who could have predicted trouble from this drunken, angry mob?’ says Met Police

medparry 

Rumsfeld ‘doublespeak’ death mystery

oshaughnessy 

Boris, Gove & Hancock pen new England anthem: three liars on my shirt

Oxbridge 

England football team to unite nation, say people who divided it

Paul L 

Faulty bikes ‘causing teenagers to ride dangerously’

Ragmans Trumpet 

Lamda variant ‘not an 80s dance craze’, WHO says

North Koreans heartbroken at Kim Jong-un’s only slightly obese appearance

Sarah Tipper 

Virgin Galactic flight delay leads to expensive KitKat purchase

We’re full now, insist fridges

Woman successfully buys bra online

Scribbler 

Kensington statue wins not looking like Diana contest

StanleyMizaru 

Chaos and confusion as matt Hancock attends Cabinet meeting

Militias form as pm says protecting Afghanistan is now ‘personal responsibility’

Only those that can’t afford to quarantine will have to quarantine

Trump sues NewsBiscuit for not writing about him

Whitty and Vallance jump ship to Saturday night on ITV

SteveB 

Estimate concludes that Wembley Stadium “about the size of a football pitch”

Football punditry actually a live group therapy session

New tasty fluoride snacks mean no one has to brush their teeth any more

Police chief warns that there is a critical shortage of trouser inspectors

Shapps wants hauliers to join government in being asleep at the wheel

stewartbarclay 

Legal problems mounting for George Galloway

‘No, not that kind of racism’ say Tories

Oops I did Gove again, admits Britney Spears

Sydalg 

Dinosaurs to make comeback tour

Throngsman 

Virgin Galactic bus replacement service ‘ready to go’

Titus 

Secret meetings frantically discuss Southgate tribute

Vertically Challenged Giant 

Football calls ahead and asks you to pop the kettle on

Wrenfoe 

Bolsonaro chronic hiccups is just his soul trying to escape

Brewdog ‘made of actual dogs’

Furlough scheme to be replaced with ‘hopes and prayers’

Success of Iceland’s four-day week leads Britain to adopt an eight-day week

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